Emily to Gremily

Spilled Drinks and Crashed Weddings: Tales from the Tipsy Side

• Emily Hogan

Share episode

Pour yourself a generous glass of wine and settle in for a deliciously cringe-worthy collection of embarrassing moments that'll make you feel better about your own bad decisions. Welcome to the world of Gremlin Stories, where alcohol transforms ordinary people into their most mortifying selves.

This episode features four listener confessions that range from hilariously relatable to genuinely sympathetic. There's the college disaster involving beer pong, jello shots, a case of mistaken identity, a nightmare of airplane sickness; and perhaps most cringe-inducing, an anonymous submission about a first sexual experience gone horribly wrong due to excessive drinking.

Between sips of Sauvignon Blanc, I'm excited to launch a brand-new segment called "Gremlin Gossip", because who doesn't love juicy drama? The inaugural gossip comes from listener Joey, who witnessed a bride abandoning her groom at the altar. It's the kind of real-life drama that puts Hollywood rom-coms to shame.

Whether you've had your own gremlin moments or simply enjoy the schadenfreude of others' embarrassing stories, this episode delivers equal parts humor and humanity. And remember, your embarrassing stories, need for advice, or scandalous gossip are always welcome here. Send your submissions to emilytogremilypod@gmail.com and follow on Instagram and TikTok @emilytogremilypod.

Speaker 1:

all right, cheers guys. Emily with emily to gremlin, back with another solo episode. I have my white wine, sauvignon blanc, with me. Um, I gave myself a pretty hefty pour, I think, and I've had a little bit already to kind of like loosen up and get into it. So yeah, cheers to you and cheers to me.

Speaker 1:

I kind of wanted to do a circle back from last episode when I had Jay on the podcast. We were talking about her birthday, we were talking about Leo season in general, but we were discussing her birthday plans and we had made the declaration that we were going to get content and be wannabe influencers. And after the night was done and I got home, I looked at what I had in my phone and I have one video from the restaurant and nobody's in the video it. It's kind of laughable at this point. Yeah, we went to the Arden, which, if you've seen it on TikTok or you've been there yourself, you know that the whole place is just covered in florals. The ceiling, which is what I got my video of, is just like draped in florals. It's gorgeous in there, but I got a video of the ceiling. There are no pictures of Jay and I together because God forbid we take a picture together. But I like to just think that maybe we were just living in the moment. You know, I was meeting one, two, three other people that I'd never met before, so I was engaged in conversation and, just, you know, having a good time, which is why I didn't pull my phone out. I feel like, you know, you kind of see people who are just always at the table on their phones and they're not interacting. That wasn't us and I don't think she got anything either. I think maybe she got like one picture or one video. One of her friends did get a cute video of her and that's about it. So, yeah, no content to share, except for I could post the video of the ceiling but other influencers I say that, like I'm an influencer, other people on TikTok have much better videos than I do. So I would just suggest, if you'd like to see the restaurant, to go on TikTok and type in the Arden WeHo, west Hollywood, and you'll see it. And it was really gorgeous and we had a great time and she had a great birthday. I met some new people. I thought they were amazing and great and lovely and it was a good. It was a good birthday.

Speaker 1:

I did kind of poop out, though they were going to go out and go, like, have a time after the restaurant and I ended up going home. But that's okay, because the next morning I woke up and I didn't feel terrible and I didn't turn into a gremlin and you know what. I count that as a win for myself and for her and for my boyfriend, because he didn't have to deal with me. Okay, so we are going to do gremlin stories today. I think we have, let's see, one, two, three. We have four gremlin stories and then at the end I have four Gremlin stories and then at the end I have kind of a surprise. I just filmed a teaser about what the surprise is, so I'm probably going to post it. So it's probably not even a surprise anymore. But in case you didn't see the Instagram story, I'll keep it as a surprise for you guys. But if you've seen it, you already know what it is. And yeah, let's get it going.

Speaker 1:

All right, the first Gremlin story is from Miranda. She says I went to college back in the early aughts and for those who don't know, early aughts is early 2000s. Ok, let's revert. I went to college back in the early aughts and I wasn't a huge partier, like some drinking here and there, but it wasn't my pastime. Her and I would not have hung out. But this one particular weekend my friend and I decided to go to a frat party because we both had crushes on these two guys in that fraternity. We were on a mission. The mission, you ask Hook up with our crushes. Actually, you know what? Maybe we would have hung out. We were both nervous and decided to partake in beer pong. I suck at that game and pound the jello shots. Terrible idea girl. Jello shots, murder. The alcohol worked and we both had enough courage to start flirting with our guys and it was all working out.

