Emily to Gremily
A podcast about the stories that start out normal and spiral into something unforgettable. Hosted by Emily Hogan, Emily to Gremily blends humor, honesty, and a touch of chaos through solo episodes and guest features. Expect cocktails, unfiltered “gremlin" stories, pop culture hot takes, and internet obsessions.
Subscribe for new episodes every Tuesday, and follow along on Instagram and TikTok @EmilytoGremilyPod for episode updates, cocktail recipes, and behind-the-scenes extras.
Make sure to email us your insane gremlin stories to EMILYTOGREMILYPOD@GMAIL.COM and they will be featured on future episodes.
Emily to Gremily
My Boyfriend Won't Show His Face But He'll Share Our Drunk Stories
Ever wonder what happens when you mix birthday celebrations, day drinking, and a reluctant podcast guest? The answer is pure entertainment. In this special episode, I finally convince my camera-shy boyfriend to join me behind the microphone as a birthday gift to myself.
As the RonRon juice flows we dive into the misadventures that have shaped our relationship. From our hurricane-diverted cruise ship vacation to the infamous Big Bear trip where his truck got stuck in ice and spawned his anxiety-induced catchphrase: "Don't laugh at me, I have anxiety!" Our travel stories reveal both the hilarity and depth of our connection, even when things go sideways.
The conversation takes unexpected turns as we debate who would survive longer in a zombie apocalypse (spoiler: I'd tap out early rather than struggle through post-apocalyptic life), play our own version of the Newlywed Game, and tackle listener questions in our "Gremlin Guidance" segment. My boyfriend's reluctance to gather gossip details drives me crazy as a self-proclaimed "nosiest bitch to have ever lived," while his persistent belief that he's 33 years old (he's not) becomes a running joke throughout the episode.
As the recording progresses and the drinks continue, you'll hear me transform into what I lovingly call "a gremlin," but that's all part of the birthday celebration charm. Whether you're a longtime listener curious about the mysterious man in my life or a new friend looking for laughs, this episode offers a genuine glimpse into our relationship dynamic. Follow @emilytogremilypod on Instagram and TikTok for more gremlin adventures!
Hey guys, so I just finished editing this episode and while it's a really funny episode, you must remember that we had filmed this and recorded it on my birthday, at eight o'clock at night, after we had been drinking all day and being out in the sun. And as the recording progresses, you are going to hear me slur my words more and more and become a little more unhinged than normal. But you know, it was my birthday, we were having a great time and while the episode is clocking in at a little under an hour, we did record for like an hour and a half and also took a 15 minute break on the in-between and also took a 15 minute break on the in-between. So, yes, just be kind about the fact that I am turning into a gremlin during the episode. Also, I never gave him a proper introduction, so let's do that.
Speaker 1:Right now I am recording with my boyfriend, robert, whose name I think I say maybe twice throughout the whole time. So, yes, I hope you guys really enjoy this episode. It was a lot of fun to film with him and, yeah, let's get it started. Cheers, my love, cheers. Okay. So finally, after months and months and months of nagging, I finally got my boyfriend on the podcast say hello, hello. So I half have him on here because he, if you're watching on YouTube, which most people don't really watch on YouTube, he didn't want to be on camera, which is kind of creating a little bit of lore around who you are and what you look like, but whatever, no, no one can see you.
Speaker 1:I you, quiet and shy so so I have you on here as like a birthday present to myself, correct?
Speaker 2:correct. There you go, honey, I'm doing it for you.
Speaker 1:Yes, correct, so, yes, so I'm basically going to put him in the hot seat for the entire episode. Again, if you're watching on YouTube, you're not going to see him, you're going to just see me. Actually, I haven't decided. Maybe I'll do like a montage of like pictures of us and like videos of us. I don't know, I'm probably just going to put like a video of me because I'm a little narcissistic. But you know, what can we do? Are you ready to be put in the hot seat?
Speaker 2:I'm here, don't be happy birthday.
Speaker 1:Thank you, baby. All right, so the first thing is actually hold on, I lie. The first thing is actually hold on, I lie.
Speaker 2:The first thing is what are we drinking today? Vodka, it's Ron Ron juice, because we love Jersey Shore, I know it's watermelon and blueberry.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I made him cut the watermelon while he took a shower. It's watermelon, vodka, blueberries, cranberry juice, lime juice, ice and uh, I don't know. I've obviously had several. So we happies right yeah, it tastes good.
Speaker 2:Usually I'm just straight vodka.
Speaker 1:But you are straight vodka, which is why I also gave you the vodka bottle. You have the Tito's handle sitting right next to you, and it should be a good episode, honey, all right, so be careful with how you answer this, but have I told any stories incorrectly? Careful, baby, careful. It's also my birthday. You have to be nice.
Speaker 2:No, just tell us how it is. I think they're all correctly, yeah, except the cruise one. Maybe you left a couple kids out.
Speaker 1:Okay, but if I left it out it's just because I don't remember. You said I was a little more like verbally expressive than I remember me being. I just remember going to the room and being a cute little angel and going to sleep. Because am I not a cute little angel? You are, I, just I had to get the crew to open the door for us, which I did explain.
Speaker 2:They had to open the door for us explain they had to open the door for us or the only thing left out was I did sleep on the top deck of the ship because I got locked out again and instead of getting somebody, I just went on one of those cushiony chairs and woke up looking at the ocean all right.
Speaker 1:And my other circle back was life insurance. You think I'm signing you up for so many different life insurance policies to the fact that, like AAA, is like mailing you pack like legit packet it's not envelopes, it's packets.
