Emily to Gremily
A podcast about the stories that start out normal and spiral into something unforgettable. Hosted by Emily Hogan, Emily to Gremily blends humor, honesty, and a touch of chaos through solo episodes and guest features. Expect cocktails, unfiltered “gremlin" stories, pop culture hot takes, and internet obsessions.
Subscribe for new episodes every Tuesday, and follow along on Instagram and TikTok @EmilytoGremilyPod for episode updates, cocktail recipes, and behind-the-scenes extras.
Make sure to email us your insane gremlin stories to EMILYTOGREMILYPOD@GMAIL.COM and they will be featured on future episodes.
Emily to Gremily
Gremlin Stories: From Phantom Kidnappings to Disney Disasters
Pour yourself a drink and join us for the wildly entertaining pilot episode of Emily To Gremily! Host Emily and her bestie Spice kick things off with signature cocktails and eight years of friendship chemistry that immediately pulls you into their orbit.
When these two get together, no topic is off-limits. We dive deep into how our zodiac signs shape our personalities, Emily embodying that bold Leo energy while balancing an Aquarius moon, and Spice navigating her intense Scorpio sun with those diplomatic Libra influences. We explore how these cosmic energies manifest in our friendship, conflict styles, and life approaches.
Things get hilariously candid when we confess our unconventional "hear me out" celebrity crushes. Forget the predictable Hollywood heartthrobs, we're talking Jason Isaacs as Lucius Malfoy, John Favreau, and other surprising attractions that reveal more about personality than conventional good looks. Our curiosity about a certain full-frontal scene in White Lotus leads to plans for "scientific research".
The highlight comes when we share our "gremlin stories" – those mortifying moments of transformation after one too many drinks. From Emily's mistaken kidnapping scare that ended with police intervention to Spice getting her Disneyland pass revoked after a meltdown over a sold-out Grogu apple, these tales of tipsy misadventures will make your most embarrassing moments seem tame by comparison.
Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @EmilytoGremilyPod for episode cocktail recipes and behind-the-scenes content. Subscribe now to join our unfiltered conversations about relationships, pop culture, and life's most embarrassing moments!
all right cheers to episode one, the pilot emily de gremley, it's on and popping exciting exciting, happy to be here today.
Speaker 1:Yes, thank you so much.
Speaker 2:You're my very first guest, very much excited to do my best no, I mean, we're just at the bar high for all you next people.
Speaker 1:Yes, we're just here to hang out and talk and gab. I'm emily emily de gremley. This is my yes, this is my bestie spice and um, I wanted to start this podcast just to have a reason to call everyone up, I know, and talk, just to have like a reason to you know, talk shit and gab.
Speaker 2:And talk music, talk movies, talk life, yep.
Speaker 1:Everything.
Speaker 2:Talk men.
Speaker 1:Yes, lots of boy talk, lots of shit talk, sex talk.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'll get into all of it. I'm excited. It's going to be a good episode.
Speaker 1:It's going to be good yes, it might be a little clunky. It's the first time and you know we're going to work out the kinks. Yeah, I'm prone to be nervous. I need everything to be 100% perfect. We've got a drink to calm the nerves. Yes, we have our drink. Oh, yeah, so we're going to have a brand new episode drink for each one. Everything's going to be, or the drinks are going to be, listed on the socials, which will be emily2gramilypod on TikTok and Instagram, so you'll be able to see what we're drinking Today. I made my own drink.
Speaker 1:Hers ended up becoming a different color, but that's okay. You know, I just added a little bit more cranberry. Yeah, she, well. No, you had more simple. The raspberry, simple syrup. Yes, yes, we thought about cranberry and then we we switched to simple syrup. I wanted more raspberry yes, so yeah, um, we've been friends for what like eight years.
Speaker 2:Yeah, about eight years. About eight years. It's been a long time right, I can't believe it. Time flies.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we were talking about it before we started and we couldn't believe it was yeah that long 2018 and I'm like it's 2025. Yeah, holy shit I feel like it was yesterday, but also I feel like it was like 10, 20 years ago like before the pandemic and then after the pandemic.
Speaker 2:It's like two different realities.
Speaker 1:That's how I really base life on. It's like kind of like bc and ad. Yeah yeah, it's pre-pandemic and post pandemic, because I'm two totally different people, oh yeah I wasn't pink before the pandemic, you were you, yeah, your whole aesthetic now is pink, pink, pink, pink, mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:All pink, everything Before it was all black, everything, yeah, you were like sinister black.
Speaker 1:Yes, you were goth and you hated pink.
Speaker 2:I hated it, but I mean, you melded your two worlds.
Speaker 1:I incorporated both today, I know.
Speaker 2:Today we meshed both of my personalities and I apparently decided to go the opposite and went blue. I know went blue.
Speaker 1:I know she's my something blue. Yes, I will be that you're something blue, exactly all right. So here I have my list, because you know it's hard for me to remember things. Yes, so we wanted to talk about our zodiac energies, because you're very much a leo.
Speaker 1:I am very much as you could tell by this podcast, it's very much about me and I'm a leo and she just wants a reason to talk. I just wanted a reason to talk and then you know you have that scorpio energy which was a little you know your pre-pandemic self with your, uh, the all black, everything.
Speaker 2:You're angry. The pink helped my scorpio self calm down.
Speaker 1:I think that was a little bit of your libra in you where you're finally yeah your libra was trying to balance yourself. Don't help me, I am not.
Speaker 2:I'm Scorpio all the way.
Speaker 1:I mean, look, when I think of you, I don't think the Libra air, yeah. I think that Scorpio water, yeah, just that deep dark water.
Speaker 2:Deep dark water. It's the raging waters within. You don't know what's beneath the surface I'll never let you know, so you're okay. So your big three are your scorpio, sun, libra, moon, libra rising and I'm on the cusp of scorpio.
Speaker 1:I'm the 25th yeah, I'm like you're almost, I'm almost full libra, almost triple libra. Yeah, triples are like ew, they're weird. Yeah, not to offend anyone who's a triple I'm offend them, I don't care that's the scorpio with me. If you don't offend them, I will I mean, yeah, I'm, yeah, I mean you know, but yeah, they're, they're a little um peculiar. They get maybe too much in their heads.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that scorpio is pulling you right out, right out, yeah, I think my libra, um, so scorpio, sun libra, moon, libra rising I feel like that is plays into like my OCD and my organization and my obsessions. I feel like that's very much Libra. I have to be organized. I like things a certain way and I think that's definitely more of a Libra aspect than a Scorpio aspect, because I see that in other Libras and I'm just like ew, why are we like this? Why are we like this? And I always deny my libra side because I feel like libras can never make up their mind and I'm very like they can't be indecisive and I feel like they absorb other people's personalities and don't really have one of their own.
Speaker 2:Okay, they just I've had a lot of skirt or libra besties and they're just like little lap dogs, you know, I feel like they just I think they're a little more. Go with the flow. Yes, and they're always the people in my opinion that are friends with everybody, and I can't stand that. I can't stand that are we talking about?
Speaker 1:pick a side so it's like they're loyal to all.
Speaker 2:So they're loyal, it's like a friend to everyone is a friend to no one, in my opinion and I feel like libras are very much like for everybody they're social butterflies, yeah and I'm like no, you gotta pick a side pick a damn. You gotta pick a damn side, like if you don't stand for something, you stand for nothing, in my opinion, true? So yeah, my opinion. That's how libras are, so I'm like, I'm not but yet you are a libra.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm two-part libra and they technically say your rising sign is who you are who you are like on, like you're at your core, like your sun sign is who you portray yourself to be, which is very much what we're doing, but I'm very nice underneath the surface. You are yeah. Very empathetic, very sweet, so I feel like that, but if you meet you right off the bat, oh yeah, you would never think that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like you got to earn that.
Speaker 1:When I first met you I was like damn, this bitch is gruff, yep, yep. I mean I found like the little soft teddy bear.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I have my soft spots you do you have to mean something to me to get to see those true yeah, right off the bat I was like she's scary yeah, everyone thinks I'm scary, but then once I'm nice, like oh, she's so nice yeah, I love her. Yeah, but yeah, to begin with it's yeah, it's very much like but I feel like I put that out on purpose, like because I don't want to be fucked with you know yeah, I mean, I put on an energy, like I'm unfuckwittable but I'm very fuckwittable but you know like I hate.
