You Can Learn A Lot From A Bad Date

A first date is basically a tiny audition for trust, and these stories prove how fast things can go off the rails. I’m coming to you on a mocktail (75 Hard is in the final countdown), then I open up a five-page doc of listener-submitted worst first dates that range from painfully awkward to genuinely scary.

We get everything: a grocery store meet-cute that turns into a surprise showdown at the ex’s workplace, a dinner date interrupted by a mom who will not stop calling and FaceTiming, and a Tinder “Netflix and chill” that ends with a phone call. We also talk about the kind of lies you can hear at a bar when someone claims they’re besties with Taylor Swift, plus the brutal moment a married man gets exposed mid-date when his wife shows up and throws wine in his face.

Between the chaos, we pull out real takeaways on first date safety, boundaries, and red flags: having your own exit plan, noticing sudden anger shifts, and paying attention when someone treats one night like instant commitment. And yes, Debbie’s story deserves a trophy for pure mayhem.

Have your own Gremlin Story? Need Gremlin Guidance? Have a juicy piece of Gremlin Gossip? Email us at EMILYTOGREMILYPOD@GMAIL.COM and make sure to tune in next week for our 1 year anniversary celebration!

Transcript

Mocktail Check And Setup

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Okay, cheers guys. Emily, Emily to Gremily here with another solo episode. We are on episode number 42, and this one is gonna be a good one. I say it every time. I'm always excited about my episodes, but this one has a lot of really good submissions. Um, first, I want to welcome any new listeners and welcome back, all returning listeners. The episode drink of the week. We are in the final countdown days of 75 Hard. So it is not a cocktail yet. And next week, unfortunately, for the one-year anniversary, I will be filming that before the 75 Heart is up. So I technically can't even celebrate the one-year anniversary with a cocktail, which seems a little sacrilegious because this podcast was built on shame and alcohol and bad decisions. So yeah, I don't know. I was almost kind of considering, like, I don't know, ending 75 Hard early, but then it's not 75 Hard. It would be like, I don't even know. Like, I still don't know like what day I'm filming. So I don't know. Yeah, I think next week has to be cocktail less. It's gonna be a mocktail. And I don't know, maybe the episode after that's gonna be like in shambles, because who knows? Maybe I'll just like face chug a Tito's bottle. Anyway, all that to say, the episode drink of this week is a raspberry rose poppy. That was a very long-winded tangent. You can see I am missing my cocktails. And it's not like I don't like miss drinking because I feel so much better, like having this like really big reset and having a lot of routine in my life. But when I do this podcast, it I like I miss the cocktail. Every other day, I like it's whatever, I don't care. But the days I podcast, I I miss the cocktails. So soon, soon. And today, our episode is going to be all about worst first dates. So I put this out two episodes ago, so basically two weeks ago. There were three submissions within that one episode that were about worst first dates. So I was like, if you guys have had terrible first dates, why don't you submit those in and we can make it an episode? I was planning on doing that in like a couple of weeks from now. Like I thought this was gonna be after the one-year anniversary. I had such an influx from just that one call to action that I was like, okay, I think I'm gonna move that up. I'm gonna make it today's episode. And if anything, if I get more submissions after this, I can make it a series because I feel like all of us have had bad dates at some point in our life. But the submissions here have had um some very bad dates. Some were um kind of cute, some were scary. And I actually I was kind of excited. I know I do have male listeners out there, but I've never had distinctly a man write in. And in this episode today, we have two submissions by men. And when I say distinctly men, I mean that like sometimes like there's names that are unisex and it could go either way. And I'm not 100% sure if it's a man or a woman submitting the story or the guidance or whatever. So these two submissions today that I'm gonna read are distinctly from my male listeners, and men keep writing in. I was really excited to get the emails, so keep it up. Although I do have some sass for one of them, but we will get to that in a little bit. Also, really quick, I didn't discuss it last episode because I didn't think it was gonna be that noticeable, but apparently it was. I am not sick, I just have allergies. It's you know, here in Los Angeles, it got really, really hot, but it's also we had the Santa Ana winds running its course and coming through. And I have really bad allergies during allergy season, so I might sound a little bit nasally, and I tried to cut it out as much as I possibly could, my sniffling from the last episode. You might still hear it today. I feel like I'm not as bad as I was last week, but I did get a few comments, people asking if I'm sick, and I'm not sick, I just have allergies. So yeah, sorry if I sound gross or annoying, but I mean, I probably sound annoying to some people all the time, but whatever. Yeah, I don't I'm not sick, I don't have a cold, it's just allergies, and my crazy nose gets, you know, a little overactive when allergy season hits. So sorry about that. I try to cut out all the sniffling as much as possible, but sometimes it sneaks its way in there. Okay, and let's start with, let's see. I actually I've said this prior before, but today I have a five-page document. I think the longest document I've ever had was like three pages. So we got some stories to get through. It's going to be a fun episode.