Speaker 2:You think I'm signing you up because I'm trying to let I don't know off you. I don't know, I'm not even at that age yet.
Speaker 1:So, sweetheart, they're sending them for a reason how old do you think you are? 33 well, that's a goddamn lie you think? You're 33 I feel 33 feeling and being are two totally different things. I feel like I'm 16, but if you check my driver's license it's gonna say a totally different age, especially today, cause today's my birthday. Yeah, dmv, people are crooked so you're blaming DMV people for the reason why you are older than you feel yeah, I don't know they put that year on their.
Speaker 2:they lie, not from your why you are older than you feel.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know they put that year on there. They lie Not from your, like birth certificate, not from they just took my word and changed it. So DMV people have misconstrued your age.
Speaker 2:They have.
Speaker 1:Anyway, but.
Speaker 2:She might have looked at me and said, oh yeah, yeah, you're 33.
Speaker 1:The silence is loud between us right now. It's very loud anyway, but the day that that episode aired and I was talking about the fact that you were upset over the fact that you thought I was signing you up for life insurance, even though there's no reason to sign you up for life insurance I received in the mail a packet from AAA. Even though I haven't been a AAA member in like I don't know, like a year, year and a half, they sent me a packet for life insurance as well, and then I showed it to you. I said what's your fucking game, dude? And then you laughed and look at you. You're fucking laughing right now.
Speaker 2:It's just, it's triple A it's. You know, they give it to other members, see it's targeted marketing.
Speaker 1:So it's not me signing you up and being a creepo, it's you just being in their target demographic and I am not in their target demographic, mind you, they're. The first bracket of age is 18 to 34.
Speaker 2:I'm well before 34 oh, yeah, so my 33 is under 34 I cannot, I can, I, I cannot, I cannot.
Speaker 1:All right, you know what. I'm gonna move past this topic, we're gonna go to the instagram questions. Are you ready for this baby? I am you are all right. So you have to answer it first and then I'm gonna to answer it. All right, are you ready? Yes, Okay, All right. The first one says where has been your favorite place that you've?
Speaker 2:traveled. Wait, you're not going to tell me who it's from.
Speaker 1:I only know who the last one is from.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay. So I don't know these people.
Speaker 1:You don't except for the last one, and then you'll know who it's from. I'll explain. Ricky, all right, where has been your favorite place that you've traveled together, and where are you hoping to travel to next?
Speaker 2:Oh, that's a good one. All our travels have been exciting, but our favorite place so far- I feel like we have oh probably just towards the end of the pandemic when we went to Rosarito with my family.
Speaker 1:That was during the pandemic honey. Well, it was towards the end.
Speaker 2:It was-.
Speaker 1:Oh, like towards the end of the pandemic.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, officially, yeah, that was a good trip, well-. We went to Rosarito, we did Valle Guadalupe wineries.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we went to the wineries.
Speaker 2:We did the Puerto Nuevo, lobster Town.
Speaker 1:It was a good trip. It was a great trip. You were kind of a poo.
Speaker 2:Okay, but we were with my family.
Speaker 1:I mean I love your family, All my brothers, I love your family. So that makes it about a solo trip together seattle was cool what seattle was nice I love seattle, but our san diego old town. San diego trips were nice I told us well, actually I told like half that story on the podcast already where we went to the zoo and it was such a windy road you threw.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when you threw up between the cars.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was really embarrassing. I almost I did. I or you, I mean you listen to the podcast. You know that I said that I almost did not even go on that trip.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I remember I was so nervous.
Speaker 1:Why was I so nervous about?
Speaker 2:you, but our Paris Casino trips were cool because we had to stay an extra day because I didn't think I can drive home the next day.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, wait, no, no, no, that wasn't Vegas.
Speaker 2:No, harrah's in San Diego. No, it wasn't, it was Harrah's.
Speaker 1:No, it wasn't, it was Agua Caliente.
Speaker 2:Oh, agua Caliente, You're right. Yeah, you're right.
Speaker 1:Of course I'm right, you're right, yeah.
Speaker 2:You're right.
Speaker 1:Of course I'm right, duh.
Speaker 2:It's still south of LA.
Speaker 1:I mean whatever, Okay, so okay. So you said wait, so you didn't never said it. What's the favorite place? You got to pick one, Uno.
Speaker 2:I would say the Airbnb and Joshua tree. We had great time that weekend for your birthday. Wait, no, that was in.
Speaker 1:September, no, your birthday, wait. No, that was in september. No what? No, last year was your birthday. We went oh wait, oh that yeah, that was a good one. That was a good one. What about the time during the pandemic? You're like I don't remember which one?
Speaker 2:the first one the first one.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I feel like you're gonna be mad at me for saying this on camera and on microphone. We were rolling hard.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah, so that was Desert Palm, it was 2020 of September. So it wasn't Joshua Tree, it was 29 Palms. Yeah, yeah, same area, same area.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was a good time. That was great time actually that was nighttime swimming oh, yeah, yeah good, and where? Are you, oh yeah, the giant pool yeah, what do they call the cowboy pool? It's like three feet deep, ten feet basically, if he stands in it, it goes up to his knees. Yeah, okay, and where are you hoping to travel to next?
Speaker 2:um, I would like to do the trip we never took because of the pandemic Amsterdam, paris that kills my soul.
Speaker 1:Spain. Okay, so originally the original trip was gonna be we were gonna fly into Amsterdam, take the train to Brussels on my birthday, spain.
Speaker 2:Okay, so originally the original trip was going to be we were going to fly into Amsterdam.