Speaker 2:A new word. Yeah, you know I'm very fuckwittable. You can definitely get inside my head, but like you'll never know, you know you're gonna keep it buried within. Yes, can't let. I don't like to let my weaknesses show. I mean, who does, though? Yeah, exactly, some people just can't hide it.
Speaker 1:I'm there's a lot. Yeah, I'm thinking of a few people who they're just like a mess, yeah you know, and they're too exposed, they can't they can't hide it. They're just a little, a little stuck about my secrets. I like to hide in the shadows, yeah, and then so, like my leoness, I feel like it's very much out there, like I like to be big and bold, center of attention, center.
Speaker 2:I love to be the center of attention I mean, how could I not be? She likes to make it about her, and that's totally fine I love that, hence the name of the podcast.
Speaker 1:Yes, I mean look, it's about me, but I mean so I'm an aquarius moon, okay, and the libra rising, so we have that in common. So, yeah, I do feel like I try to in some way be like diplomatic, where I'm like you are very diplomatic, I try to see both sides and I'm like, look, okay, I can see why this person feels this way, I can see why you feel this way.
Speaker 2:I try not you're a good mediator, for sure, yeah.
Speaker 1:I try not to not pick a side where it's, like you know, I'm going against one or going against the other, like I just want to find, like the happy medium. Because, I don't like conflict. No, you don't. I like everything to be peaceful and happy. But if there is conflict, you're ready for it. Especially if it's my conflict, I'm yeah, I'm not down, I'm not gonna be sweet, no. Or you know, if someone does me dirty, there's that ferocity, like a lion and a leo, correct?
Speaker 2:yeah, very, she's got the claws, they're there yes, I don't like to use them. No, she's like a kitten for the most part.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she wants to be played with, but I feel like I'm more like, a little more like ferocious when it comes to like people I care and love about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if it's about me, then I'm more like a little more like ferocious when it comes to, like, people I care and love about. Yeah, if it's about me, then I'm just like, whatever. Like that's where, like, my Libra-ness comes in, where I'm just like, all right, no conflict, like whatever. Like, say what you want to say, that's fine. But if, like, someone's attacking or affecting someone I love or care about, then that's where you're going to see that coming.
Speaker 2:That like little mean quality come out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can be very cunty you don't see it a lot though.
Speaker 2:No, yeah, I save it for special occasion like you know that I'm cunty to begin with, and then you know I'm soft, but you like you come across as very approachable, very nice, very soft, and then that's kind of shocking, because some people say I'm I'm unapproachable, I don't think so at all. I'm thanks I don't think so at all. I don't think so at all.
Speaker 1:I mean, I guess those people just I always thought you were just like so adorable, I don't know, I can't go.
Speaker 2:I don't know. I thought you were very welcoming. Oh great, wow, I've never heard that I don't know.
Speaker 2:At least in like friend groups. I'm just, like you know, a very delicate, soft way in your approach. Like I say you don't like conflict. If, like, that's why you're a good mediator, because your tone of voice is always like kind of what people need to hear, right, I mean like it, it evens out all of that tenaciousness where everyone's pissed. Yeah, like you just come in, you're like guys and I'm like here she comes to move everything over. It's a good thing. It's a good thing, it's why you called me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly it's the reason why we called her, and then you're mad when she does it well right, but then I feel like my like aquarius moon pops out where I don't know much about.
Speaker 1:Aquarius, tell me she's. She's a little dark where I get very like I cut people off. I, if I'm done, I'm done, I will not speak to you and I have no problem being in the same room with you, yeah, and not speaking, which is even colder I'm I can be very cold. I've been told that before. It didn't feel good when I was told that it was my libra popping out like hey, say it again, say it again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I can be very cold and it's probably not my best quality. I don't think it's anybody's best quality. It's more like I think a self-preservation thing, where I'm just trying to be like okay, you know what, I don't want to involve myself in this conflict. I don't feel like speaking about this with you. So you know what. You don't exist. That's not that great, but again, it's just it takes a lot.
Speaker 1:You can be in the same room with someone. It takes a lot to get me there. There's a few people who I've done that with. Yeah, you know it's, yeah, it's, it takes me a lot. It takes a lot to get there. Yeah, and you give chances until yeah, and I probably give too many chances. I think I'm thinking more of, like, personal relationships. You know, I have to like really care about you at one point to get to that point. Yeah, so you know, if you got me there, congrats, I cared yeah, yeah, I cared at one point.
Speaker 2:That just shows how much you meant. Or at one point?
Speaker 1:all right, so we went through our personalities big threes yeah and then now I told you to give me your biggest celebrity. Hear me out, who is your celebrity crush that other people would question you about? You know it can't be like, okay, who's your biggest celebrity crush? Who you you don't think is a hear me out where everyone's like oh yeah, he's a hear me out.
Speaker 2:I mean hayden christensen. You know I'm a star wars freak. Oh yeah, I love an Anakin. He is cute he's a fine ass. That's like, I think, the only Star Wars.
Speaker 1:Star Wars movie I've ever seen. It's so good.
Speaker 2:I mean his acting is so bad in that movie that it's so good now. I mean. I think I was like nine when.
Speaker 1:I saw it, so I was like when I rewatch it now. I'm like this is so terrible, but seen any other star wars movies. Don't make me put you through it I mean you already said you were going to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like a rite of passage I don't have to go watch them all, so I think that is so we're suffering through it. Yes, okay it's not, it's in, it's enlightening. Oh okay, yes, I feel like it really relates to real life star wars it's just like dark yeah, you know, like the force and like the dark side, like it's very much the duality of life, you know what I mean. Okay, good versus evil vibes. Okay, just in a galaxy far, far away.
Speaker 1:Okay, we're just going to equate it to Earth. Mm-hmm, I think we're doing a lot of that nowadays. Yes, okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:Like a lot of the scenes where, like, the fucking empire is giving these crazy speeches and everyone's lined up like it looks like fucking hitler shit. It's crazy which I think we're headed towards now. We're living through it literally. But I feel like movies mimic real life of course, I mean yeah I'm very much a conspiracy theorist, whatever you want to say, so I feel like I very much believe in predictive programming, like they put it out there, before it happens.
Speaker 1:Right, because it desensitizes you or it's like maybe a little bit of a warning shot, like hey look, I feel like they're mocking us.
Speaker 2:They're making fun of what they're about to go do. Yeah, no shame, no shame, but yeah, anakin.
Speaker 1:Darth Vader, that's your crush. Yeah, that's my, that's your, your crush. Yeah, that's my, who's your, hear me out, crush I feel like that one I'm so obsessed with.
Speaker 2:Um, why can't they name it's also star wars? Well, now he's star wars now he's star wars affiliate, but he used to be john favaro. Okay, it's very like he's not like your tip, like totally not like bod type. You know he has, he has dad bod energy. But like him and Vince Vaughn you know they're always in movies together. I want to climb Vince Vaughn like a tree, but that's not really a hear me out, I mean he could be. Yeah, you know, but I feel like his partner in crime.
Speaker 1:Imagine if he saw this and he was like okay. Ring-a-ding-ding.
Speaker 2:I love Vince ring-a-ding-ding, I love vince vaughn.
Speaker 1:But yeah, john favaro is not like your average like. Why would you like john favaro? Yeah, he's not. He's not topping like the list of like the 10 sexiest.
Speaker 2:He's like it's not like he's like got high. It's not like he's like fucking got a six-pack, but he's hilarious.
Speaker 1:I love the personality. Yes, I love funny guys bringing you there.
Speaker 2:I'm obsessed with funny guys like he and all his roles plays like the same role you know those guys who just play the same role different way over and over again. Yeah, definitely, I think I have a few like, if it like jason bateman, fucking dork, like I love him right there's something just so fuckable about him.
Speaker 1:Yeah, most people would be like what?
Speaker 2:when I tell dudes who I would like, who my celebrity crushes are, they're like john favreau. What, why?
Speaker 1:like it's like brad pitt, you know, and I'm like no, yeah, I feel like guys are more of like they think of, like the usuals the brad pitt um george clooney, yeah affleck, typical, yeah.
