Emily to Gremily
A podcast about the stories that start out normal and spiral into something unforgettable. Hosted by Emily Hogan, Emily to Gremily blends humor, honesty, and a touch of chaos through solo episodes and guest features. Expect cocktails, unfiltered “gremlin" stories, pop culture hot takes, and internet obsessions.
Subscribe for new episodes every Tuesday, and follow along on Instagram and TikTok @EmilytoGremilyPod for episode updates, cocktail recipes, and behind-the-scenes extras.
Make sure to email us your insane gremlin stories to EMILYTOGREMILYPOD@GMAIL.COM and they will be featured on future episodes.
Emily to Gremily
I Got the Tingles: Finding Balance in Chaos
Life's transitions often serve as powerful reflections of our inner evolution. Just as an old car eventually stops serving our needs, sometimes our habits, mindsets, and life paths require upgrading to match who we're becoming. This conversation, with returning guest Britt, explores what happens when we recognize it's time for change and find the courage to pursue a new direction.
We journey through the challenging yet rewarding path of studying Traditional Chinese Medicine, acupuncture, and herbology. The conversation reveals the immense complexity behind these ancient healing arts, from mastering hundreds of acupuncture points to understanding over 300 different herbs with their unique properties and interactions. This education isn't just academic; it represents a fundamental shift in how we understand wellness and balance.
The heart of our discussion centers on breathwork and sound healing as powerful modalities for reconnecting with ourselves. Unlike approaches that require verbal processing, breathwork offers a direct pathway into the body's wisdom and emotional landscape.
Perhaps most compelling is the recognition that true healing and growth require authenticity. As Britt shares, "You can only meet people as far as you've met yourself." This wisdom reminds us that our capacity to connect with others, whether as healers or simply as humans, depends on how deeply we've done our own inner work. It's an invitation to embrace all aspects of who we are, the light and the shadow, rather than compartmentalizing ourselves into boxes that feel acceptable but incomplete.
Follow along on Instagram and TikTok @emilytogremilypod and watch full episodes on YouTube.
Want to share a gremlin story to be featured on a future episode? Email us at EMILYTOGREMILYPOD@GMAIL.COM (and let us know if you'd like to remain anonymous).
cheers with our waters today, but we're back at episode six and we're back with it is six. Oh wow, you were episode five last week, now you're episode six this week welcome back. Welcome back anything new, exciting happened within the last week loads. That's for me you got a new car yeah, that's exciting.
Speaker 2:That was I was gonna keep that. Why, I don't know. I just felt like I wanted to enjoy, just like I don't know well, you think it's a jinx. No, not that, it's just more. I don't know why I was thinking of that. I just wasn't like at the top of my list to like, share.
Speaker 1:It was just more of like okay, what do you want to share?
Speaker 2:but nothing else has happened. Well, that's why I talked about the car. Good god, I was like wait a second, like nothing else has happened. I did get a new car. If you know me, you know it has been time for a new car, my safety is now back yeah, the other car was like falling apart.
Speaker 1:She was gonna start like fred, fred Flintstoning the car to and from school. It was a desperate need To be fair. It was a nine-year car. Yeah, she's had it for a long time.
Speaker 2:It's been through a lot.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Wild irresponsible times. You know the story where I'm effortlessly backing up While opening a bottle of vodka yeah, we don't do that anymore. Backing up while opening a bottle of vodka yeah, we don't do that anymore. So this car is symbolic of, like, just new ventures and a new era of me, where I was like my old car didn't quite fit that um, aside from the fact that it was like becoming dangerous to drive yeah, yeah so I I feel like I am meant to have a new car right now.
Speaker 2:Like I just it fits. It's like more fitting, I'm just like I feel better and I know material things aren't supposed to, like you know, do anything to your like self-worth of how you think yourself, like think about yourself, but like I feel good driving my new car. Like, yes, like I'm, you know, I'm able to drive to school without worry. I've got all these like new safety features, which is great, you know. It just feels like it was time for me to enter this new phase without having any like old lingering energies from myself and others who have been in my car you know.
Speaker 1:So yeah, and that car got it, got you home on many a questionable night, but yeah, she also. You could see the, the psyche that was you at one point, you know what?
Speaker 2:okay, so when I first went to, this has nothing to do with what the episode is talking about, but oh yeah.
Speaker 1:No, at this point we're just vamping at the top.
Speaker 2:Yeah so when I had gone to peru ayahuasca experience the first ceremony, I wasn't really dropping into it because I was kind of like yo, what's up, like you know, yeah. But like the shaman came up to me and he like one of the first things that he said was like you need to be careful driving your car. And earlier before I went to I went in last July, before that I saw three cars literally in flames, on fire on the side of the freeway and I was like okay, that's not common, like that, just like not in flames.
Speaker 2:No, like that no literally like in flames engulfed a ball of yeah, and I was just like, oh my god, and meanwhile, like my car, like there's, there's things going, yeah, so for to see that, and then to have someone tell me like you need to be careful driving your car which I, I know, you know I was just like, oh my gosh, like that's, like I'm a little bit more like scared to drive my car. And then when I came back, I also saw, I think, like one or two more cars literally in flames and they're on different freeways too. It wasn't like on the same freeway in the same spot. Every time it it was in different spots, which is scary. And like my car got to the point to where, like it needed so much work done, to where like it just wasn't worth.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you were going to pay more money to fix it than the car was worth.
Speaker 2:And like it was literally like stopping on the freeway and I had to put it in park, turn the car off, turn it on and like the girl.