Speaker 1:take the train to Brussels On my birthday. We're going to land in Amsterdam on my birthday. Yeah, so his birthday is May, march. Oh my God, march, forgive me, that's your other guy. Not Pablo.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Pablo Shut up.
Speaker 1:Okay, so we're going to land March 23rd of 2020 in Amsterdam. We're going to take the train to Brussels. We are going to take a train back into Paris.
Speaker 2:And LA shut down a week before. Well, no, the world shut down.
Speaker 1:It was just like it was terrible. We were so upset At first. We thought we were going to be able to get away with it, and we didn't realize how serious it was. Just like it was terrible. We were so upset at first, we thought we were going to be able to get away with it and we didn't realize how serious it was.
Speaker 1:We would have been stuck in europe 100, like, yeah, it would have been terrible, one of us could have gotten sick. I mean, at one point one of us had gotten covid at some point and it was a terrible disease and we were extremely sick and this, this and that whatever, but anyway, yeah, so we were going to go. That would be a great trip to recreate, especially because it was paid for.
Speaker 2:Well, we were lucky to get a complete refund. Because at first they were like well, you're not going to get your taxes back, you're not going to get the hotel back.
Speaker 1:You're not going to get the train ride back, well, no initially we were just only gonna get everything back except the taxes, which at that point I was like, well, fuck it, like I don't feel like fighting them, I don't feel like talking to people in different language, like I was just like I'm fighting with people but it seems like everybody realized how serious it was Exactly and they're like all right.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So eventually, like I don't know, like maybe around like October of 2020, we ended up getting like a significant jump in our bank account. We were like what the hell is this for? And then we realized it was the taxes back from that trip. So luckily that came to be All right. Actually, the favorite place I've been that we've traveled to it also comes from, like a vocal stem that I have with you.
Speaker 2:Don't laugh at me, I have anxiety oh god, big bear was a great trip so we went to big bear.
Speaker 1:It was, I don't know, maybe like our third, fourth trip. A third it's got to be third, um third trip because we went to san diego, we went to vegas, and, and then I think third would have been Big Bear, so it was like February. January.
Speaker 2:January 2019.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, and so we pulled into this lodge in Big Bear.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the front office.
Speaker 1:The front office so we could get our keys and like be told like exactly where to go on the property.
Speaker 2:It wasn't a hotel, it was a cabin resort. It was like cabin resorts, exactly where to go on the property it wasn't a hotel, it was a cabin resort.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was a cabin. It was like cabin resorts and he parks, he gets to eat.
Speaker 2:They had a blizzard the night before Correct Huge snowstorm.
Speaker 1:Yes, it was a very big deal. The fact that we made it was amazing. And then he gets in the car and he goes to drive away.
Speaker 2:Well, we park, we go, check in and we go back to the car.
Speaker 1:Yes, and he goes to drive away and he can't drive away. He's stuck in what, what?
Speaker 2:is that? What do you call that?
Speaker 1:Like a snow drift.
Speaker 2:No, no, no. So my tire went in a perfectly square block of ice, so my tire was dead center of a block of ice.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I cannot get out.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:I turned the wheel, I went forward backward, turning, tried pushing and I'm sitting there going. There's nobody around because it's so cold and it's snowing.
Speaker 1:Of course, so no one's out.
Speaker 2:It's like 12 noon and I'm in shorts and a t-shirt, mind you, and the people are looking at me like wait he did not pack pants.
Speaker 1:He doesn't pack pants because he, in the coldest weather possible, he could be in Siberia or Russia, and this dude is always in shorts. You're in shorts right now.
Speaker 2:And a t-shirt.
Speaker 1:It's so frustrating. It's so frustrating because he's never cold. I wish he was ever cold. He's never cold. Anyway, he has to get under the car, yeah, so I'm like struggling to get the car out.
Speaker 2:One tire's in a block of ice. So she's laughing like she's doing now and I'm like stop laughing, I'm getting anxiety.
Speaker 1:And then so my vocal stim becomes don't laugh at me, I'm having anxiety and he becomes so mad, and it's what. This is what, six years later, seven years later. You still love me, though, right I'm on here you're on here and you hate this.
Speaker 2:I love you so I go walk into the reception area and I'm like, uh, my tire's stuck, my truck is stuck like, oh well, it's our maintenance person's day off, but let's see if he's available so he eventually comes out okay with a little like tow truck, like a little scooper thing, okay how about this?
Speaker 1:have you ever I mean not that, like we grew up ever around snow? Because, like I saw snow the first time when I was like I don't know, like it wasn't my first time in big bear, though oh so you should know better. So like baby, like basically get together in a parking spot.
Speaker 2:Ice formed around my tire. Oh so it's mother nature's fault.
Speaker 1:Yes, I just parked in a parking spot, ice formed around my tire. Oh, so it's Mother Nature's fault. Yes, I was going to say Wait, I don't remember what I was going to say Because I'm stuck on the fact that you think it's Mother Nature.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the main thing is that it comes out with this little bulldozer like a miniature version and he's like I'll tow, tow you out, but you have to go underneath wait, did we have to get towed out?
Speaker 1:I don't remember that so I went underneath my car I mean, I remember you laying in the snow and then telling me, actually told me, bro, I have a blanket if you want to go underneath and you're like no, I'm tough, I have you got shorts and a t-shirt on.
Speaker 2:I'm like I'm fine actually and I was wearing flip flops. The fucking flip flops he gives me the rope with the hook, I hook it up underneath my car and he pulled this out. You know, I tipped the guy and he's like, oh, it's okay, man, it's my day off, I just want to go back and watch football or something. It was playoff time, oh yeah, it was January.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So anyway, I tipped the guy and he was like, thank you so much, man, I'm going to go back and have my beer. And we got our cabin.