Speaker 2:Or like henry cavill, he's cute. I don't think he's that cute, I don't. I don't like pretty boys, that's the thing. Like anakin's, as pretty as it gets for me, like I can appreciate them, but they're not like my kryptonite, you know okay. So what's your kryptonite? I don't know, girl. You're like wait. Can they say?
Speaker 1:it. I don't know what is my kryptonite Like wait, can they say?
Speaker 2:it. I don't know what is my kryptonite? Oddly like something fucked up about their face.
Speaker 1:Like are you into, like that rat boy aesthetic Kind of Kind of going on right now but not like skinny grungy.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. But I like flawed faces.
Speaker 1:I don't like perfect faces. Okay, like. The first person that popped in my head was like Owen Wilson with his nose. Okay, not that flawed.
Speaker 2:Oh my God. Okay, no offense, owen Wilson, I love you. Lightning McQueen. Okay, maybe Owen Wilson is Lightning McQueen, hear me out.
Speaker 1:Great, that's a good. Hear me out, that's a good one. Okay, so we're going to go with cartoons.
Speaker 2:Yes, okay, cartoons. If we're going to hear me out, I would for a drive I saw one where they were talking about um, who I can't think of his name scar's son in lion king 2 oh okay, I haven't seen that I saw lion king. One and a half. That one's good.
Speaker 1:It's about timon and pumbaa oh okay, this is about like scar's son and then simba's daughter, and then they end up becoming an item, which is weird, because I think that would make them cousins, cousins yeah, so okay, so we're getting a little south here, but it came out. I remember watching it like as a child like like on vhs as a child I remember the line. I really hope I'm not fucking up simba's pride.
Speaker 2:Is that what it was called? I don't know, interesting, I mean hear me out.
Speaker 1:But yeah, it was a hear me out and that was like interesting like, and I didn't think about it and I was like, okay if I had to think of a cartoon. I mean, I guess like aladdin and eric are hot oh eric from eric yeah I was obsessed with him I mean he's cute.
Speaker 2:I like the dark hair as opposed to like I don't know the blonde hair.
Speaker 1:You know, see, like in normal real life, like us as humans not cartoons, not in animation, not in animation Like blonde, blue eyes are like my kryptonite.
Speaker 2:Okay, like, but in animation you like the tall, dark, handsome, I mean apparently in animation, anything goes.
Speaker 1:Yes, because we're in animation. Okay, who's goes? Yes, because we're in animation. Okay, who's your? Hear me out animation.
Speaker 2:I don't know. I feel like an animation isn't hear me out, like it seems so wrong.
Speaker 1:We're talking about a cartoon yeah, so yeah, I think any animation is um a hear me out in itself, for sure yeah, because we're talking about drawings or what about hear me out, women?
Speaker 2:oh, who'd you go, leslie for?
Speaker 1:I mean like hear me out, is it here? No, because I have like hot girls I'm trying to think. If I have a weird, hear me out I don't for women, no, because I just think women are pretty. That's true. You know, like I don't think I've ever seen a girl and been like this and like one of the bangers like you know, like you, just like been like oh for why. Yeah, yeah, that's like you know, like you just like been like oh for why yeah, yeah, that's true, that's very true.
Speaker 2:You make a good point, yeah. So, men, who is your?
Speaker 1:hear me out okay, non-animated, non-animated, yeah, okay, I have a weird one with a dilemma so let's spill, okay let me preface this have you been watching, or have you ever watched, any of the seasons of white lotus?
Speaker 1:okay, no, okay, neither have I, okay, hence my dilemma. So I've had this one for a while and I think I've told like one person maybe, and they were like what's wrong with you? Yeah, okay, I'm gonna say that the person's real name, and then you might not know him. So his name is jason isaacs. Do you know who that is?
Speaker 2:okay, I'm curious who this is now, so I'll equate him to in all the seasons, no okay, I mean, I know it's different people and all I think it is he's in the newest one.
Speaker 1:He is most famous for playing lucius malfoy. Oh my god I love him.
Speaker 2:I love him. Good choice, yeah, okay I fucking love.
Speaker 1:I thought you were gonna look at me and be like no, what he always plays an evil role, and I love it okay, so I remember watching. Did you ever see the patriot? Yes, I remember he kills the sun.
Speaker 1:He's evil he's horrible but those baby blues staring at me. I remember watching in seventh grade face and being like heath ledger's hot, but also like why am I attracted to this guy? Didn't tell anyone in seventh grade because I was like I'm gonna keep that to myself. That's weird. And then I grow up and you know I'm still attracted to him. And then I see him as evil lucius malfoy and he's got like the best skin and he's got that luscious blonde hair.
Speaker 2:I love that hair. His hair is like that platinum white, ice white cold I don't love.
Speaker 1:I mean, I love blonde hair, but like the hair.
Speaker 2:I was just kind of like, but okay my dilemma the way he speaks the accent in that movie too I mean, I'm a sucker for any accent oh, not any accent, accents, accents the british accent mainly.
Speaker 1:Yes, my dilemma. So in the new season he's in the new season of white lotus. There is apparently a scene or two where he goes full frontal. I heard it was a fake frontal.
Speaker 2:Is that true?
Speaker 1:I don't know. So it's kind of like this the situation. Did you ever see that that uh tv show was, like a couple years ago, called sex life on?
Speaker 2:netflix on netflix. I watched the whole thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I watched it for science because everyone was talking about the full frontal scene. Yeah, and I was like, well, like everyone was like doing like tiktok, reactions of like showing like their grandma and everyone's had everyone my grandma introduced me to that show.
Speaker 2:She came over and I said put anything you want on.
Speaker 1:She put that on and her boyfriend was there, like my grandma and her boyfriend came over and I said, put anything you want on.
Speaker 2:She put it on, she put that on and her boyfriend was there. Like my grandma and her boyfriend came over to visit, they put on sex life and I was like, but then I realized where I get it from my grandma's a freak. There you go. And I hadn't seen her a long time and I was just like, okay, I get it. Now I get it. I'm like I know my mom's a hoe, but my grandma's a freak.
Speaker 1:Like I see everything and that's both sides, like that's not my mom's mom, that's my dad's mom and I'm like all right, it makes sense, I get it.
Speaker 2:I get it from both sides. I was so uncomfortable at first, oh I bet. But I mean she accepts, you know my background and everything so I was just like okay, I can, I can accept this, we could watch this together and when she left, I started from season one amazing, great show yeah, so okay.
Speaker 1:So I started watching season one and I watched it only because everyone's talking about this full frontal scene and I was like what is everyone talking about? So, for science, I started watching it and then I saw what they were talking about and I was like, oh, it was like, you know, an elephant trunk like hanging out there. So now I've never seen season one or two of white lotus, but I want to start watching season three of white lotus because, because supposedly, yeah, he goes full frontal, like his robe opens.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's like sitting there with his wang out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's what I heard and I want to see it, but I feel like that makes me like I feel like pervy doing that. I don't know If he put it out there, but I want to know. It's free to see. Is it real?
Speaker 2:or is it fake? I think it's fake. I'm pretty. I think he made a statement saying that it was a fake.
Speaker 1:Well, now I'm not even interested, I don't even want to see it now he could be lying to protect his rep or something. Also, I can't believe anything the Hollywood stars did. I saw that someone was like oh, you can tell whether or not it's real, whether he's circumcised or not. So again for science.
Speaker 2:I'm just trying to find out oh maybe, yes, we'll have to watch. I mean, I guess we got homework, now let's go. Let's go watch it. There's been an assignment.
Speaker 1:We have an assignment I'm curious to see also, like if it's a fake, it better look good like it, better not.
Speaker 2:I think it looks good. I just it better not be like a grower. If it's like fake, is it fake because it's longer than his really is, or is it grossier, like what's fake about it? The length of the girth?
Speaker 1:I don't know. We have to find out.
Speaker 2:We need to go watch it you know, it was funny when you brought this up, because I one of my um, what were we talking about? What? Uh, hear me out, hear me out yes, mine used to be, but now, like, I feel like everyone has a crush on him, kind of Jason Segel oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I love you, man. Oh yeah, he's forgetting Sarah. Yeah, forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Speaker 2:I love you, man, like you know he just looks like a curly-haired tall guy, but he does full frontal yes.