Speaker 1:

After some time my crush asked if I wanted to go outside for a cigarette. I said of course, but in reality I had never smoked a day in my life. So I followed him outside and he lights one up and hands it to me. I took a drag of it and I'm pretty sure I did it wrong and immediately started coughing and became dizzy. He handed me a cup to help with the coughing and I drank it, only to find out it was whiskey. Why would he do that? I couldn't help myself. After that I threw up all over the bushes, projectile vomit everywhere in all the shades of the rainbow, courtesy of the many jello shots. I heard him say ew and he left me there. Not really my prince charming. He went and got my friend and her and I left together with my tail between my legs, so mortified.

Speaker 1:

To this day the mention of jello shots send a shiver up my spine, miranda, oh my God. Okay, number one. Beer pong and jello shots don't go together. Okay, number two. This is two. I put up three. Number two why would he say ew? Like, what a dick. Like he and his frat bros aren't, you know, puking all over the cesspool of that fraternity house? Like, shut up Him to say ew, but good on your friend for leaving her possible hookup. But Miranda, I hope you've learned your lesson. And yeah, jello shots, they sneak up on you. Don't do that. Okie, dokie, let's see.

Speaker 1:

Next one is Hannah. She says last summer I was hanging out with my boyfriend on the 4th of July and we were down at the pier where they have a big parade in our town, followed by a party. I live in a small coastal town that attracts a lot of tourists during the summer. By the time the fireworks had ended, I was relatively buzzed and heading to the bar to get two more drinks for myself and my boyfriend. On the way back to our spot with our drinks in hand, I see a girl cuddling up to a guy and being super lovey-dovey. The guy is wearing an obnoxious American flag shirt and I realize that's my boyfriend. We had had a mini spat about the shirt because I thought it looked hideous and he thought it was cool. I march over to the couple and scream what the fuck? And throw both drinks at them. One hits him in the back of the head and the other all over the girl's face and pigtails. Then I hear what are you doing behind me? The voice behind me was my actual boyfriend. I look back at the bewildered couple and the guy is shocked and the girl is fuming. I'm quickly trying to explain my fuck up that him and my boyfriend are wearing the same shirts and my boyfriend is trying to stop the girl from getting in my face. He ends up smoothing it over and buying them drinks, but the girl was still pissed rightfully, so he took me home right after that. We laugh about it now, but I still feel bad for ruining their night. Sorry girl hannah.

Speaker 1:

Okay, this one made me laugh because, um, tech, technically, boyfriend and I, our first date was 4th of July, so that's like kind of like our like holiday. But there was like a point it was like I don't know a couple years after we started dating where actually no, probably sooner than that he had this really terrible cowboy hat. That was an American flag, it was just. It was so ugly, it was so hideous, and he really wanted to wear it on Fourth of July and I said no because, like no, and I ended up hiding it from him. He found it when we moved, but I do believe I got rid of it Like it's not, it's not in the house. So, yeah, yeah, I understand the the fight because he's wearing something disgusting, but, yeah, I've never thrown a drink on someone. I would like to for like funsies, but yeah, no, I've never thrown a drink on someone, nor have I had a drink thrown on me. So, yeah, that I mean that's not cool, but I now I want to throw a drink on someone. I mean like for fun, not because I'm mad, like just like to throw a drink. Anyway, it'll never happen, I'm sure. Actually, never. Say never, you never know, manifesting all right. The next one is anonymous, she says.

Speaker 1:

After my sister's bachelorette party in Vegas, we were all feeling pretty shitty. I was keeping it together, surprisingly, and making sure all of us were packed up and headed to the airport. Everyone stumbled out of the Uber and we headed to our gate without incident. We had some time. So some of us ate, while others had the hair of the dog. I would have had the hair of the dog. I decided to eat so I could keep up my strength. She's the opposite of me.

Speaker 1:

When it's finally time to board, I start feeling not so good. We get to our seats and I immediately put the air on my face hoping it would help. So I don't know if it was a delayed hangover or the airport sandwich, but I was starting to feel the need to throw up. Oh God, after what felt like an eternity, the seatbelt sign went off and I jumped out of my seat to head to the bathroom. I'm halfway down the aisle and I think my fast movements did me in. I couldn't help it. I vomit in the aisle. I didn't know what else to do. Oh, I felt like a child who had had an accident. I didn't know. I didn't know what to do. Oh, I felt like a child who had had an accident. I didn't know. I didn't know what to do.