The Ex Girlfriend Work Ambush

SPEAKER_00 5:30

The first submission came to us from Mia. And Mia says, I had met a cute guy at the grocery store and we exchanged numbers. He said he wanted to take me out on a date, but the restaurant he picked was almost 45 minutes away. He said he would drive since it was a little out of the way, and I agreed. When we get to the restaurant, it was just a normal restaurant. I thought it was going to be this mussy, beautiful, fancy place that we came all the way to, but it wasn't. When we were seated at the table, he starts looking around nervously. I start thinking, ugh, he took me to a faraway restaurant because he has a girlfriend close to where we live. I ask him and he insists that's not true, and begins to be extremely loving, caressing my face, pushing a hair behind my ear, and holding my hand while gazing into my eyes. I was getting lost in the moment when a woman comes up to our table in a hurry. It was a waitress, and I just thought she was coming to deliver our drinks when she says, quote, You seriously had to come to my work, you stalker? I just stare at her, completely perplexed, and that's when she unleashes on me this tirade about how I better stay away from him because he's a psycho stalker, and she broke up with him six months ago, and he won't leave her alone. The manager comes over and asks us to leave. I was so embarrassed. On the way back to our part of town, I ask him what's going on, and he tells me he took me to the restaurant his ex-girlfriend works at to show her he is moving on and he has a hot new girlfriend. I was unaware that a first date automatically made me his girlfriend. I asked him to drop me off and we could pick another night for the date. I ended up dodging his calls for months, and I had to change grocery stores. Mia. What a creep. Um, you know, I thought this story was gonna end with her saying because he dropped her off at her place. I thought it was gonna be like a he started like hanging out outside my building kind of a thing. Luckily, it didn't amount to that, so that's good. But that sucks. You have to change your grocery stores. You go to like one specific grocery store all the time because it's like in close proximity to your house and it's convenient. So that's like kind of a bummer to have to change your grocery store. I'd be mad if I had to like switch mine up. So that's like super annoying. And what a bummer. It starts as such like a promising meat cute, like at the grocery store. Like, I feel like that's like a very quintessential rom-com meat cute. And it ended with um this creepazoid stalking his ex-girlfriend. What a freak.