Speaker 1:And forgetting. Sarah Marshall in the unedited version. Yeah, I can picture it right now it's real and he like you know when he opens a towel and shows it, and he like, slaps it back and forth and you can hear it on his leg.
Speaker 2:I was like because I had only seen, like I don't know, the regular version. But then when I saw like the uncut or the dvd, version literally uncut. No, he's cut, he's cut. But um, when I saw the director's version, or extended version, whatever it was, I was like, and I already had a crush on him. So I was like okay and he had the balls to do that and it was definitely real Like it looked.
Speaker 1:We're like 100% sure, yeah, Not us objectifying men and asking is it real? Is it real At least?
Speaker 2:you know the tables have turned. We can objectify them if they want to objectify us. True, fair game. Yeah, fair game, yeah, fair game. We don't do it intentionally, no, I'm like. It's not like we walk around and stare at their imprints and being like I mean, most of them don't have the imprint exactly, but they can go around staring at our cleavage and our ass all day, true, and like breaking necks in the process, not even being discreet about it you know, like literally.
Speaker 2:So he used to be like you hear me out, but I feel like he got popular. I mean he's cute. He's cute. I just I told you, like the funny, weird guys and I like it, I want to climb him and vince vaughn like a tree, like the tallness yeah, you know, I've never been with someone that tall, so it's, it's a thing. So who's the?
Speaker 1:tallest guy you've ever been.
Speaker 2:Like, what, like, I think the tallest guy I've ever dated, not like slept with, but like dated.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dated Slept with.
Speaker 2:I mean, I don't really care Dated I think it was my high school boyfriend. He was like three, two years or three years older than me, I forget, but he was like one of those tall, skinny white boys.
Speaker 1:Okay, so still sticking with your theme.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, but I mean, he was like skinny. You know, I don't, I can't do like that whole pale skinny, like looks like they're dying like they're gonna fly away like an african look, yeah, no, I don't do that. Like smoke cigarettes dying like no, I don't? They're like um, they got the heroin chic look. Yeah, I don't like that anymore. That was definitely like a high school thing I think he was.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know I definitely had my emo girl face and like know he was all like tatted and whatnot and that was that, but I think he was the tallest. I think Actually. No, that's not true. Bitch Randall was the tallest. I call him Bitch Randall, he knows.
Speaker 1:He's still Bitch Randall on my phone.
Speaker 2:You said Bitch Randall. To me, like I'm, this guy is bitch randall. I think he's at least like six foot, yeah, and he's mexican. So that's interesting. I'm mexican. We're not tall people, we're just not. Do you see any mexicans in the nba or on the football field? You just don't. We're not.
Speaker 1:I'm still stuck on bitch randall. Yeah, it's because. Do we have a reason for yes?
Speaker 2:one day we were we're all partying in high school, we're all in in a car I think it was my friend's minivan and we're just like A typical high schooler's car. Yeah, we're doing beer runs, like you know, and I always did beer runs with the boys because I was always down. So one day he was just like he always bitching, like he's always yapping, always got something to say and one day we're like 15 years later still calling this guy.
Speaker 2:He's always been bitch randall in my phone and everyone started calling him bitch randall oh no, yes, yes, does he care? No, I mean he. I mean he can't, he can't, he just can't. He's gonna sound like a bitch. I saw him recently, kind of um. I went back to my hometown to get my keys because I locked myself out of um. I went back to my hometown to get my keys because I locked myself in my apartment and one of my best friends had my spare keys all the way in fucking pomona, oh my god.
Speaker 2:So I ended up like making a pit stop and going to this bar and saying hi to old friends, and he was there and I was just like this is interesting, you're still bitch randall and he's still I think. Let me see. I'm pretty sure he's still bitching on my phone. I mean, if I have his number saved oh my god, this poor guy yeah, I mean, he's lucky I don't call him his other name.
Speaker 2:But yeah, oh no, we won't ask what that? Okay, he's abbreviated, at least he's br br, he's br. Oh no, but it was bitch randall for a long time. I was like well, we know who br is.
Speaker 1:Well, now we do. Sorry, Randall, nah, don't be sorry, you should have stopped bitching.
Speaker 2:He has like potato chip ears too, so I would call him Lays. Are they thin, Very Like paper Like up here, Like he almost has no cartilage curve.
Speaker 1:Like you know, we have this. Well, you can get a piercing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he like they're like, you know we have this like you can get. Well, you can get a piercing. Yeah, he like can't get a piercing because there's nothing there. So and that's that nickname came along the same time. He was bitchy in the car. I was like with your potato chip ears I'm good at roosting I mean, I was a bitch in high school more than I am now. Yeah, now I'm more subtle about it are you, though?
Speaker 1:no, okay, no, at least we're self-aware.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm just I choose who I want to pick on more precisely now. Before it was like anybody could get it.
Speaker 1:Now I'm just like I have to care, I don't care, I don't have to care, I'm not gonna make a joke about you, you're not.
Speaker 2:You're not important enough to hate.
Speaker 1:Yes, sit down.
Speaker 2:Yes, yep.
Speaker 1:Exactly Quote by the great Used to be great.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, lisa Vanderpump, we still, we still Kind of like her. We have to like her because she's kind of grandfathered in, but apologist, he's just a naughty boy yeah, no, no.
Speaker 1:Do you see the stuff about james and tate brothers like, yes, we're not, we're not happy with that. We'll get into that. Yeah, I mean we can talk about it now. Who cares we'll? We'll keep bitching about men a different day too um yeah, it was just yeah. James kennedy, who is famous from vanderpump, rules he I was rooting for him, we were, we were all rooting for you. Yeah, he was um. He took a selfie with the tate brothers. Ew, we should. It was like a slap fest yeah, we should beat the name because, uh, they're horrific, people horrific not really.
Speaker 1:at least they've been deplatformed, yeah they don't deserve the attention of us. But you know, here we are talking about them. We'll call them the T brothers, it's fine. So, yeah, he was taking a selfie with them and then supposedly said he didn't know who they are. Denied, denied, denied. Yeah, he denied it and then they came out and said he was begging for a selfie with us and now he's claiming he doesn't know who we are. You know what that reminds?
Speaker 2:me. He's a fucking little bitch that beam a selfie, remember, and he's like go take a honda civic selfie. Yes, it's like, bro, you knew you were trying to be myself, you were trying to be cool, like yeah, like he I don't know what.
Speaker 1:I don't know what's going on with him. Not that I know him personally.
Speaker 2:I'm acting like I know these people, yeah, I mean, we feel like it, we live we live close to these people like we live right by west hollywood. So it's not like we're those super fans that are like out of touch. Yeah, no, we go to the restaurant. We've eaten the goat cheese balls, we've been to tom tom and everything you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we've lived it but it's just, um, yeah, disappointing. It's disappointing, to say the least. I heard, or like I saw on, like you know, the websites, that the girls unfollowed him, including Allie. Oh, really, yeah, like Katie, allie, the rest of the girls, sheena, finally, are done with him yeah that they unfollowed him right after the whole Tate brother incident.
Speaker 1:Like, how many times can you do this? How many times can you do this? How many times can you say you didn't know, or that you were drunk and you're sorry, like we've all had our drunken shitty-ass moments, but this is a little more vile. Yeah, vile, and with the political climate we're in, it's like we don't need any more hatred towards women going on here and to just be so unaware, and I don't think he's unaware.
Speaker 1:I just think he felt the ramifications of what he was doing and decided sorry till he got caught yeah, he yeah exactly, and the whole he wasn't sorry he cheated. He was sorry that he found out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, like the whole, thing with the domestic violence, with Allie and the yelling.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's just it's not new how he treated Kristen, it's just old. It's old news Like you can't keep saying the same thing over and over again. Yeah, she's like our fucking prophet.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she's like Mother Teresa, she's our Nosferatu. She's crazy or not Nosferatu? Who am I talking?
Speaker 1:about Nostradamus. No shidamis, oh okay, I was like girl. Oh my god, you're the smarter one. I'm over here talking about my fucking, did you well? My movies on peacock, like waiting in my queue, oh my god no, no, she predicts everything.
Speaker 2:She yes and she's always looked like crazy and she's been right the entire time yeah, she's.