Speaker 1:That was a great cabin, though that was a fun time.
Speaker 2:It was. We had snowball fights.
Speaker 1:We had snowball fights. I built a snowman that was a great vacation.
Speaker 2:All our vacations are great, I think.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I feel like we have really bad travel luck, though.
Speaker 2:Well, our cruise.
Speaker 1:That was a shit show in and of itself.
Speaker 2:I mean, I think it was Hurricane Ike. I don't remember which hurricane it was it was a tour through Kabul, because our third day was supposed to be in Kabul.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we were and we were excited we were very excited to go on the-. Until some lady told us did you read the paper no, hold on, hold on, we can't go. This is the problem. The paper that so. We were entering the boat, we were given a paper yeah, and we just put it aside reason, I decided that you should be given the paper.
Speaker 1:So you were handed the paper, you took it into your possession and then I don't know what the fuck you did with it. And then you, we just walked onto the boat. Then we went into the muster station, quote, unquote, which is where you're supposed to go if like the boat is sinking.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is your. Yeah, this is your area.
Speaker 1:This is your area, in case we. You know, we got a jack and rose it and she was this older lady was like, oh my god, can you believe we're not going to cabo? And I was like, wait, what she was like? It was on the paper. I'm like, oh my god, give me the fucking paper. So you're like, oh really. So you pulled it out of your fucking pocket, you gave it to me.
Speaker 1:I'm like, oh my god, it says we're not going to cabo, which is the whole reason we're going on this vacation which, honestly, like I feel like that's like maybe our supreme vacation.
Speaker 2:I fucking loved that cruise a lot of people look down on cruises, so the boat went on to deep into the pacific it.
Speaker 1:Well, it went to ensanada. Well, no, that was after.
Speaker 2:So we went into the pacific and you can feel the winds, oh no I have like and the rain. Backstories of like and you can see people getting. It was like food by the pool, no, and their food was flying off their dishes.
Speaker 1:That was my Instagram story. I had a plate of nachos that you know me and nachos. I fuck with nachos Hardcore. I had a plate of nachos and I was videoing it for Instagram because you know me and my you know, 20 followers are very interested in my nachos and I videoed it. And then my nachos fell like.
Speaker 2:They flew away like birds yeah, but other people walking by us because by the pool area had a free taco stand right. It's part of the cruise yeah, so people are making tacos and they're walking past us and they're like oh no, my taco, oh no, my taco 100, but it was windy, it was raining windy, it was, it was swells were, it was like in a hurricane, it was like 15 feet swells slamming into the side of the cruise ship I mean, look, we had a great time no, it was.
Speaker 1:It was amazing, you and I got the unlimited drink package.
Speaker 2:We had a great time we spent a lot because we didn't go to cabo.
Speaker 1:They parked we parked in ensenada for two days.
Speaker 2:Well, no, we parked in the ocean for two days as well okay, but they parked in ensenada, so people are going instead of being there eight hours.
Speaker 1:We were there for like right, I think 37 hours, which means we just got to like, have the boat.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was, it was so people got off the boat in senada because it was two days worth yeah but we met some amazing people from texas in the boy. Yeah, yeah, it was a great time. It was a great time that family we met with the grandpa was amazing, and then the whole his entire family. It was fun goods time. We had a great time. That family we met with the grandpa was amazing, and then the whole his entire family.
Speaker 1:It was fun, goods, yeah, yeah, we had a great time. I do remember making friends with some guy in the casino who kept fucking winning. He was just always winning.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, we met two guys, that curly haired guy, I think, they were from Seattle.
Speaker 1:I don't know where the yeah, they were from seattle and jude kept winning.
Speaker 2:But then I remember he played slots he won. He played blackjack, he won. Yeah, it was like I'm like dude like your fucking formula.
Speaker 1:I don't know what the hell you're doing. Not that he had a formula but, I was just like, oh my god, like you got it going on, like I feel like he left the boat like up ten thousand dollars from what he spent on the goddamn fucking cruise anyway.
Speaker 1:But I do remember that I was like walking towards you because you were at like I don't know where the fuck you were, but I walked up and then I tripped on the stairs and he picked me up and I was like thank you so much, like he was like super nice you wish you would keep in contact with him. Oh yeah, totally yeah, him and all his thousands, 100%.
Speaker 2:That was a good trip. The staff on that cruise was nice.
Speaker 1:They were great. That was a great one. So, yeah, I have anxiety. That's a great vocal stim that I have from you. But yeah, that cruise was probably one of my favorite trips that we've taken together. We've taken a bunch I mean none A bunch of little trips. Yeah, little trips. We need to take bigger trips, but you know what can we do? All right. Second question how do you two?
Speaker 2:That was the first question.
Speaker 1:That was the first question. That was the first question. Well, it was two questions in one, all right.
Speaker 2:How do you two like to spend your free time?
Speaker 1:I don't know we like watching, catching up on shows. Okay, so let me ask you this have you always been a reality TV connoisseur? Nope, so it's just me that made you that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I like spending the time with you.
Speaker 1:Okay. So out of all the reality shows I've forced you to watch what's your favorite. You want me to give you a list. We got Jersey Shore. We got Vanderpump Rules. We got Vanderpump Villa, below Deck.
Speaker 2:You're just calling me out now.
Speaker 1:I'm not calling you out.
Speaker 2:I'm watching.
Speaker 1:How am I calling you out, hey?
Speaker 2:my friends don't know I watch these shows.
Speaker 1:Sweetheart, yes, they do.