Speaker 1:I have anxiety just thinking about it. I can't imagine being in the car and being like hold on, we got to put it in park.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, it's because there was so much work and like with the oil pan there was a crack and stuff like that. So me that was like, instead of the, like the little engine light or the when you need to change your oil. Like as soon as it started doing that, I'm like, okay, it's time to get my oil changed. And so I had a girlfriend pick me up from the airport and it did that thing where, like it does charging ship malfunction and stopped and she's like girl, what the? And I didn't tell her because I didn't.
Speaker 1:Oh my god I feel, like your check, it was got to the point where, like your check engine light wouldn't have gone on because like that too was like out of commission, like yeah, and the whole thing was just like rickety.
Speaker 2:It was scary girl like I was literally like playing roulette with my life, like that would have been a final destination car. No, literally. And I'm like, okay, it was time and I had to just be smart about it, because you know, yeah, I just had to be smart and the right deal came, yeah her last deal that she got in a pinch was horrific.
Speaker 1:We won't bore people.
Speaker 2:We're not. We're not doing that, but it was um.
Speaker 1:It was scary when she told me that I, like, clutched my pearls. I was like you were doing what, you paid what but now, yeah, we got this.
Speaker 2:one feels good. Yeah, new car, new vibes, new deal, we're good. And now nobody will recognize me because they don't know what the fuck I'm driving. There you go.
Speaker 1:They're not going to see this lemon coming at them, being like there's Brit, no, there's literally.
Speaker 2:Well, you could always tell because, yes, there was a bunch of RAV4s around, but not like mine, because I had ding scrapes and everything she parts of the car every single side of the car, like, had character.
Speaker 1:Yes, she lived she lived many lives and now your new car symbolizes your new um, your new found. What path in life.
Speaker 2:I guess, yeah, you know, because I mean you have a car for about a decade and probably a little bit more, depending like yeah, depending on like how good you take care of it and whatnot. So I feel like my past car like fit that decade, like I grew up with it and like it was a little sad giving it away, but I was like I need to get the fuck out, you know, but we I appreciate you.
Speaker 2:I thank you, but like thank you for giving me to and yeah to where now I'm in such a different place in my life, to where, like, I don't I mean I don't drink, I don't do anything like that, so I'm not living reckless and doing all kinds of things and like I'm just in a different space now, to where now, for the next decade of my life, I can have a different right. You know, ride or die.
Speaker 1:I think that's a good transition into what we're going to be talking about for this episode actually yeah, so your new path and your new transition is you've been in school for how many years? Oh, I started in september of 2022 okay, yeah, and so she's now in a doctorate program for acupuncture and chinese herbal medicine.
Speaker 2:It is quite a mouthful, I didn't want to say it incorrectly so I pawned it off to her.
Speaker 1:Okay, so that is what you've been focusing on. That's kind of what got you to the point where you're at now with your sobriety and what you've been, you know, leaning towards, just, you know, clear-headed. So, yeah, balance, balance. Yeah. What made you want to go into the field to begin with?
Speaker 2:I think I was at a point in my life where you know, like you, just you're doing one thing for so long and you know that you're kind of meant for much more, but you have no idea what the fuck that is. Yeah. Or you have like some kind of inkling but, like you know, if you're still in old habits and you haven't really done the growth yet, you'd still. You have like a sense of it but you don't know. Yeah, or you don't feel confident in that. So it might just be like a subtle whisper in the back of your mind but you don't really move forward with it because you're like you just don't believe in yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or you're just fearful you know, you're just a little stagnant.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly. So I think I knew I I mean, I've always helped people, but I think, whenever I was reaching the point of thinking about going to school and, mind you, I've struggled with school my entire life so the fact that I keep like going back to school for shit is beyond me. I wanted to just do something different I think in 2020,.
Speaker 2:I did like a medical billing type thing because I was like oh yeah, I could do this. But it wasn't like oh, I want could do this. But it wasn't like oh, I want to do this, I love doing this. It's like I can do this and it will make money, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's a career, but not a passion.
Speaker 2:I was bored out of my damn mind. I do not belong in a stationary office, I just so. And then I was on a hike with a girlfriend and we were sharing, just like wellness, trips, tips, not trips, tips and trips. And she mentioned that she had gotten acupuncture. And then I didn't really know what that was. I might have heard of acupuncture, I might have not. Either way, I wasn't familiar with it. And so I went, like anyone does when they don't know something you just like.
Speaker 2:Google, you know you're like, let's see what this is about, and the fact that it was really speaking like more holistically and because I know that there are plenty of like.
Speaker 2:I deal with mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and I've taken antidepressants before and I didn't like them. You know it was great when it stopped making me cry for the reasons that I was crying, but then I wasn't anything, wasn't happy, I was just that and I was like, well, that's, I would rather, honestly, I would rather cry more, because then that means like I'm here, I'm feeling yeah and so um and part of my statement of motivation was speaking to that is the fact that, like, we like to help someone holistically and there's so many things that maybe acupuncture can't like full on treat but it can help either be an adjacent treatment or just help mitigate, like the symptoms that you're dealing with. But for mental health it's huge and I wanted something that I just more holistic and like natural. I didn't want to rely on a pill to make me feel like I was okay, especially whenever there are a number of things that I could do before I get to that point.
Speaker 2:Sometimes it's necessary and that's fine or whatever route you choose, but I just knew that I wanted something more holistic that dealt with the person as they are whole, versus like let's just slap a bandaid on it and kind of you know, and then let's give you some more symptoms on top of that. So then you have to come back and then let's give you some. You know, it's just like this, never ending thing.