Speaker 1:Everyone just chalks up to her being like a Looney Tune and Miami girl.
Speaker 2:You know she was right because even Ariana admitted that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That she knew and she was just defending Sandoval and pretending like men just suck, men just suck. And Jack's now admitting he has a cocaine problem. Like we didn't know, he's been skiing for years, god.
Speaker 1:It's like saying, oh my God, how many nose jobs and why? Yeah, like you blew through three noses.
Speaker 2:It's like saying like, oh, wow, emily likes vodka, yeah, shock shocker wow hey, guess what spice is kind of a bitch, wow, oops, oops, like dude, like we knew, they knew don't make it obvious we could tell by the pupil size and just his rage you know, all the time for no reason, like a bull in a china shop all the time and like the, the disbelief, you know, like the way he could convince himself of certain things was very much drug addict behavior you know what I mean, like you can believe your life.
Speaker 1:You and I have been around a lot of drug addicts in our time yes, we, even my former self in high school, like I would say I could believe any lie I told myself oh yeah, and I'm like I see right yeah, like I've been you baby.
Speaker 2:It's really sad that britney stuck with him through that I, you know, I saw something.
Speaker 1:I think it was actually earlier today that she had said that if she never had her son cruz, that she thinks she would have stayed with him because she didn't realize how horrible he was treating her until she was in front of her son being treated that way and realized like wait, hold on. This isn't right, this isn't normal.
Speaker 2:Yeah, something becomes, something switches.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like someone else involved yeah, like her maternal instinct, like flipped on, and she was like not that it wasn't ever on, yeah, but that it flipped. And she was just like wait, hold on. This isn't normal for like this, like sweet innocent child, to be around.
Speaker 2:No, so she, you can normalize it for yourself, and you can rationalize it for yourself, but when you're looking at it through a lens of a child, yeah, like she's watching, like she sees her two-year-old watching this and she was like wait, hold on, okay, yeah you know what this isn't right.
Speaker 1:I I need to make a change. So I'm proud of her for making the change. For sure, she's got a beautiful baby boy out there yeah like you know, she didn't see it earlier, she would have never had her baby. So we're happy for her now.
Speaker 2:But the whole cast was skiing. You know what I mean. Like he had a problem, you know, but like production knew For sure the cast knew. Did you see that clip where they saw like the plate in the room?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was at his wedding.
Speaker 2:At his wedding there's a plate.
Speaker 1:In his room there's a plate and you see him like bending over to like make a line. I'm like dude, this is crazy. And then like yeah, and then Sandoval's like looking around, like shocked that the cameras are there.
Speaker 2:I always wondered how they could drink so much, and it's like I mean, yeah, now we know.
Speaker 1:I remember back in the day I used to like chug, like you know, handles. Let's take a guess why. Yeah, it's not because my tolerance is like this high. Yeah, I'm like you can only drink like that if there's other substances involved yes like I just couldn't believe that yeah, and he's over here being like guess what, guys, I do cocaine tissues like bro, we've been knowing especially when you yelled at lisa vanderpump in her own restaurant and then this is my show flipped everyone off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then he's lucky, he's on my show. We mean, your show like this isn't your show. Not even your own podcast is your show, man, not even your bar was your bar for real.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, the issues. I've never been there either I mean, I know now it's britney, so we'll have to go.
Speaker 1:We will know she has a different place. Oh okay, so we'll have to go.
Speaker 2:We'll have to go we're gonna go spritz bar.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're gonna go support that'll be female supporting, of course, women supporting women always except some of you bitches are very dumb, it's some yeah, well, you know, you know, we support them from afar.
Speaker 2:Yes, I won't clap for you, but I won't boo for you. I'm indifferent, it's that.
Speaker 1:Libra.
Speaker 2:I'm very indifferent I guess that is part of me sometimes, the damn Libra I know, and Libras have good luck, though, and I feel like I don't have good luck Really. Why not, girl, have you looked? And I feel?
Speaker 1:like I don't have good luck really. Yeah, no, why not? I love you. Look at my life. I don't know. I mean, when I look at your life or think of your life, I'm not like damn unlucky.
Speaker 2:No, I just feel like ever since that like lil wayne song like nasty as a scorpio, but I'm a lucky libra, like it's one of his lyrics I don't even know that I'm like hey, I am nasty as a scorpio but I'm not lucky as a Libra and I don't know.
Speaker 2:Maybe I don't know if that's not true. I've been, I've gotten through some things. I guess that's luck or whatever. But you know, I never win anything. I never get picked Like. I'm not one of those lucky people where, like, like you, win the lotto, not the lotto other Libras I know have like random things in their life that they didn't earn necessarily.
Speaker 1:Like it was just kind of handed to them yeah like this is just the luck of the draw. Maybe it's only if you're a sun Libra. Yeah, that's fine. I don't know. I don't mind earning my stripes.
Speaker 2:You know.
Speaker 1:but I'm like, yeah, I definitely don't have that lucky Libra sign, that's really for fun because I got, I don't got that I've never won on a scratcher I really rarely win, but but I have so many people who do. I've won a few. Like not, I'm not talking about like thousands like I think I won, like I don't know, like 20 bucks. I got really excited, 20 or something. I mean it didn't pay for the amount of scratchers that were bought, but you know it was like more. It's like when those things were like you buy so many lottery tickets, like you gotta win something. Yeah, you know it was just like I wish I won the lottery.
Speaker 2:It made me feel better about myself for real, for real like, but we all waste money on the lottery, so I mean someone's bound to win eventually.
Speaker 1:California always wins too. Yeah, but it's never like anytime. My boyfriend I go on a trip like and we're driving through like a random ass part of town yeah, like small town barstow or like you know something like that, like where it's just like not out to barstow, you know it's like like a kind of like an out there town where it's not like you know, the corner fucking sepolvita. Yeah, you know, they usually are a little more prone to winning yeah, so we'll buy a ticket. I mean, we still don't. I saw someone.
Speaker 2:We're trying yeah, someone was just. I'm in a lotto pool all the time with my ex and all of his friends so I think it's like probably like a dozen of us, okay, and like we're like one of us is bound to win, and like we all, split it if someone wins. So I'm like, well, at least I got these, these asians that spent a lot of money on a lot of tickets. They're like here's my dollar.
Speaker 1:Yeah I'm like.
Speaker 2:Here's my contribution what did you bring to the table? A dollar, but you still gotta split it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you still gotta split it because if I would have won, and you only put this, I would split it with you too.
Speaker 2:So it's funny, I'm in a lotto pool and I just then. We venmo every every week, or whatever oh, wow well, I don't venmo. I cash up.
Speaker 1:I'm kicked off, venmo oh my gosh, we won't ask why yeah I mean, it's just just fuck, venmo okay, I mean I haven't used venmo in years. Yeah yeah just um, yeah, they don't like me, but if you, if venmo wants to sponsor, I'm down to be sponsored just you know.
Speaker 2:wait, I Wait, I was no, who not Venmo? Was it Brian Johnson who created Venmo, or did he do PayPal? I couldn't tell you.
Speaker 1:either way, do you know who that is? Nope.
Speaker 2:The guy who wants to live forever.
Speaker 1:Oh, the one who has a weird documentary and he kind of looks like paper mache.
Speaker 2:Yes, he was just on an episode of the Kardashians too, oh my God. The kardashians too, oh my god, because kim's vain ass, you know, wants to.
Speaker 1:yes, okay yeah, he's um. People are asking is he a vampire? Because he looks. I haven't. He looks like a ghost. I haven't seen the episode. I don't like know about him, I just I. I saw him and I don't want to live forever if that's what I'm going to look like.
Speaker 2:I just think it's weird to want to live forever, if that's what I'm going to look like.
Speaker 1:I just think it's weird to want to live forever, I mean are we having a great time right now?
Speaker 2:Yeah, why are you trying to deny what's natural, like I understand, like curing diseases, vibe, but like live forever for what Like?
Speaker 1:what are we working towards? Yeah, there's got to be an end goal somewhere.
Speaker 2:It just seems very vain. Know, I'm just like this is man, is just like so full of himself like I don't feel like this is for the greater good.
Speaker 1:I feel like this is very show showy you know what I mean. Like okay, I know he has a documentary out but I haven't.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's called like don't die oh okay, it's called. It's called something like that, but on netflix like.