Speaker 2:I don't know Jersey Shore. I didn't like it in the beginning, but now that we watch the Like the newest version of it.
Speaker 1:Like them being grown up?
Speaker 2:No like you, go back and watch season one, season two season three, four five I like it now watching it with you than 15 years ago.
Speaker 1:Am I giving you new experiences With my young mind?
Speaker 2:It's hanging out with you. That's cool for me.
Speaker 1:You're just always down to hang out with me, okay, so wait, what's the favorite show that I've turned you on to? Also, it doesn't have to be reality, I've made you watch a lot of shows.
Speaker 2:I love Lucy, I loved before.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean because you were around when it was filmed.
Speaker 2:Like it was only, like it was only started 33 years ago. I mean, I don't know, I can't pick one. I, like you, were enjoying Grey's.
Speaker 1:Anatomy for a while. But you haven't seen it since the beginning, which is what my next round of TV watching is going to be. You got to watch it from the beginning.
Speaker 2:I'm going to go with probably the Office, or Everybody Loves Raymond.
Speaker 1:Oh, those are great shows.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Those are good ones, good ones, baby Good ones, all right, ooh, this one's a good one. What's a good one? What's a pet peeve you have about each other? What's your pet peeve about me, even though I'm perfect in?
Speaker 2:every way. Yeah, I was going to say that's a goddamn lie.
Speaker 1:Shut the fuck up Nothing. You do not think I'm perfect.
Speaker 2:You are.
Speaker 1:You think I'm perfect. I have a pet peeve about you perfect you are. You think I'm perfect.
Speaker 2:I have a pet peeve about you that I'm perfect. That is not my pet peeve about you, yeah I have no pet peeve about you.
Speaker 1:That's a damn lie. There's no way that you're like looking at me being like, oh she's perfect, no, no you're such a liar Nope. All right, want me to tell you my pet peeve about you? All right? So let's say you come home. If I come home or you always come home, shut up. You come home and you're like, hey, so-and-so got a divorce and I'm like, oh my God, why.
Speaker 2:Oh, that I don't get full stories on gossip.
Speaker 1:Who the fuck doesn't ask fucking questions I say guys I say oh my god, why did they get divorced? I don't know, did someone cheat? I don't know who initiated the divorce. I don't know who doesn't ask follow-up questions. It shows that you don't care. How do you not care about your friends getting a fucking divorce.
Speaker 1:I'm so mad, I'm so mad, I'm so mad this doesn't mean I don't care about you it does show that you don't care about me, because why would you not get the full fucking story? I want to know what's going on like.
Speaker 2:I'd rather stay out of people's business.
Speaker 1:You are wild. You are wild. Who wants to stay out of someone's business? I want to know everyone's business at all times. You listen to the show, correct?
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:You heard last week's episode Even before the show I live with you heard last week's episode even before the show.
Speaker 2:I live with you. You know I am the nosiest bitch you will ever fucking be in your entire life.
Speaker 1:You also know I'd rather not talk to most people but if it's your friend saying, hey, this is what's going on in my life, how do you not ask follow-up questions? This is wild news. If you were to tell me something, if you're like.
Speaker 2:If they're my close friend, eventually they'll tell me.
Speaker 1:That is. That is so insane, the fact that you think that way. Your brain is wired so different. And I don't think it's the. It's not in the majority. How do you not care about what is happening in people's lives? It's not in the majority. How do you not care about what is happening in people's lives? I care about what's happening.
Speaker 2:Next time something happens I'll be like hey, by the way, em wants to know exactly what's going on, please no.
Speaker 1:You can blame it on me. I don't give a flying fuck, because if you listen to this podcast, you know that I am the nosiest bitch to have ever lived. I don't care if I know you, it could be a random ass fucking person your last podcast, the wedding one is like you were like.
Speaker 2:Oh, I need to know the details.
Speaker 1:So the next question says do you ever get jealous?
Speaker 2:Nope.
Speaker 1:You never get jealous. Why is that? Do you think I'm not desirable enough to get jealous over?
Speaker 2:I'm just confident.
Speaker 1:Confident of what.
Speaker 2:No matter what somebody else says or does or trying to get your attention.
Speaker 1:That I'm going to be faithful.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love that that is true. Should I get jealous about you?
Speaker 2:No reason to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's true. All right, a question.
Speaker 2:Most people don't like Shrek Shut up.
Speaker 1:You do don't like Shrek. Shut up. You do not look like Shrek, although you are creating lore about what you look like because you won't be on camera.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm. All right, the next, actually the last question. You know who this is from.
Speaker 2:Just from the question.
Speaker 1:Just from the question oh God, All right, Are you ready? Quote unquote why is he so sexy? Hey, and thank you, Tom, for writing in for this question.
Speaker 2:Oh, I wasn't even going to say his name. I was going to say cheeseburger. Oh no, I'm going to call you out sweetheart Tom thank you, I'm surprised that's the only question. Oh no, I'm going to call you out sweetheart Tom. Thank you, I'm surprised, that's the only question.
Speaker 1:Oh no, he sent in two others and I just decided to pick this one because I thought it would make you blush the most, which it is. You're so pink, You're so cute.
Speaker 2:I love you, Tom.
Speaker 1:We love you, tom, and even though this is probably the only episode that you're actually listening to, thank you, baby Love, episode that you're actually listening to. Thank you, baby, love you so much. All right, are we ready for the next part? Oh, I thought that was the last question well, it was for that, for the instagram questions. Now we're gonna do the newlywed game, okay? So when I ask you the question, you have to answer what you think my answer is, and vice versa right I didn't.