Speaker 2:And so I knew, I mean, kind of selfishly, I was kind of like well, I would like to implement this into my own life, because I knew that I wanted to, you know, develop better eating habits, just better lifestyle habits, and just be able to take ownership of my own life by being, I keep saying, holistic but more natural in a way, yeah, and then if I could help people along the way find themselves in that path too, that is a bonus as well too.
Speaker 2:So it was kind of like, yeah, for the most part, I want to implement this in my life. But also, too, if I'm going, for the most part, you know, I want to implement this in my life, but also, too, if I'm going to be a practitioner, I'd want to implement that in my life, because if I'm going to help someone, I want them to know that they can trust me, that I'm not just like, yeah, I mean I wouldn't do this myself, but you should do it, right. No, yeah, and so that's where that was um. And then I looked it up and I was something that I thought I could do um, I can do it definitely.
Speaker 1:I mean, I knew it was going to be hard, but, like the the I don't think you were prepared for, like I said, I've always struggled with school.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I've always struggled with school. I don't have an undergrad. I think I just wrote a really good statement of motivation and like that's really what got me in right. Um, because I'm really good with speaking from my heart and making things. You know, you wrap it with yeah, and so that was, um, my beginning journey with that. And then I they start you out at like 17 to 24 units and that's like that's a lot of classes.
Speaker 1:Like per semester, per term, oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the whole program is technically three years and four months, okay, and so I did that for four terms and then, through each of my terms, I've actually experienced some form of like a hardship or significant loss, so like everything, like something like huge, a significant loss, so like everything like something like huge.
Speaker 2:There was something each term um and I finally, in 2023, I finally um made the decision to like I'm not, I can't do this, like it's not. I don't think anything is worth stressing over your job, your relationship, schooling or anything. If there's something that you can do to help kind of balance it out, do it, because nothing is worth being to what finished by a certain time. Like what?
Speaker 1:what is that?
Speaker 2:like you're racing to the finish line and they teach you that stress is like the number one killer it's like a silent. So it's like help me make it make sense.
Speaker 2:Yeah, essentially, and if I'm someone that I can choose my schedule, like yes, there's recommendations based upon, like you know, the curriculum, but if I have a say of whether or not I take this many classes or not, well then I'm gonna curate my schedule to where I can help mitigate some of that stress right because if I'm not doing that and I'm stressed out and I'm not being able to tend to myself, can't show up at work because I'm stressed out, can't show up at school because I'm stressed about work, so it's like all these little things like buckets spilling into other buckets and it's just like a cycle and it's a mess.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, and ultimately, if you can do something about your situation and you choose not to shut the fuck up, you know, yes, complaining happens. I catch myself complaining here and there, but it's just like one of those things where it's like well, you chose this, so, and sometimes there are circumstances as to why you have to choose that, so, like, I'm not trying to like, you know it's yeah, not a lot of people have like flexibility exactly, um, and, but just me.
Speaker 2:I can't focus trying to do that many classes. Like I said, I've struggled with school, I struggle with exams. I like I have a really hard time with school, and I don't like I fail a lot of my exams, right, um. Never failed classes, though, but so if I can do something that's going to help me, then I'm going to do that, and I didn't want my mental health to be affected because I'm trying to keep up with everyone else who can take on a heavy load like that, right?
Speaker 1:So you, the way you fixed that was you took less credits per term. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I, literally I dropped like half to where I don't take more than four classes. If that a term, because that's just something that has been working. For me a term, because that's just something that has been working for me, and I just don't see the point in doing more.
Speaker 1:You'd rather take your time getting to your destination than racing there and being not enjoying the process.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean either way, I'm still having a hard time, but to say that, like I just don't, you know, that is what worked, worked for me, and so that's the way that I found balance in my life.
Speaker 2:Some people can find balance by having all of the classes, doing all of the things, and that's how they thrive right that's just what I figured out for myself, and so I'm like okay, well, if I'm gonna be stressed out and all these things and I'm gonna complain along the way, then I need to do something about it to help me balance out. So therefore, I can shut the fuck up about it.
Speaker 1:Right, there you go, and so what school do you go to?
Speaker 2:I go to Southern California University of Health Sciences in Whittier.
Speaker 1:Okay, and then what made you choose that school over? I don't know.
Speaker 2:I only know of one other school, actually honestly, I just like typed in like when I was looking up information, they got real good marketing. Oh, they sucked you in. No, yeah, no, it popped in and then I was. You know, it looked good to me and I also, um, I might have seen the school that was in Santa Monica.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the one I know of?
Speaker 2:yeah, honestly I don't know. I think that one just caught my eye and I started like reading it and stuff like that.
Speaker 1:And you liked their reviews.
Speaker 2:It could have been the fact that I think I don't know if Santa Monica offers a doctorate program. I think at the time when I was looking at it, it was the only one that had the level of doctorate.
Speaker 1:Oh okay, not that I was like actually going for that but like if it's only extended more time to get there, like yeah, why not? Okay, so, uh, what have been like your favorite classes that you've taken? I know you say they're all hard and you want to rip your hair out, but I mean you have to have like a favorite class or I do.
Speaker 2:I really enjoy the acupuncture based class.