Speaker 1:What are his tips and tricks like? Is he asking you to buy?
Speaker 2:he doesn't eat after 11 am either. Like the man lives so, very so he's just fasting yeah, he like eats and he only eats like the same thing every day. It's very interesting. He uses all this like. He has all these like labs.
Speaker 1:I heard he takes like 200 pills a day. Yeah, like vitamin? Yeah, no wonder he doesn't. That's not living like hey, you want to live forever, so you can do this routine every day. Like what's the 200 pills a day? Yeah, like vitamin? Yeah, no wonder he doesn't eat.
Speaker 2:That's not living. Like, hey, you want to live forever, so you can do this routine every day. Like what's the point of living forever if you're going to live the same day?
Speaker 1:every day.
Speaker 2:I wonder what he takes Like what. I think the guy is weird and he used to be a Mormon. He Some crazy shit.
Speaker 1:Yes, I'm very excited. And he left the.
Speaker 2:Mormon church, so he's okay.
Speaker 1:For now, that's like yeah Well, you know what, we'll circle back on this and talk about it because, okay, a new homework assignment. We're gonna watch jason isaac's penis yes in white lotus and we're gonna see what the hell's going on with that dude. That don't die, we'll get into that yeah, and we'll have to go back into that vitamins is this guy taking because?
Speaker 2:and he on the episode of kardashians he says he gets like multiple erections throughout the night and like kim and chris are like. Thanks for that information like what is it?
Speaker 2:because he says like, says like, having multiple erections throughout the night is like a sign of like vital health and all these things. And I'm like, yeah, true, who tells him that he has these multiple boners? He records them. Like he wears something at night that records his sleep and his boners, apparently Like an aura ring. Yeah, I bet Like something, he like records it and he gets multiple erections by aura maybe.
Speaker 1:Oh no, he has his own crazy companies.
Speaker 2:Oh man, yeah, we'll talk about. I could tell you about it later. But he also has this like company he's involved with where you could pay like thirty thousand dollars to try and cure your depression with like this machine and you have to do. You can do it like 50 sessions in five days or you can do like 50 sessions over the course of like a couple months. But I saw this girl do it and it did not cure her depression but honestly, it didn't look like she had depression either. She just seemed like I wanted. I wanted to see them do it on someone with like trauma, severe trauma and depression. You know, I didn't. She didn't talk about her backstory, so I can't judge what her trauma was or what her depression came from.
Speaker 2:She didn't talk about her backstory, so I can't judge what her trauma was or what her depression came from. She didn't talk about it, but I feel like that would give more context. Hmm, hmm. I would not pay $30,000, though $30,000 for 500 or 50 sessions For 50 sessions In five days you have to do so. It's like 25 days.
Speaker 1:It sounds like it's like old psychotherapy, like electrodes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it it sounds like it's like old psychotherapy, like electro. Yeah, okay, it looks like that it clicked your head. It's like oh, no, no, no, and I was like what are the after?
Speaker 1:I mean, why not just like, lobotomize, like let's call it a damn day? Yes, we're going back in time.
Speaker 2:Anyway, that's what I'm saying like everything is reversing, so I don't know I think, brian johnson's a kook.
Speaker 1:Next subject we'll circle back, we're gonna. We're gonna go watch and listen and see what the fuck's going on over there and in your opinions too, please.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you want to live forever. Yeah, do you? Want to live forever, I mean I'd rather be a vampire if I want to live forever. I'd be a fucking vampire if that was like an actual thing, but I want to be, not a human yeah, yeah, no like I could be a human forever.
Speaker 1:No, I I got enough problems right now. Yeah, vampire Hell. Yeah, it hurts to like I would go kill all bad men.
Speaker 2:Women would be able to walk freely at night, because I would just be sucking men's blood as they're trying to prey on them. I would. I would just the world would be a safer place if there were female vampires. That's how we think you know vampires probably don't exist.
Speaker 1:We're not living in Twilight. God damn it, I wish. I mean, you know, twilight was.
Speaker 2:I love those movies.
Speaker 1:I do too. I hate them, but I love them. They were on what was it? Was it Hulu? I think it was Hulu, or you know, tubi, I don't know. Whatever it was on something I it was on something. I watched all of them and kind of felt shitty about myself, but I enjoyed it. Whatever works, yeah. I was over here working on my computer and it was on in the background and I was just like, wow, this movie's really bad.
Speaker 2:but I'm really enjoying it. I didn't watch the Twilight movies when they came out. I'm one of those people that has to wait for the hype to die down. You don't want to be in on the trend, yeah, no, I refuse to watch Game of Thrones for the same reason I never watched it.
Speaker 1:I'm just not into it.
Speaker 2:I mean not that I want to watch it now, I think that's probably why I don't watch White Lotus, because everyone won't shut the fuck up about it. I mean I like watching things that no one else watches. I'm going to watch it now?
Speaker 1:Yeah, of course, but I cares what's going on down there.
Speaker 2:You put it out there. It's for entertainment value. Yeah, let's see what's.
Speaker 1:Let's see what's going on exactly exactly, okay, so part of this podcast it's called emily to gremlin for the reason of actually you coined the term. Yeah, I did, you did. So it's you become a gremlin kind of like in the movie where you're not supposed to what like you're not supposed to feed the gremlins or gizmo before it becomes a gremlin.
Speaker 2:They're called mogwai. Okay, mogwai yeah, you're not supposed to feed it or drink any water after midnight, or else it turns into a gremlin, which is what we become after we've had several cocktails yeah it's usually titos usually titos um, but you know, we'll kind of take what we can get exactly and I became the gremlin gang.
Speaker 1:We became the gremlin gang um with several others, and yeah, so part. That's why it's emily to gremlin, because, yes, you know the transformation happens, yeah hopefully not today, no, but you're doing good I'm doing good, yeah, I'm sipping, yeah, but yeah, so we're gonna talk gremlin stories which happened after we you know transformed. Do you want to go first? You want me to go first? You go first, me go first. Okay, all right, I don't know if you know this story. I don't think.
Speaker 2:I do.
Speaker 1:And it's embarrassing. I mean, they're all embarrassing. If it's a gremlin story, you're not, you know, proud of it. Okay, so it's the first christmas that I spent with my now current boyfriend. Um, we were house sitting for his brother and we had gone to his family's house for christmas day. Everything was lovely.
Speaker 1:And then we decided to go to a bar with a few of his friends, or a friend I think, a friend I don't know, there could have been several people there go to a bar at night and so we go there. And you know me when I drink and I get pat like that blackout point, I like to run away. Yes, you do I I'm a runner.
Speaker 1:It's the only time it's the only time I run got a runner. We got a runner, go get her. She's a track star. So I don't remember leaving the bar. And I woke up and I was in a really, really dark room you're laughing now. I was in a dark room and there were no windows. So I thought I had been kidnapped because I didn't remember leaving the bar and I was like oh my god, I think I got kidnapped and I thought I was in a shipping container and I'm like, and I there was like a bunch of stuff around me yeah so I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 1:So I like, I eventually like clawed my way to freedom, like on top of something, because I was under like boxes and I found a window. So I'm banging on the window for like what felt like I don't know hours, and then I was trying to unscrew the, the window pane, oh my god, and so I can't get even traffic. Yes, yeah, so I was unscrewing the windows but they went unscrew, so my hands got all tore up and I was banging, like you know, for its safety or freedom or I don't know what I was going at. But I was like trying to get help, I was trying to be saved, and I kept yelling my boyfriend's name Because I was like, if he's around, that's why I didn't get an answer. So finally the police show up, not the po-po. The po-po came, oh my God, and they like flashed their lights and they're like flashing them in the window and they're like ma'am, are you okay? I was like I don't know where I am. They were like, okay, they're like there's a door right here and I was like where it was around stuff.