Speaker 1:I did tell you the questions, like yesterday, two years ago two years ago actually, so you probably forgot it, but whatever. So question number one who is my celebrity crush? And I'm gonna answer for you as well who I think is my or I know okay it's one of two people all right charlie hunnam or leonardo dicaprio you gotta pick one I'm gonna go with charlie Hunnam.
Speaker 1:I fucking love him yeah, so do I the naughty things I would do to him me too, just kidding you said that and then you went like this with your hand you went oh my god, you look so upset.
Speaker 2:I love his movie. I love his acting.
Speaker 1:Charlie Hunnam is okay. For those who don't know, just look up Jax Teller from Sons of Anarchy. Oh my God, Such a beautiful man. He's just like.
Speaker 2:Or Green Street. Hooligans is what I love about him. You could look that up as well.
Speaker 1:I love him. He's so sexy All right, anyway, I got to get over what I'm thinking. He's so sexy alright, anyway, I gotta get over what I'm thinking. Alright, your celebrity crush, charlize Theron of course yeah, you love her. That's easy peasy. Lemon squeezy alright, what is my and your? But you have to answer for me favorite dessert.
Speaker 2:Yours is brownies.
Speaker 1:Nope, Really Heavens to Betsy. You really don't know.
Speaker 2:Mm-mm. Brownies. You love brownies.
Speaker 1:I mean, I love brownies, cheesecake buddy, Yours is creme brulee.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Dude, okay, hold, on Yesterday we were talking about creme brulee and then I looked up ways to make creme brulee and I was like, fuck this, this is way too complicated. I'm not going to make creme brulee for you.
Speaker 2:I love you so much if you can have it all the time. It probably gets old. So yeah, who?
Speaker 1:has creme brulee all the time. That's like a. That's like a rich person. You know what? That's a rich person's dessert. That's the goal. We're gonna have creme brulee. We're gonna be so rich. We're gonna have creme brulee so many times that we're not even gonna. We're gonna be like I'm bored. I'm bored of this dessert. Love it all right. If I had a superpower, what would I want it to be?
Speaker 2:you would like to read people's thoughts you think so.
Speaker 1:All right, tell me what your superpower would be, and then I'll tell you what mine would be and what I thought for you.
Speaker 2:Mine would be be able to transport myself out of a room.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Or away from people or being invisible, okay, it's like oh, I don't like those people. Snap.
Speaker 1:But you don't like anybody. You're like oh, I don't like those people Snap, but you don't like anybody. You're like I'm always invisible. Yeah, okay, and what?
Speaker 2:would mine be. It's like oh my God, humans, Bye.
Speaker 1:Okay, and what would mine be?
Speaker 2:Read people's thoughts. Okay, so you know what's going on.
Speaker 1:All right, ooh, ooh, because you know I's going on. All right, oh, oh, because you know I like control, you know I'm a control freak. Okay, that's fair. I would want to have, like, oh, okay, I think you would want teleportation yeah which is what basically you said not like a genie, like like where you can like, basically like a genie. But yeah, I think you want teleportation, I want telekinesis, I want to like move things with my mind, I want to be able to be able to be like what charlie hunnam appear here no, that's teleportation.
Speaker 1:I mean I'm gonna use your power in in my respects but like, if you annoy me I can go like. Like always, you act like I throw you across the room. Who would survive longer in a zombie apocalypse and why?
Speaker 2:Between us.
Speaker 1:Between you and me.
Speaker 2:Oh, you would.
Speaker 1:You think me.
Speaker 2:Why? Because I'm a big guy, so there's more to eat.
Speaker 1:Okay, it's not talking about like oh my God.
Speaker 2:Well, zombies eat people.
Speaker 1:Of course. But like, okay, all right, I'm gonna, I'm gonna flip it around. I think you would survive longer because you have a will to live now that I don't. But if a zombie apocalypse happened, like right now, I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna dip out, I'm gonna drink a lot Tito's or vodka or whatever the fuck's available. I'm going to take a lot of pills and I'm just going to like peace. I don't Do you know what?
Speaker 1:My favorite thing to do is Bedrock. I love to sit and enjoy my time with myself. Sit and enjoy my time with myself. I don't want to travel on foot across the country in search of a better life, which is why I was born in the correct time period, generation. There's no way in hell I would have survived, like being like a pilgrim or I I don't even fucking know. There's no. There's no way. I was born in the right time period and if the zombie apocalypse starts right now, I'm gonna go out with a goddamn bang. I'm gonna have a goddamn great time. I'm gonna get really drunk, I'm gonna do some illegal stuff.
Speaker 2:I'm like call it would it be illegal during the zombie apocalypse?
Speaker 1:it wouldn't be illegal. Yeah, no one's gonna arrest me. I mean, if you want to arrest me, like fucking take it. I've never been arrested in my entire life. Actually, that would be fun. I feel like I want to be like that 98-year-old woman who was like she was like I've never been arrested in my entire life. I want to be that lady. I've never been arrested. I just want to be arrested at one point in my life.
Speaker 2:During a zombie apocalypse.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, Like later on in life, like, like, just like, let's say like I live to be like I don't know, like 80, 90, whatever, I don't know. I sound terrible, but whatever, like I live to be that old and I've never been arrested because I've lived my life, like you know, by church, technically Okay. Last question for newlywed game If you won the lottery, what's the first thing you'd buy together?
Speaker 2:We'd buy a house. A house, yeah.
Speaker 1:Why.
Speaker 2:Your house.
Speaker 1:Because, you know, I love the house that I've set my mind on.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:Okay, let's say I didn't exist, emmy doesn't exist. What would you do?