Speaker 2:Okay, shocker which I hope you do because that's your career, yeah no more so about learning about the points, because we all have channel systems and meridians and each channel or organ has a specific number of points, depending on you know and whatnot, and we have special categories of points. And I think it's more so figuring out number patterns that like help with that, so I'm able to figure out, like certain prescriptions based on like the symptomology, based on knowing what, what as an individual point, what does that do? Okay, and then therefore, I can kind of weed it out and like the clinical entry exam, which took me a while to pass, because there's six sections in the written and then there's a whole other practical part Acupuncture was the only one I passed every single time okay, yeah, so you feel confident, yeah no, and I like it.
Speaker 2:I like being able to help people with that, because I also tutor as well too. It just made sense to me, and there's a whole lot that I don't know and there's a billion different ways to approach it, but that's been a subject that I feel very confident in and that I really enjoy, as well as theory, however. Theory is a lot. It's a little bit more complex, so, but I do like the way that you can apply theory to other things and like the you use. It's like layering, so you use theory to get into your diagnosis as well, too, and then that's how I can almost tell what someone's going on like with them, based on, like their face, because their different facial features, um, correspond to an organ. I can, when I'm feeling something, like if I'm eating something and I know it's doing something to me, I can tell by the way my tongue looks, by the way my tongue feels and the way, like what's going on in my mouth yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't want to open my mouth yeah least favorite subject or not.
Speaker 2:The fact that it's the least favorite like the most difficult, most challenging, yeah would say is herbology. Okay, like that was the section that really like held me back from entering in clinic because I had a really hard time when you learn in herbology.
Speaker 1:It sounds like a harry potter. Wait, that is a Harry Potter class?
Speaker 2:Literally no, if you would hear, like the Latin names as well. Okay, so we have over 300 different individual herbs. Oh God, there's categories, like you know release exterior, wind, cold, and so those herbs are going to be more hot in nature, and then you have the opposite of that category and then you have clear heat, and then you'll have like a main category and then, depending on it, like subsections of that category and they all belong to that. They all go into different channels, like different organs. They have different presentations and, like it's really insane, it sounds complicated.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And on top of that, we learned them in their opinion, which is their chinese name.
Speaker 2:So you're not learning the english name and, to be fair, I there are some to where, like, I actually do better with pinion name, to where someone has. I know people that have knowledge of like english name or like latin name of herbs and they have a really hard time with pinion because I'm opposite to where, like I can recognize an herb by its pinion name but, like if you were to tell me, like if that I wouldn't know it by the english name okay, you know, but I know what.
Speaker 2:It is just not correlated, okay, okay, yeah. So that's really difficult. And then there's herbal formulas, so that's whenever you put a bunch of herbs together, depending on yeah to make the formula and that depends.
Speaker 1:Some only have like four medicinal purposes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, some only have like four, uh, single herbs in them. Some have like up to 12. Oh my gosh. There's also contraindications, like certain herbs that you wouldn't use with this because it like cancels out the effect or there's the opposite of that, to where you could actually make something worse, right, um? And there's also contraindications with like points and stuff too. But, um, with herbs there's also downward draining herbs, so you wouldn't want to prescribe that to someone who's pregnant because you might induce. Same with um. There are certain points that are contraindicated because they're blood moving and you wouldn't want to like induce anything that could potentially happen there too. But yeah, herbology is definitely the most difficult it's like you're like a pharmacist.
Speaker 1:This drug can interact with this one.
Speaker 2:It's so interesting. It's so interesting to be able to, you know, cook with herbs and like use that like I don't think I've ever touched like the traditional, like medicine cabinet someone has.
Speaker 1:Since I've been sick I've only taken herbs or like so you did give me kind of a stink eye when I said I was going to go take an ibuprofen. Yeah, you gave me like this like weird little look and I'm like oh bitch, I don't got herbs here, I need my ibuprofen.
Speaker 2:I'm wildly fascinated by herbology. However, it is so difficult Like and I struggle, it's just a lot um. So it's been like I'm exhausted right now you're tired talking about it.
Speaker 1:That's been your most challenging class.
Speaker 2:Yeah, would you say it's like, also like your least favorite, because you said it's interesting I wouldn't say it's my least favorite, or maybe there is resistance to it because I know what it entails to pass yeah.
Speaker 1:I feel like you're about to cry right now.
Speaker 2:No, I'm like no just thinking about that, I was like I don't even know how to explain this.
Speaker 1:Do you have a class that's been like? It's not that it's hard, it's just like boring.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I couldn't even tell you because it's so fucking boring, it's out of my mind.
Speaker 1:It was like a filler class almost.
Speaker 2:There's classes. Yeah, that they have.
Speaker 1:There's asynchronous classes and it's just busy work to where?
Speaker 2:it's like why, just for the credit? Yeah, okay, it's annoying, it's just. I mean I have resistance towards school anyways, but doing something because I know it's just busy work. There's sometimes where the assignment may not even and this is for all subjects, but the assignment may not be even hard like that hard, but I'm like I don't want to do this it's like, I'm like annoyed. I'm like I don't want to do this and that 3 am. I'm like fuck, I gotta do this.
Speaker 1:It's like taking a class that you don't need, like for your major, but you need it for, like your general education, kind of thing. Yeah, and I'm just like I'm not going to use it in my life, but I have to take it just because it's a requirement.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's. That's like it's not your jam, no, and like the whole, like education system is really it's like these are the hoops you need to jump through to get where you need to go, and obviously I would feel like anybody who wants to be an acupuncturist. Yes, you need school.
Speaker 1:Yeah, don't just start sticking people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, you definitely need school. However, I do think better systems could be in place.