Speaker 1:I was in a garage and luckily it was the garage of his brother, so I did. So what ended up happening is I had gotten drunk at the bar and we went back to his brother's house and everything was great, went to sleep At some point because when I woke up, thinking I was kidnapped, I did have to pee, okay, and I still had to pee because I was like, oh my God, like I didn't know what to do, yeah. So I think I woke up needing to find the bathroom and I somehow wandered, which the bedroom to the garage. It's not close. So I just was wandering the house, went into the garage and just, I think, laid down, that's the only explanation. Wow. So they're like ma, ma'am, there's a door right here, so I I finally make your exit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like you know, sheepishly, I feel like a fucking moron. So I, you know, walk out and they're like well, have, are you under the influence of anything? I was like I, we were drinking last night. You know they're thinking like this, you know high idiot.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they probably think you're high on methamphetamine or something.
Speaker 1:I mean, if I was, I probably would have remembered yeah, but yeah no, if you were high on methamphetamine, you would have got out of there. Probably yeah. So I just was like. I was like we were drinking and I don't know. I think this is the house I'm supposed to be at and they are talking to me out front, and then I look over and I see my boyfriend he's like waving at me from the front door. I was like can I go back inside that way?
Speaker 2:they're like yes, ma'am, like did your little walk of shame.
Speaker 1:Oh no, I felt I don't.
Speaker 2:I almost broke up with him that day because you were so embarrassed, because I was so, not because I was mad at him or nothing.
Speaker 1:I was just so embarrassed. I was like I I don't want to do this, I don't want to live in this embarrassment in this show anymore and I like seriously considered like being like.
Speaker 1:You know, I think we're over, which is so funny, it's so not fair to him and I know you're listening to this and I'm so sorry, but we love you. We love you. But, um, yeah, I was so embarrassed by it and I was just like, oh my god, like I'm an idiot. And he said that he woke up from the police shining a light on him. They were like sir, sir, and how and he reached over and he was like she's not here, he's like what'd she do? Oh?
Speaker 2:they will. What did you do?
Speaker 1:I'm like you're acting, like I get like pulled by the police. Yeah, on the reg, which is is not true, but it's really not that's.
Speaker 2:It's really not true. She's like a saint for the most part yes, I have never been in handcuffs.
Speaker 1:It's actually, we're talking about real life in real life.
Speaker 2:Like scorpio and me, I'm dirty. I'm dirty in real life.
Speaker 1:I have never been put in handcuffs, you know that's an accomplishment to be taken away. Yeah, that is such an accomplishment, honestly I feel like I said it out loud and now I'm something's about to go down no, no, you're not the type to be detained.
Speaker 2:I feel like I like put it out there and now the universe is like bet no, you're good, you're good and you're we, we're gremlin, so we don't gremlin too hard anymore. Yes, we save it for special occasions.
Speaker 1:This was now, I think, holidays are exceptions.
Speaker 2:Though it was, bad shit always happens. It was also like six, seven years ago yeah, seven years ago so she girl. That's like the gremlin origin story right there.
Speaker 1:That's when yeah, yeah and again, I don't remember. I really thought that I somehow ran away from him and then I got picked up by a scary person.
Speaker 1:You know me and my I mean that's a rational me and my true crimes you know, I thought like, oh my god, I'm gonna be like an episode of dateline and that's that. So I was like determined, I was like traumatic, I was like I'm going to be, I'm gonna fight for my life. There was nothing to fight, I was just trying to get through a window. So stupid, horrible. I hate myself just talking about it.
Speaker 2:What did she do? What, yeah, what did she do? She never does anything. What do you mean? I mean, he was used to my you're like, not even like a jaywalker type. You're not even like. You're a crosswalk person.
Speaker 1:I do crosswalk, yeah it's because I'm terrified I might get hit by a car I wish someone would you're like I'm waiting for that ferrari to hit me.
Speaker 2:I walk too fast, can't catch me. I'm impatient, I don't catch me. I'm impatient. I don't wait for lights. I'm like a New Yorker, I just go.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, we don't wait. That cab's waiting to get you. No, I'm like go ahead.
Speaker 2:I'll be fighting that cab driver, okay.
Speaker 1:So what's your Gremlin story then? Okay, yours is probably going to be better than Better than mine.
Speaker 2:Mine's just sad. I turned into a gremlin at Disneyland.
Speaker 1:And I, when don't you?
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, I have a little more control now Ended up me getting my pass revoked for 30 days. I'm a Disneyland magic key holder. Yes, I was day drinking all day going to the parks. I got so drunk I was stumbling through the parks. They don't like that I was stumbling through the parks. I was trying to watch, we were trying to get to the water show. What is it Not World of Color, the one in front of? Fuck, how am I a regular then? I don't know what it's called.
Speaker 1:I was too drunk to know what it was called.
Speaker 2:And I've still never seen that show to this day, the one in like new orleans square area on the water, where they do all the digital, the water okay that one I was trying to get to that. I was trying to like go through the crowds. I was like stanky, legging through that crowd like it like move child like one of those like the things in front of the car, yeah I think I was just like waving the wacky inflatable legs were just like giving out.
Speaker 2:My legs were giving out at disneyland, and so a person I was with was like let's just get a snack, like let's just chill a snack. Yeah, he was wasted too. So, yeah, I wanted one of the grogu apples. You needed like a pretzel. No, I demanded a grogu apple that was gonna cure my ailments, I swear. So we go to the place to get the grogu apple, and I think this is why security was called, because oh no, once there was no grogu apples left.
Speaker 1:I threw a fucking tantrum.
Speaker 2:What kind of tantrum, like I've seen you throw a tantrum. Yeah, I know there was a physical assault kind of I was like, because I had you assaulted the no, not a disney employee, the person I was with, because I said I wanted this apple earlier in the day and I know it's going to sell out and they're like, oh, we'll just get it later.
Speaker 2:And my drunk ass was so emotional that I couldn't get my apple. I was in the store and I was like there's still alive? Yeah, not me. Barely, barely, barely, and so I punched him in the chest and I was just like like literally started crying, crying over a grogu caramel apple and I was like, oh my god. I was like it's all your fault. I told you I wanted my apple.
Speaker 2:Security was called so we like walked out of the store and I'm like stumbling is he like desperate to get you away? He didn't even realize how drunk I was. We were both so intoxicated I don't think he cared. You know like that's normal gremlin behavior he was like she gets drunk and hits me and cries when she doesn't get away all the time like so what she does like this is a thursday.
Speaker 1:What are you talking about?
Speaker 2:exactly. This isn't normal. So then we're like walking, walking, and I'm still like can't even stand and I like leave him because I'm so upset. So I start power, I'm kind of a runner so I start power walking ahead of him and I trip and I like eat shit drunk and that's when security comes. I think they were like tailing us, you know what I mean after the punch, because when I punched him, the the Disney employee was like this is the happiest place on earth.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I was like ooh, like I was. They were rolling their eyes Like it gave them the ick for sure, she messy. So then the security came and like I'm sorry, like we're going to have to ask you guys like to leave the park and my drunk no, like if you would just left, I know, but it's because it was a woman security officer, big bertha came around, oh no, and she was just giving that like female cop energy and like I don't like, if you ask me to leave, fine, but like even the guy I was with was like damn, she was like a bitch. You know what I mean. Like trying to prove a point, yeah, trying to prove a point.
Speaker 2:And I was just like what's your name? And I was like what is? I'm like looking at the name tag and I like Not comprehending it. No, I was like zooming in on my phone, like the picture's all blurry, the picture's all blurry, and I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna report you. And I was like I totally acted like a Karen, like literally, I was just like what's your number? And like we could have gotten away with it never could just left yeah, but never give like.
Speaker 2:If you're gonna get kicked out of the park, don't tell them you're a magic key holder don't tell why and what's your number? Yeah, you know, like they were like do you guys have tickets for the day? Or like do you guys have passes? And little good boy narc over here was like yeah, we have passes.
Speaker 1:Like can we see?
Speaker 2:them and like then they, you know they can see your barcode so, so they like canceled out our fucking. No, this is the.
Speaker 1:Thing.
Speaker 2:No, they only did it to mine. The next day we had plans to go again. I'd be like, well, we can't go because of you. Because they didn't tell me that. Like you know that your thing is revoked, like they walked us out of the park, you know. So the next day you found out, the next day I tried to my pass. It was like revoked and I was like what the heck.
Speaker 1:And then he was like they took your pass away, huh. And I was like no, and then we went back. You're like your day's ruined too, man.