Speaker 1:

I kept it moving to the bathroom and continued my shame in the airplane bathroom. I was grateful to the stewardesses who helped me for the rest of the flight with some water and ginger ale, and I'm so sorry to anyone who is on that flight from vegas to phoenix, it's my most embarrassing moment, anonymous, okay. So look, if you're on a flight from vegas, leaving vegas, I'm sure you're not the first person this has happened to. Um, it doesn't make it any less. It doesn't make it any less terrible. Um, I have been in your position, except for I was feeling horrible at the airport and then I was able to, I think, get everything out of my system before I boarded the plane. And from you know, vegas to Los Angeles, the flight's, like you know, 45, 50 minutes, but I kept it together and I just like, curled up in my seat and just tried to take a nap. I didn't, but I just kept my eyes closed and when I got home, I continued my what did you say? I continued my shame. I continued my shame at home, and it was terrible because I had a friend who was house sitting for me and when I got to my house it was terrible because I had a friend who was house sitting for me and when I got to my house it was an absolute mess. So I had to deal with that as well as being hung over and feeling terrible.

Speaker 1:

What I will say that is like maybe what I would probably do from now on is like stop partying and drinking before, like the night before your flight, you know, like have fun during the day and sleep it off, that way you can get on the airplane. And you know, not do this. But yeah, I also. An airport or an airplane bathroom is disgusting. Airport bathrooms are gross too, but airplane bathroom is so gross. You hear horror stories about like the airplane bathrooms and whatnot. We won't get into that. But yeah, grody, grody, grody. Okay. So last one for Gremlin Stories. It is also anonymous. She says my Gremlin story. I think we'll take the cake.

Speaker 1:

It happened when I lost my virginity. I was born into an extremely conservative household and never had a boyfriend in high school. So when I went to college I felt free. I finally had my first kiss at 19, but nothing really happened after that. It wasn't until my 21st birthday. I had been dating this guy for several months and I really liked him. I had decided I wanted him to be my first, but I was so nervous. But since it was my 21st birthday, I was looking and feeling cute and could finally go to a bar and have some drinks with friends. I was the youngest of the group and we weren't really into going to parties, so I ordered my first drink, a vodka, cranberry, and it made me feel fun. Then I got my second drink, a margarita, and I felt even more fun. Oh, you're mixing. I had several more drinks before my friends told me no more, but it didn't matter.

Speaker 1:

I had decided to take my boyfriend back to my place so we could finally do the deed. After asking me several times if it was okay, we finally started, but I didn't really know what to do, so I kind of just laid there, oh God. But the shaking from the bed started to make me feel queasy and the next thing I knew I was puking on the side of the bed and he jumped off of me. He ran and got me a trash can for me to continue. While he helped me to the bathroom. I woke up the next morning to him cleaning up after me, so I didn't have to deal with too much of a disaster. He was really the sweetest, my most embarrassing moment, coupled with a nice guy. A couple weeks later we actually successfully had sex and I'd like to think that's how I lost my virginity, rather than the actual mess. That's the actual story.

Speaker 1:

Anonymous, oh girl, okay. Again, number one you can't mix vodka and then tequila. Girl, you're lucky you didn't throw it beforehand. You probably wish you would have, actually, because then you wouldn't have been in the midst. And I don't think anyone has a good losing their virginity story. I don't Like you. What I'll? I will talk about that eventually on a later podcast. I'll need someone here with me so I can banter back and forth and hopefully whoever I have on has a terrible story as well. I mean, there's I don't think there's a good story is there? I don't know it's not like it's in the movies and you know it's all like romance and you know, music with rain or some shit, I don't know. But yeah, I don't think anyone has a nice story, so don't feel too bad. But yeah, eventually I'll tell that story today and the day and I'm going to drink some wine, because now I'm thinking about it and I feel like I'm getting all red. Drink some wine, because now I'm thinking about it and I feel like I'm getting all red. Okay, and that's the end of the gremlin stories.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so, if you don't already know, I am starting a new segment. It was inspired by a submission from Joey and Joey told me a story that and they say it in here they're not sure if it's really a gremlin moment, but they enjoyed listening to my what's the word? Excitement over what had happened in a past episode, where a woman flipped out at a bridal shower because her ex-boyfriend was getting married. So I said I absolutely love to gossip, I love being in the know, I love knowing all that shit. It's just, like you know, gets me real percolating. So they sent in this story. So now we have a new segment called Gremlin Gossip. We have gremlin guidance, we have gremlin gossip. I'm kind of bummed. I like we have gremlin stories. Is there another word for stories that starts with a G? Because the alliteration, like you know, really gets my engines revving. I love alliteration. So if someone knows a synonym for story or stories that starts with a G. Let me know. I did look it up and I couldn't find anything that worked. So if you think of something I'm sure there's people out there that are way smarter than I am write in and let me know what I could change gremlin stories to so that it can all be alliteration and all be like so cute. So yes, joey sent in the very, very first gremlin gossip. Joey says After listening to a past episode where the girl witnessed a gremlin have a meltdown at a bridal shower, I thought I should write in. Not really sure if this counts as a gremlin moment, but I thought maybe you'll appreciate the gossip.