Speaker 1:Well, hey, once you graduate and you got your practice up and running and all that, maybe you can over overhaul the entire system maybe, but you're like I don't know that even sounds tiring too. I need a nap. Speaking of speaking of overhauling the whole education system, your plan after school is to become an acupuncturist yeah okay, yeah and then, but until then, what are you focusing on now?
Speaker 2:now. Now I've actually, last October, I participated or enrolled in, I don't know I did a breathwork practice internship, so I attended a series of lessons and did a series of practicums, one which we did today, yes, so she's starting her own business. She's getting the groundwork set up, yeah we're still on the floor, but we finally got her back on instagram yes, it's very exciting because I was like you have to market yourself.
Speaker 1:You can't just rely on tiktok. You gotta rely on tiktok, girl.
Speaker 2:Yeah tiktok is hard.
Speaker 1:We haven't figured it out yet but I'm like you can't just, you know, use tiktok. You gotta market yourself on instagram, so you're doing a whole breath work yeah, so I've taken some time to finish up my practicums.
Speaker 2:It was kind of hard to juggle between end of term classes as well as, like I just got in my own way, like I was fearful, running a bunch of stories in my head, so it's taken me a bit to, you know, just do it. Um, and so, with the completion of my breath work, I've started creating my website. It will be out I want to say soon, but soon could be working on it. I'm working on it, um, and so I've decided to create a social media presence for my business to just promote the fact that I can be your guide in a breathwork journey. I've also been leaning into the integration of sound, and so I'm expanding my musical collection.
Speaker 2:I've got a good bunch right now, but, you know, there's so many things that I want to include and I also intertwine the two when I do my breathwork sessions. So, within what I can do now, as I'm still a student of acupuncture, I want to start creating a presence so that way people maybe can have like a little break on their doom scrolling, you know, and just create like a, like a place to pause. You know, just you know, take a moment. Have you taken a little breath today, and so I've curated like a five-part series that I won't speak too much about, because then you know if you're like, oh, that's.
Speaker 1:And yeah, we're only looking for positivity, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So I've created a five part series to where I will start integrating a variety of my different instruments and I will be making different types of videos and I will be whispering some words. So if you're into the whispering, ASMR yeah, tune in. I've got something planned and in the works with that and then hopefully I'll be able to reach people, so then I can help them. Recenter, the point of breathwork.
Speaker 1:That was my next question. What is breathwork? What?
Speaker 2:is the point. Yeah, so oftentimes we can become all kinds of discombobulated. We are just unbalanced. Um, in a perfect world we'd like to be balanced between our mind, body, soul, spirit and sometimes the demands of just life in general, the demands of, you know, being a parent, if you're a parent, the demands of a job or anything that can cause you to just not be at home with yourself, whether it's's trauma, addictions, you know there's a whole bag of that that can cause us to not be in alignment with ourselves.
Speaker 2:And breathwork is really a chance to build that bridge back to ourselves, to where we can find balance within us, and that's also without having to. You know, if you're someone that doesn't necessarily like to speak about what you're going through, I don't have to speak to you. This might be a little bit invasive, but I get into your body To get out of your mind. We must go into our body. Breath work is a chance to where I can guide you, give you the cues to breathing. You're the one that's going in and doing the work and so whatever comes up for you, that's what you'll work through, and you didn't need to sit and have an hour-long conversation to that, but you should probably still see your therapist now that she's taking over for a therapist.
Speaker 1:She's just, you know, it's a different type of you know way to center yourself.
Speaker 2:I'm really fascinated by somatic practices because our bodies hold on to so much information and trauma and emotions, and that is just wildly fascinating to me that I can do either a series of movements, I can do breath work, I can do sound healing, and that will tap into something that I didn't even know needed to be worked on or addressed and that will allow me to have a release that I didn't even know needed to be worked on or addressed and that will allow me to have like a release that I didn't even know was possible, like you can get certain massages and then you might end up having like an emotional release, and that is so interesting to me. I'm just like, really fascinated by that. So the fact that I can intertwine different modalities will allow me to create that safe space for someone and don't I'm not saying like you can't speak to me, I want to follow up with you and I want to know how I can help you, like in the time after your sessions as well too. So in the creation of my website, I'm getting you know the final drafts ready and the services I'll be providing.
Speaker 2:Jesus Christ, I need to take a breath. No, um, I will be having breathwork sessions and those are typically about an hour. I will have sound healing sessions if you want something, because sometimes we need something different. You know, breathwork is a little bit more intensive and you're more locked in and sometimes you just want to lay there and that's what's where sound healing can come in. You know it depends on, like, what you need, so I want to be able to curate services that can meet you where you're at.
Speaker 1:So it's kind of like not customized for each person, but kind of customized in a way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, in a way, um, and certain things could be a little bit tailored depending on you know how that goes, um, and then I'll also be offering, uh, like one-on-one attunement sessions, which is basically my way of saying, like one-on-one, like alignment and like coaching, for even if you're thinking about breathwork or sound healing, whether or not you don't even want any of those services, you, you just want that, like that is also something I'll be offering. What is that exactly? It's where, like, anyone can come talk to me, like if people have questions or so kind of like a consultation.
Speaker 2:No, not a consultation. I'll have a consult as well too, but like the one on one, attunement sessions are more of like a coaching type deal. Attunement sessions are more of like a coaching type deal, you know, if someone wants to maybe have some guidance on sobriety, or if somebody is. You know any number of things. I feel like I'm pretty well versed in a lot, considering the things that I've endured throughout my life and overcome, and I'm still learning, I'm still evolving, I'm still shedding a bunch of layers. I do not have it all figured out, but just maybe, you know, maybe I can be a sounding board for someone else that is possibly going through. Fuck off.