Speaker 2:Be sad.
Speaker 1:Aww, okay, okay, okay, forget being sad.
Speaker 2:What would you do if what if I if won the lottery without you? Yeah, like pretend I don't exist but, also pretend that, like other vaginas, don't exist I'd take I don't know a hundred of my closest family and friends on a I don't know the two-week cruise a cruise, a cruise to where? It doesn't matter oh okay, we're all together, probably mexico, from mexico to the mediter.
Speaker 1:Okay, how about this? Not that I'm like impeding on your cruise, I'm just asking you, like, as, like a person, would you ever want to go to the Antarctica?
Speaker 2:You don't exist.
Speaker 1:Okay, I exist now Boom.
Speaker 2:Oh, um.
Speaker 1:Wait, hold on, I exist now. Maybe the Caribbean?
Speaker 2:Boom Caribbean.
Speaker 1:What about Antarcticaarctica? Yeah, I never thought of it would you ever want to go there? Never thought about the drake passage never thought of it I'm like am I a crazy person for wanting to do it?
Speaker 2:south pacific mediterranean.
Speaker 1:Okay, hold on, hold on, Stand by Bubbies. South Pacific and Mediterranean are two totally different places.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know, go from one to the other, go to Mexico, South Pacific, and then jump on a flight and go to Greece. All those other places.
Speaker 1:All right, you want to do grammar and guidance Sure.
Speaker 2:All right, you want to do grandma?
Speaker 1:guidance. Sure, All right. The first one said I am planning to take a trip to Los Angeles with my boyfriend in three weeks. Any suggestions on what we should do? Slash where we should go Sydney from Maryland.
Speaker 2:Hmm.
Speaker 1:I can tell you where you shouldn't go?
Speaker 2:Yeah, don't go to Venice or Santa Monica Beaches. Yeah, also, don't go to Venice or Santa Monica Beaches.
Speaker 1:Also don't go to like the Hollywood Walk of Fame Cause, that's.
Speaker 2:It's dangerous. Don't do the Hollywood thing.
Speaker 1:It's scary.
Speaker 2:Don't do Santa Monica, Venice or Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Speaker 1:I mean, you can do like Santa Monica Pier no.
Speaker 2:It's just, people are targeting tourists there.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I would do Orange County. If you have a car Orange County, Do Newport Beach.
Speaker 1:Or money to do Uber.
Speaker 2:Huntington Beach. I mean, yeah, if you have like the funds to Uber everywhere, mm-hmm, I would do Laguna. Do Orange County beaches. It's safer, they're cleaner. So if you stay in LA, do Culver City, manhattan Beach, long Beach it's like its own city. Pasadena as well is cool. But if you want to do beaches, I would do Orange County beaches, laguna, newport.
Speaker 1:Or, if you want, to do like Malibu Huntington.
Speaker 2:Yeah, even Santa Barbara. Go up to Santa Barbara, take the train to Santa Barbara.
Speaker 1:It's a cool view. Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 2:You can do the mountains too. I mean, it's all a day's trip.
Speaker 1:You go to Big Bear and go to the beach all in the same day yeah, like that's the lovely part about los angeles is you can do beach mountains, you you have like you can be in the snow in big bear and still get sun at the beach the same day yeah, all right.
Speaker 1:Are you ready for grandma guidance number two? All right. My husband and I are expecting our first child in three months. We haven't found out the sex of the baby because we want want it to be a surprise. We have been getting in a friendly argument about what the baby's name would be, but as we get closer to the date I'm worried he's not going to agree with my names. How would you two settle this dispute?
Speaker 2:signed katrina um, agree on if it's a girl, you pick, if it's a boy, he picks oh no you know. I mean you have to agree on something right or draw names. I mean do you have to agree on something right or draw names? I mean, do you want to pick your grandparents or his grandparents?
Speaker 1:Hold on, let me ask you this Because, let me state this for the record you and I, we have not decided whether we want to have children or not, correct, mm-hmm?
Speaker 2:Okay, have children or not, correct, okay, so, if, if, if if, if we decide we want to have children I have the names picked, okay, and you're cool with that?
Speaker 1:yeah that's us, though. Okay, I have a very manipulative thing that I can say. That's why I picked it, because I was like oof. I'm like that sounds manipulative, but it could work in Katrina's favor.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:You give like a really weird name that you would be like, yeah, like we should do this, and then you give the normal name that you want and it's that Like okay, so around like I don't know, maybe like the age I was like 15, I said out loud I wanted to name my daughter Nestle. What would you say if I said that to you right now?
Speaker 2:If that's what you wanted to pick.
Speaker 1:You would totally go with that. You would totally go with the name.
Speaker 2:If I said you can pick the name, then what can I say?
Speaker 1:Okay, so can I pick the name?
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:You're going on record right now.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:I can name the baby whatever I want. Yeah, you've been very vocal about what you would want our child's name to be Okay.
Speaker 2:if it's a boy, at least his middle name has to be what I want.
Speaker 1:And I'm okay with that.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 1:It just can't be as long if it's a boy.
Speaker 2:As long as Robert is in there somewhere, I'm cool.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm down to do Robert as a middle.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:Just because I don't want Robert as a first, not because I think it's a bad name.
Speaker 2:Well, my grandfather, my mom's side, Robert. Eight of the nine brothers had a Robert, so I need a Robert.
Speaker 1:That's my kerfuffle is that at one point, like a month ago, there was a misunderstanding of what Robert was talking to your mom. So I don't want it to be a child that's like lost in the sauce, basically when it's like which Robert is it? I don't know that one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I know every single Robert. And the 200 cousins on my mom's side.