Speaker 1:

This happened back in 2021. A coworker of mine had to postpone his wedding due to the pandemic. So after almost a year after the original planned date, the wedding was finally set. We were all sitting down waiting for the bride to walk down the aisle. The groom is smiling at the front and the music begins playing. She's walking down with her dad and halfway through you can see her face change and she becomes super anxious. I could tell I wasn't the only one who noticed, but I didn't know what the issue was. So the ceremony continues and the bride looks really uncomfortable. She keeps glancing in the audience. Her eyes are darting back and forth. The groom definitely notices and you can see them whispering at the altar. She suddenly loudly says I'm sorry. And runs down the aisle and greets a man who was sitting at an end seat. They both raced down the aisle and out of sight. I was stunned. The groom just stood there for a moment and left after her and later it was announced the wedding was called off and everyone went home. Everyone at work was speculating about what had happened, left after her and later it was announced the wedding was called off and everyone went home. Everyone at work was speculating about what had happened and it wasn't until two weeks, when he came back to work, that we all found out. Turns out his ex-fiancee is a nurse. During the pandemic she wasn't going home very often, he thought, because she was putting in so many hours at the hospital with the influx of patients. Well, she was, but she was also having an affair with a male nurse who she said she became closer to due to them dealing with the hardships together. He was not invited to the wedding but rather crashed it in hopes that seeing him would make her leave her fiance for him and it worked. They took off together and the ex had moved in with him within days of the called off wedding.

Speaker 1:

If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I would think it was the plot to a movie Signed Joey. Oh my God. Okay, I got this submission. I don't know when I got it, I have had to have to look, but, joey, I emailed you back and I gave you credit. I said thank you so much for this submission.

Speaker 1:

See, okay, this, this is the kind of things I live for. I don't have, I don't live for much, but gossip is one of them, and this, this really fed my soul. Okay, I understand feelings were involved and there was a groom that was jilted, and he is a person too. I know that and I feel terrible for him too. I know that and I feel terrible for him. But if I put myself in the girl's perspective, that was really romantic and I would, I would love to see that in person. That's so like runaway bride and like, oh, and you guys know I love Grey's Anatomy, so that's very like much. When, like, jackson stood up at the April's wedding and said you know, I love you, blah, blah, blah. And they had this whole montage and they had, you know, that beautiful song playing over. I don't know. In my head I want to live a rom-com and in reality I probably don't. But this, this was a great submission.

Speaker 1:

Joey, you created something that I didn't even know I needed. Mission Joey, you created something that I didn't even know I needed, which is gremlin gossip. So now I am inviting everyone, all my listeners. Some of you guys I'm sure have thought I don't have a gremlin story, but I'm sure you have some gossip that you want to share. Maybe it's something you have been wanting to get off your chest about yourself, or something that your best friend told you and you're like, oh, I can't tell anyone. Send it in. You can be anonymous, you can change names. Send it in and I will read it on the podcast.

Speaker 1:

And yeah, so gremlin stories, gremlin guidance, gremlin gossip. I think gremlin gossip might be like my new favorite thing. Yeah, I'm very, I am very excited for this. I have no words. I'm speechless as a podcaster who is attempting to make a living talking. I am speechless at the delight that this submission brought me. Joey, thank you so much. I did email you back. Check your inbox. Yeah, I was very excited.

Speaker 1:

So for future episodes, if you have gremlin stories, if you need gremlin guidance, you need advice on something, or if you have gremlin gossip, just something you're dying to tell someone about yourself, somebody else you can always remain anonymous. Make sure to email the podcast, emilytogremlypod at gmailcom, and if you want to follow this podcast and myself, you can find me on Instagram and TikTok emilytagramlipod. You can also watch this episode and watch all the past episodes on YouTube emilytagramlipod on YouTube. Make sure to like, follow, share, subscribe rate five stars. Do all the things. Tell your friends. Follow, share, subscribe rate five stars. Do all the things. Tell your friends. And yeah, if you listen to last episode, we're talking about manifestations and make the manifestations come true. We're aiming for the sky, all right, and I'm gonna chug this wine and revel in what was gremlin gossip. So exciting, love it, love it, love it. Very excited for you guys to listen to this episode. And yeah, cheersies to you, cheers to me, cheers to Joey and cheers to that jilted groom. Sorry, you went through that, cheersies, bye.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Emily Hogan

Host