Speaker 1:I was just wondering the way you said that. I don't have it figured out.
Speaker 2:I don't because I realized that maybe the way that I'm sounding it could be like oh, this person knows it all.
Speaker 1:And I mean I think if anyone thinks anyone has it all, like to think someone has it all figured out is just very naive of yeah, nobody has anything figured out, because I was like listening to our um, the last episode and I was just like, oh man, like kind of just in my head about things.
Speaker 2:So like I'm just like I don't want to sound a certain way, but I was just like, oh man, I made it seem like sobriety was easy and I was like, oh fuck, I didn't mean it. I was like you know, I was like, no, you know, just things like that. So I just want to make sure that I'm clear and the fact that, like, I'm not here to be, like, I'm superior to you because I've gone through this and I kind of know you're just able to offer you own.
Speaker 1:It's more like an experience.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's just me like I understand, like may not understand completely, depending on what you have gone through and I don't want to take away from your experiences and your feelings but, like I'm understand, I am with you. We are the same and if I can help you and provide any sort of you know, I don't even know what the word I'm looking for is right now.
Speaker 2:You know just just anything and like, sometimes, like we don't even feel secure with ourselves. And I could say now, sitting where I'm at especially after taking the whole year off, the social media and the things that I've, you know, work through, I am more sure of myself today, sitting here right now, than I have ever been in my life and I'm still learning things about myself and there are still things where I'm like, oh, okay, now I get it. So I just want to be a relatable like safety space for people if they don't have that within themselves, and I don't want to be a dependent crunch more. So, like, let me help you be able to do things for yourself so you can take ownership and who you are and who you want to be and the things that you want to overcome, because everyone has the innate like intelligence within themselves to be whoever they want to be.
Speaker 2:But sometimes there's a bunch of shit in the way yeah like I can tell you right now that in 2019, like I probably didn't think this shit was possible, right, and I didn't see things the way that I see them now yeah, and it's been this ongoing thing Even last year is widely different from where things are right now, yeah, and so I just want to be that reminder for people that, like, just keep going. It can be hard, I'm still going to cry about things and have feel all kinds of different things, but the thing is I'll always remember that this will pass. This it's like things are temporary. So and that's another thing I've learned from school is the duality of life.
Speaker 2:I think I used to put myself into different boxes compared to, like, who I was with. You know, if I was in a relationship, I would try to put myself in this box. If I was over here, I'd be in this box. I'm the whole fucking box, I'm everything in that box. I am the light, I am the dark, I am everything, and I don't want to shy away from those aspects of my life, because we should be everything, that who we are, and sometimes I'm light, sometimes I'm not, you know, yeah, and so, and I think sometimes we get into this like false positivity of like we need to always be thinking this way.
Speaker 2:We need to always be thinking that way and no, if you're not thinking that that way, allow yourself to be and feel and think however you want to feel that way. That's not going to take away anything that's good coming to you, that doesn't make you a bad person or anything like that. However, there's a balance to that. So don't stay in that shit too long, you know, but also just be authentic with yourself. You can't have authentic relationships with anyone if you don't meet yourself authentically first. So you can only meet people as far as you've met yourself, and that sounds so fucking cliche but it's fucking true.
Speaker 1:It's true you get a lot of um cliches nowadays, but I mean it's because they're kind of technically true yeah.
Speaker 2:Waste of life there you go.
Speaker 1:So earlier today, you and I did a breathwork session and you had asked me what are you hoping to gain from this? Nothing, oh no, I didn't say that she's giving.
Speaker 2:Anna Delvey nothing.
Speaker 1:I didn't say that. I said actually I don't know because I don't really know what we're about to do. Yeah, I should. Actually I don't know because I don't really know what we're about to do. Yeah, I was. I should have maybe Googled it or looked it up beforehand.
Speaker 2:That's not necessary, but.
Speaker 1:I was like I don't know. I figured you would just tell me what to do, which you did, so yeah, so what exactly did we do? It was the breath work and the sound healing, yeah.
Speaker 2:I integrate sound A the sound healing. Yeah, I integrate sound. A lot of people and a lot of practitioners also integrate sound as well too. It's not like I'm you know doing, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I integrate sound because it allows me to stay active and present, Whereas I think also I've done a lot of sessions online and I'm not tech savvy, so trying to, you know, play music as well as that, like I don't know, it just seemed more natural to me to play instruments, and instruments I mean like sound bowls, chimes Um yeah, I've got like a little like wave drum, um, and chimes like a different, a different set of chimes.
Speaker 1:Cause like they're like different frequencies and pitches and my cat's freaked out my cat's scram like.
Speaker 2:They're like. Oh like. I don't even like I pick up the mallet before I. The gong was way too heavy for me to like oh yeah, she didn't bring everything today yeah, I have a gong, I love it.
Speaker 2:Um you'll see them in her videos yes, um and so, yeah, I like to integrate sound because it allows me to stay present and aware and like inclusive, so I'm not just like standing there looking at you, I like to walk around and move and um, and it helps me cause I have a hard time, like you know. I just have a hard time sitting still.
Speaker 2:Yeah exactly so it just allows me to just be more present in that. So, um, typically, if I were at home and we were doing the first round, cause, um, the first round is in and out through your mouth and that's a little bit faster tempo, and that's more about. It's intentionally supposed to ramp up your nervous system.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I didn't like it. Yeah, I was. She's breathing really slowly. Yeah, I was just like I don't I'm not enjoying this right now like it did it does make you feel a little like more anxious almost a little bit, especially if you've never done it as well too.