Speaker 1:I know, you know Again, the possible child I might have, which is a very big possible, because I think if I have a child I might die. So this might be a moot point.
Speaker 2:Well, if he was born, my size.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. You were born. How big were you when you were born?
Speaker 2:So for the record I was, was it 11 and a half pounds, 11.7 pounds Either way. 19 and a half inches.
Speaker 1:I feel imminent death. I just don't see it. I don't physically see it. What I would love to do love, love, love. I would love to adopt a child. That's my goal in life. I want to adopt a child. He was looking at me like I would love to adopt a child and bring him or her, like, into our family. No, we're not into that. You're into it, I can see you.
Speaker 2:Well, we'll discuss it.
Speaker 1:All right, so now it's time you gotta tell your gremlin story.
Speaker 2:What, gremlin? I was never told this.
Speaker 1:You were told this you had several gremlin stories lined up to discuss. You were just going to debate on which gremlin story you were going to talk about. So which story would you like to tell?
Speaker 2:Oh Jesus, oh mind you, he is gonna be weird about talking about what he was under the influence of me nothing.
Speaker 1:Oh okay, wow, so many so many things you were under the influence of no, just so many gremlin stories.
Speaker 2:I mean see, not really bad I'm a crazy ass gremlin.
Speaker 1:This guy is a crazy ass, fucking gremlin.
Speaker 2:He, he introduced me to being a fucking gremlin I guess the one I'm gonna go with is a golf tournament in the late 90s, oh wait wait like late 90s, like what year?
Speaker 1:I don't know 98, 9 oh baby, yeah, I was like five years old, yeah I was probably like seven, so this is a wild wild times that you're talking about so it's a golf tournament, you know.
Speaker 2:So there's dozens and dozens of people that I know, or?
Speaker 1:who are also seven. Yeah, yeah, exactly okay.
Speaker 2:So it gets started and it's because of the tournament. So every couple holes or few holes, it's, you know, a group of girls serving drinks and you know everybody's getting sauced drunk. For those that don't know, I think sauce is and known at some point in the middle of the tournament, so like after six or seven, eight holes, somebody says, hey, who wants to roll?
Speaker 1:And you're like me.
Speaker 2:So yeah, our foursome, it's groups of four, so a foursome is four people playing together. You know, you go off the best ball, whoever hits it the part of this. All right, let's go off that guy's ball are you like a good golfer? Sure so that's, no okay no, I can drive the ball, I just can't do this.
Speaker 1:I can't do this. I don't even know what the fuck that means I can hit the ball far from the tee. I just can't make it in the hole always baby.
Speaker 2:So we're drinking and at some point somebody's like, hey, I got these things. Who want to roll?
Speaker 1:so I was like what's these things?
Speaker 2:oh, man, you have to have to.
Speaker 1:Of course, Of course, honey buddy.
Speaker 2:E-tabs back then. So we did, and at some point I had to pee. So I go to pee behind this tree while everybody else is hitting their balls, and as I'm peeing I'm like, wow, the grass is getting closer and I'm sinking and now my legs are covered in water.
Speaker 1:Wait.
Speaker 2:And now my shorts are covered in water Stop.
Speaker 1:Are you in actual quicksand?
Speaker 2:Not quicksand, but I was peeing by a tree, grass, mud, by a lake, so eventually I was waist deep in this lake. Anyway, I'm like oh shit. So I'm trying to get out and I can't. I just keep going further.
Speaker 1:And now the water's wait, you're just like walking within quicksand I'm not walking, I'm peeing and I'm sinking.
Speaker 2:So the person will call, tries to help me, but he starts sinking himself, but eventually gets out and then finds a stick and hands it to me and pulls me out. So yeah maybe we shouldn't have rolled that day. Yeah, so the rest of the day I'm I'm in muddy wet, but golf course, lake water drenched shorts, shoes and socks I.
Speaker 1:I also feel like that's not like the worst you've ever been.
Speaker 2:Really.
Speaker 1:Yes, I mean, look, you've seen me worse. I feel like that's not your worst.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was bad. I mean, you know, it was a golf tournament, so there's a dinner.
Speaker 1:So there's people like watching.
Speaker 2:No, yeah, after the tournament there's a dinner. People like watching. No, yeah, after the tournament there's the dinner.
Speaker 1:there's awards given out there's this and that.
Speaker 2:So yeah, this say it was two in the afternoon. We were there till like nine o'clock at night that sounds like a saw trap.
Speaker 1:This is terrible. Okay, is that your worst drunk high experience? Probably really that's your worst I would yeah, okay what would be a saw trap for you? I don't know like being sober and like a group of brand new people. Would that be a saw trap? Because that sounds terrible to me. I always hate to be new people yeah, I don't like newbies all right, my love. Would you like to give your socials out for the podcast, or no?
Speaker 1:uh, yeah, negative all right, he's private dude. The fact that I got him on here on this podcast is absolutely wild. I use it as like kind of a birthday present, so I'll take what I can get, but I will plan on whoring him out on TikTok and the podcast Eventually. He's looking at me like I'm crazy, but it will happen. You can follow myself and the pod at emilytogremilypod on Instagram and TikTok and you can email me your gremlin stories or gremlin guidance at emilytogremilypod at gmailcom. And yeah, that's what we're doing today, baby Right.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's it. Follow her, emily Togramily.
Speaker 1:Follow, like, share, subscribe, rate five stars, do everything. That's what we're going to do, and I'm tired. It's my birthday, let's go.
Speaker 2:Woo-hoo go birthday celebration.