Speaker 2:Yeah well, he just had to buy me a ticket, so I was like this is coming out of your wallet because I was you're not banned from the park of your past. You can't use your pass, so I still went. The next day. I was like you can't keep me out of here. Did you get drunk again? Not that drunk but yes, I still indulged a gremlin's gonna gremlin.
Speaker 2:But it was so funny like we were at the gates and I that's when I realized I didn't even realize till we were at the gate and I was like what the fuck? My pass is in here and he's like no way, like they revoked your pass. And then I got an email like later in the afternoon saying like your pass is suspended for 30 days and disney keeps like a record.
Speaker 1:So like, so you're like I have, you're on their their list?
Speaker 2:yeah, so if I were like to do that again, like they may not do it for 30 days, they may do it indefinitely. Oh no, yeah, so he had to buy me a ticket. Use the ticket to enter the park and then we had another drunk.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like, if you have like, okay, you have one strike against you. Fine, like it's a 30 I think it's like a three strike. But yeah, like what's your second strike and what is like your third strike. You can't go to any disneyland anywhere. I would be disney world. I will cry like any of them.
Speaker 2:I will cry if anyone knows right then, yeah, seriously, have you ever been banned? Have you ever had your past revoked? My friend, uh ariel, just went day before yesterday. Same thing happened to her. She got banned. Yeah, would she do? I? I mean, I wish I, I thought I had told her this story, because I would have told her.
Speaker 2:I would have told her buy a ticket well, that too, but I would have told her don't tell them you're a pass holder. Yeah, like dumbass who I was with was like here's our info. You know what I mean? I'm like you don't give the cops information, yeah, you just say you bought a ticket, yeah we don't have it but you, you could have went on your merry way earlier.
Speaker 2:Yes, I know, but she was at California Adventure, like two days ago, and she got kicked out and she got her people she was with kicked out, who also have passes and who weren't as drunk as her, but they went down with her basically. So all of their passes are Guilty by association. Yeah, they all, and it was her cousin and someone else got their passes revoked for 30 days two days ago so this is a thing.
Speaker 1:Hopefully they didn't have a plan to go back within the next.
Speaker 2:No, her and I had reservations to go tomorrow, so you're just chilling for the day. I canceled my reservation she doesn't even have a pass to go with and like I'm sure she's not. I mean I wouldn't have gone back unless someone bought my ticket. Like I'm not fucking paying, like, yeah, almost three hundred dollars just to go for the day.
Speaker 1:It's ridiculous. Yeah no, it's expensive as shit. I saw two, I think. I saw earlier today that I don't know if it's like for sure, but they might do like a sliding scale where it's like the ticket will be more expensive if the demand is up.
Speaker 2:Oh that's, and it's like it's already expensive, as it is like I've only like my monthly pass. I have the highest one and it's like 145 a month, which to me is worth it, because a ticket to go to both parks one time is like 200, like two something, and then that's like 220.
Speaker 1:That's just to get in. We're not talking about parking. We're not talking about food.
Speaker 2:I get free parking with mine yeah, so I get free parking with my pass and like 10 to 15 percent discount on merch and food, not alcohol merch and food, which is why we're there yeah, but like if they were to discount your alcohol, they would be kicking out way more people for drinking excessively. And like they are cracking down and like you know how, when you go to a bar, certain beers are like higher abv, are served in smaller glasses, so they started doing that they didn't used to do that like every beer would come in the same size yellow cup, no matter how high percentage they saw people get yeah now they've changed it and I was like, well, that's normal.
Speaker 2:Like I, I'm not really upset about that, because they do that anywhere, anywhere so I'm like they do that with anything with a high abv, but certain people are pissed. But I'm like, at the end of the day it's a children's park. Let's not be too, too degenerate it's not degenerate.
Speaker 1:It's not gremlin land. It's not gremlin land. You're like I'm shocked that they didn't put up with my bullshit.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, so true story. Don't be getting too intoxicated at disney, because they will kick you out. They will ask for your pass. Don't give it to them, just say you bought a ticket for the day. Yeah, you're just a normal person don't even say you have the app, because they'll be like pull it up, yeah, because then you have to. If you're gonna book rides and stuff, you have to add your ticket to the app even if you're not a pass holder, so I just like bro, I just free ball it here like I don't know, I'm not from california.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like I don't do the app, I just like I wait in line like old school. I kick it old school. That that's my new thing. I'm never, if I ever, drink too much. I'm like you heard it here first, yeah. Don't give them your pass. Don't give them your ticket.
Speaker 1:Don't give them nothing.
Speaker 2:It's like the Pope Zip it. Yep, don't say nothing. Be your own lawyer.
Speaker 1:Yes, don't say nothing. The right to remain silent yes, and shut up. Exactly so.
Speaker 2:That's my gremlin story, and my friend, I guess, is an honorary gremlin by association we'll have to have her on at some point so that she can let us know exactly what she did. She did the same thing, yeah, yeah, I've never. She was in denial, though that's how drunk she was yeah, I've never gotten drunk at disneyland.
Speaker 1:I've had drinks at disneyland, but I've never. I've never almost gotten kicked out or been like like I remember the whole day. Yeah, I didn't, I didn't run away.
Speaker 2:It's much funner when you can remember the whole day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we just like, had some drinks and then went on a ride, went back and had drinks and went back to disneyland, because you can't get alcohol at disneyland, you gotta well, you can now, but it's only at the sit down places so like I haven't been in like a few years, yeah so like carnation cafe, riverbell terrace and there's oga's Cantina, the Star Wars bar, but you can't walk around with alcohol at Disneyland.
Speaker 2:Okay, at California Venture you can walk around with alcohol, at Disneyland it's only served at like sitting down restaurants. They don't do to-go's there, to-go cups.
Speaker 1:Good to know. Yeah, see, bring your own in a water bottle. Mm-hmm, people do that too.
Speaker 2:People do too. People do that too. They don't. They're not allowed to check your hydro flask or anything interesting.
Speaker 1:They're not allowed. I'm over here trying to like find ways to bring in alcohol. Don't do that, guys. Don't do it. Don't do it.
Speaker 2:No, yeah, they're not allowed to open your hydro flask and like smell it or anything. You're just not allowed to bring glass into the park and things like so they'll check your containers, but they won't open the containers good to know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for next time. For next time, yes, gremlin advice, gremlin advice. Yes, well, I think that's the end of the episode. Yeah, that was not as scary as I thought it was gonna be. Yay, so okay. So your socials, okay.
Speaker 2:So my at my at is the best at you'll ever hear in your life. It's at slut. Who won't fuck you? Yes, on instagram. Yeah, do we do tiktok yes, I think.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my tiktok's the same at slut, who won't fuck you?
Speaker 2:yes, on instagram yeah, do we do tiktok? Yes, I think. Yeah, my tiktok's the same at slut, who won't fuck you? I'm not tiktok savvy, so spare with me. I still have to read all your tiktoks that you sent.
Speaker 1:I've sent you like not okay I don't send you a spiral, I don't send you as many as I do on instagram, just because I know you're not like tiktok, aware yeah, I'm not.
Speaker 2:I was aware, but it's gotten too complicated just look at the video, just click it.
Speaker 1:Just click it, look at it. I'll try. I'll try for you. I'll try it, just watch it and then slide to the next on tiktok, that's like who will?
Speaker 2:fuck you on instagram I'm not on twitter or x, whatever the fuck it's called now. Those are my only two socials. You, you can find me there anytime.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes yes, and then follow the podcast. It's Emily to Grammarly Pod on Instagram and TikTok Yay, we're going to have the drinks that we made today. I'll have the recipe there for you Recipe there and we're going to have clips from this and behind the scenes. And, yeah, that's the podcast I loved it.
Speaker 2:I really loved it. We hope you loved it. I had a great time being your guest. Thank you so much. And then you're coming back next week.
Speaker 1:Yes, we're going to do a brand new one and see what topics we come up with then. By then we will have watched White Lotus and we can report back about what we saw there. Yes, for science, I need to know.
Speaker 2:What's going on? Is it the girth or the length, or is it both?
Speaker 1:What kind of?
Speaker 2:wand does he have? What is Lucius Malfoy working with?
Speaker 1:I'm excited, I know. Alright cheers, alright cheers, thank you. Thank you for joining and toodles Goodnight, goodnight.