Speaker 2:So there's that factor as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she was like like tell, like doing, telling me how to do it, and I was like I'm not doing that in my head. I was thinking, I was like I'm going at my pace. She said I could go at my pace.
Speaker 2:No, exactly, and I like to let people know that, like, even if I'm giving you cues and that's a bit faster than you would like to go you are in control. You breathe at your own tempo because this is your journey and you need to feel comfortable, otherwise you're not gonna drop into whatever you're feeling yeah typically I'll play more of the gong in that round.
Speaker 1:Okay, oh, because it's, yeah, it just like helps. Okay, yeah, my whole hand is all Makes you a little more anxious.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a little bit. I love it, yeah. And then the more softer frequencies all kind of you know go to like the second rounds, when we're focused more on our exhale, like in through the nose and out through the mouth, because that's our more grounding, calming back to ourselves. I like that one. Yeah, this time I kind of just intertwined everything together because I didn't have that, like you know, right, that also that big gong.
Speaker 2:Yeah, our method was just more of a circular breathing. We'll do three rounds of in through the mouth, out through the mouth, and then we'll do three rounds in through the nose and out through the mouth, with a focus on your exhale, and there will be a series of breath holds in between each round for you to settle in. The first round is about clearing, and that's why it feels a little bit more intense. I cannot remember at the top of my head right now, but there is a scientific factor as to why you would feel like those more tingly feelings at the top of my head right now but there is a scientific factor as to why you would feel like those more tingly feelings.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh yeah, that's so. She did warn me that I was gonna like my hands could cramp up or I could get like the like tingly fingers or toes. So I was aware of that. But then, when everything started tingling, I was like, oh, like I got the tingles yeah, and that could be.
Speaker 2:you know, it varies from person to person. It also varies on the tempo in which you're breathing as to, maybe, how intense those physiological responses can be, and that's why I like to let my clients know that they are in control. So if they don't like that, I invite them to settle into that, because I'm like, ooh, it's working.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she was like I get joy to know that it's tingling. I'm like, oh, you're kind of a freak.
Speaker 2:My hands have been like literally like cramped, like this before, and like I've let them be there because I'm like, yeah, it's working. But that's just you know that you can change that right. You can still participate in breath work, and it doesn't need to be that way. You can just slow down your breath, or if you want to get that way, you can just speed it back up, right?
Speaker 2:you know, you can go in and out, um, depending on what, more comfortable for you, and so I like to do a very thorough briefing before our session. So then, that way you can, because anytime somebody or I'm speaking from my experience, but anytime I would do something that I've never done before it's really hard for me to like be fully present in that, because I'm like worried, like what am I supposed to expect? So I want to be as thorough as possible and, granted, you still might go there, because if it is a new experience, and whether or not you've done breath work zero times or a thousand, each experience is different. You it might not be the same, you know it can go a billion different ways, but I like to let you know here are some of the common things that you might expect during this. So then, that way, when it, if it does arise, you could be like okay, right, this is normal.
Speaker 1:Like I can kind of you know into it?
Speaker 2:yeah, I can. I can continue to be present and focus on my breath and the cues and I'm not freaking out. Like what am I? You? Know what's happening you know, especially if you're like someone that like worries about like time, um, sometimes it's hard for me to drop into a session. Um, especially like when I've done them in the beginning of doing breath work, it's hard for me to drop in Cause I'm also like wondering. I'm like okay, like how long have I been breathing, like how?
Speaker 1:long have I been there? You know, I will say I was doing that in my head.
Speaker 2:Like, okay, wait, how long has it been? I don't know how long it's been. Yeah, and it's hard, and sometimes there is a little like I'm also in my head sometimes, because I'm like, are these landing? Like is is it working right? You know like it's. Like you know, is what I'm doing, you know working for her, and I don't know. And sometimes I'm like, oh crap. And then I'm like I don't want to speak too much, so I'm like, but then they'll be like dead silence and I'm just like crap like is that too much dead space or right enough?
Speaker 1:and I'm still trying to figure it out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I guess it'll come, you know, depending right, and that's another reason why I like playing instruments, because then, if I'm feeling that, then I can at least have the frequencies help you guide in to your breath as well too, which that feels nice.
Speaker 1:I really enjoyed the, the instruments and the sounds like yeah, you even like walked over me and you did like one of those like low frequency, like yeah yeah, yeah, like I liked it. And that was when the cat bolted oh yeah, my cat was sitting next to me and he was like chill and he really wasn't having an issue. She got close to him with that ball and he booked it I. It scared me because I was like trying to be in my moment yeah, and he jumped right on me and was like boom yeah, luckily.
Speaker 2:That was like in the beginning yeah, um, but then there was construction yeah, no, yeah, you heard everything around us and it's like, yeah, and I was like, oh man like and I'm getting nervous, because I also know her pretty well. So I'm like okay, like is this gonna completely take her out of this? So I tried to be like okay, like continue to focus on your breath like let's you know acknowledge that there are sounds around you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you did say that a few times, um, but I got in my head, I was freaking out, I was just no, yeah, you kept saying tune out the noise, focus on your breath.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I was like okay, yeah, and I don't know why I like as soon as like I'm doing session, like my voice changes. I'm not loud and obnoxious.
Speaker 1:She became very soft and subtle.
Speaker 2:It's giving phone operator yes, yeah I'm definitely not as high pitched um, it's very low yeah, she, she lowers, lowers the volume and the frequency yeah, and the pitch. So I'm glad I have that setting. Yeah, um, yeah, but for the most part it was good. It was my first like in person, so it was nice to be able to play around like how I would essentially do stuff, because normally I'm like on, you know, I do a lot of virtual so I just have like yeah, so I'll just have, like my little setup for your great hair and then I think that might be a little bit nervous because, like I'm in the chair and I'm like you know this, I got to, like, walk around right.
Speaker 2:I'm all like doing the chimes around you, yeah and so that felt nice. And then there was a few times to where the cats were intrigued by the noises and so they were making little trippy sounds. And then then they would like wander in the room and I'm like, oh, you better not jump.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I was like please don't jump on her, please don't jump on her.
Speaker 1:But they didn't, so we're good and it was like I told like when we were done with it, she was like okay, how do you feel? And I was like I feel tingly. I was like I have the tingles. And then when I went to stand up which I think I stood up a little too fast I was like whoa, I got a head rush, but it was like kind of not an out of body experience.
Speaker 1:It was just kind of like I felt like floaty and that's not really a proper term, but yeah, I just felt like I was like kind of floating there and it just felt like like. I just felt like like. I just felt like like I was at the beach almost, I think that's like it was nice to see.
Speaker 2:I need to like ask for consent before I'd be like, do you mind if I take photos, because it'd be so funny to see people's like initial facials.
Speaker 1:Like obviously I'm not going to Open their eyes.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, because like you look so like, really like don't know what to make of this. Yeah, and like the most and that's nice because I'm like yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the best thing I can equate it to is if, like, you're lying on the beach, like in the sun, listening to, like the waves and like the sounds of, like you know, the ocean and birds and whatnot, and then you like open your eyes, it's like kind of like that kind of a feeling. Yeah it's like what I can equate it to the most which is nice.
Speaker 2:I love that. I've even had people tell me that they've seen colors. They've drifted off into another like space okay um, but I've had people feel like release and like block any blockages that they've had in their body or, you know, if they've been working on getting through something they've felt released, and I've even had people um like scream and like let out aggression and just like be angry, which is another spectrum of something that you could possibly experience depending on what's going on, and then I've also had people giggle and laugh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, um, there's all kinds of different uh experiences that you will have, and so that's kind of the beauty of it, because you, you know, I can't tell you like, oh, this is what you know this is what you're gonna feel. Yeah, I can tell you, like you know more or less, like you know, potential feelings like with the cramping and the tinglingness and stuff like that. But however, like the, the dynamic of your journey is different every time.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:So, and that's what's really beautiful about it because all you have to do is just show up and be open, and as long as you're open, you'll. You'll go wherever you need to go, right, and so that's you know there we go, I think.
Speaker 1:I think that's a beautiful way to end it. All right. So, now that you are fully on social media, finally, what? Where can people find you on Instagram?
Speaker 2:You can find me on Instagram at BCHIFLOW BCFLOW.
Speaker 2:Those are my business handles and if you just want to follow me, you can go to follow her as a person. Yeah, you know I don't really care about that, but but you know, if you want to get more insight into who I am that's more um you can go to Instagram at Britannia B R I T T A N I A dot S A L-Z-A-R, and then TikTok is BSalz. Either one of them. I couldn't get those ones to match. Yeah, so those are my socials. And then on my business page in Instagram, my email is listed and it should be a clickable link to where you can email me if you have any questions, if you were thinking about sessions, or maybe just follow my page, because why not?
Speaker 1:and her website is coming soon.
Speaker 2:So then it is coming soon.
Speaker 1:You'll be able to see all the services listed um book appointments and sessions and whatnot. All that all that good stuff.
Speaker 2:I do virtual sessions. I'm open to doing like in-person sessions, but that will most mostly be for like group sessions, like if it's going to be like a group thing, to where maybe you're hosting an event or if you want to, you know, get a group of your girlfriends or do a session with your significant other, then I'm more than likely to do an in-person. But because I am busy with school and everything like that and I'm still figuring things out right now, virtually is kind of the best option for me. But I'm open, I'm still figuring it out. So just send me an email honestly.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just email her, she'll let you know what's going on. And then you can find myself and the podcast at emily2gremilypod on TikTok. And then you can find myself and the podcast at emily to gremlin pod on tiktok and instagram. Also, make sure to send in your gremlin stories to emily to gremlin pod at gmailcom. I don't know why saying that every time is always a challenge it is a mouthful, it's a mouthful.
Speaker 2:Oh, and before we forget, if you have any drinks that you would like to be made or seen on. Whenever she's doing a solo episode, send those in with your gremlin story. So then that way, depending you know, maybe if she picks a certain gremlin story, she picks a drink attached to it. Yeah, it's not a requirement, but that's just something fun that you might want to add idea and I was like that sounds fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, today obviously we're just doing water. I don't think I'm going to be doing the drinks for tiktok anymore. Um, we did one for the last episode and it was kind of a disaster because she was in frame completely but standing there smiling and I was half out of the frame. That one obviously didn't get posted because it's basically just one giant blooper, but that's okay yeah, so that's just something fun.
Speaker 2:If you want to see it, yeah, you know. Or if that drinks like reminds you of your gremlin story, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, on in yeah, send in your gremlin story with the drink that made you a gremlin, and then we'll see how long it takes for me to become a gremlin in that episode. It'll be a fun little experiment to see how fast I spiral. Oh man, well, that's it. Yeah, thanks for coming back. We'll cheers again with our water, which hopefully doesn't bring us bad luck, cheersies.