Road Rage Date And Escape Plans

SPEAKER_00 8:14

You know, okay, so I said I was gonna share my worst first date, and I was trying to think if like, was there one that I like forgot about? And unless I really, really buried it in the back of my mind, I can't think of anything else. Like, and the story I'm gonna tell isn't all that bad, but I'm gonna pair it with this story just because he picked her up and drove kind of far. So I went on a date with this guy. I'm not even gonna like bother like going into the story of like how I met him and whatnot, because it's really not that interesting. I had him pick me up, which was mistake number one, because if you don't really know the guy, then you know you don't really want him to know where you live. And if the date is bad, then you can, you know, kind of skeed atle or like escape on your own. So I had him pick me up, and I wasn't like super thrilled about the date to begin with. Like, I was kind of just like, I kind of went on it. Like, I don't know, it wasn't even for the plot, it was just like a I guess kind of a thing. Like, I needed something to do that night, which kind of makes me sound bad, but whatever. Anyway, so he picks me up and I almost I'm like 99% sure we went to the Century City Mall, which, if you live in Los Angeles or you just know the area, that area is extremely congested during its peak traffic hours, like it's just a well-known fact. So we were gonna go see a movie at that theater, and then we were gonna do dinner afterwards. So we're driving to Century City, and there's a of course a shit ton of traffic. Like, I wasn't surprised by it, but for some reason he seemed to be really like shocked and surprised that there was traffic. And when I tell you the road rage that came out of this guy, I was like sitting in the passenger seat, just like shocked. I was so weirded out. He was trying to like cut in and out of cars, just like really aggressive. And look, I'm not like the best driver, and I can be a little aggressive on the road, but this was like next level. I was just like kind of holding on for dear life, and in the middle, in between his like rants and raves, he's like trying to talk to me in like a normal voice. It was just it was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde just like going back and forth. Like his personalities were giving me whiplash. So we get to the Century City Mall, and by the time we get there, because of traffic, we're too late to go see the showing of whatever movie we were gonna go see. I don't even remember what movie it was. And he was unreasonably mad, and it's not like there wasn't another showing, like you know, in a little like a little bit later. So I just remedied the situation and was like, well, why don't we do dinner first and then we can do the movie? Like it's a normal response. When in all reality, I was trying to remember, like, I remember feeling so stuck in that date and at the mall. And the Sentry City Mall is not that far from where I lived. So I don't know why I felt stuck. And then I was like, was this before Uber was like a popular main way of getting around town? Because I do remember, which makes me sound like a dinosaur, I do remember having to call a cab like before Uber and before I had bought a car for myself. So in I'm like, it had to have been before Uber was popular. Otherwise, if that were to happen to me, like uh in recent times, I would just like as soon as we got to the mall and in a safe space, I'd be like, actually, I need to go and call myself an Uber and get the hell out of there. I don't know why I didn't do that. So it has to be pre-Uber, which makes me feel old. Anyway, we switch around, we do dinner first, and then we do the movie, and I just couldn't get over the the road rage and the fact that his personality just like switched on a dime. It didn't happen again, like he didn't get like abnormally mad about anything at dinner or at the movie, and driving me home was fine because there wasn't traffic, so it was just like traffic was his trigger, but it was just the total like switch from screaming at someone because they won't let him in to then asking me, Oh, so what do you like to do on the weekends? It was just strange, and nothing ever came, nothing came from it. I didn't go out on another date with him. I was just like, you know, I was that I played that whole like, I'm gonna be really busy for, you know, of the foreseeable future. I don't know what I said to him, but yeah, I hope he, you know, went to anger management or something. It was just so strange. What a weirdo. There's actually a perfect way for me to describe this. It was from the show Friends, and it's when Rachel is dating Ben Stiller's character. He's only in one episode because that's all it took for him to freak out, but he's, you know, she had just broken up with Ross. So, you know, her and her new boyfriend, Ben Stiller, go to this play and they run into Ross and his date, and the girls go to the bathroom, and Ben Stiller freaks out on this elderly couple who is accidentally sitting in their assigned seats. So he freaks out, he screams at them in front of Ross. And then when the girls come back, he's totally normal. And then no one believes Ross that when he says, like, hey, this guy's crazy, he's like being a he's a weirdo, he's scary because they think he's just being a jealous ex-boyfriend. And then finally he screams in front of everybody, and they're like, Oh, Ross was right, and this guy is crazy. That's exactly what it was like. It was strange, it was just like the flip of just all like, what the fuck are you doing? And then, like, hey, so how are you today? It was absurd. Absurd. Okay, so the next story we have is Hannah. And

Mom Calls Four Times Mid Date

SPEAKER_00 14:13

okay, Hannah says, When I was taking classes at the local community college, I started crushing on this gorgeous boy in my class, like Abercrombie and Fitch model gorgeous. Anyway, so we decide to go out after class and get a bite to eat. While we are waiting for our food, his mom calls him. He answers, lets her know he's at a restaurant, and they hang up. No big deal. The date continues, and they feel like we're really vibing, and his phone rings again. His mom. He answers. This time they talk longer. He tells her where we're at, who he's with, and what he ordered. I thought it was weird, but he was so pretty, I was willing to overlook it. Our food arrives, and before I'm able to take my second bite, she calls again. This time she FaceTimes him and asks to see me. So now I have to talk to this random lady when all I want to do is eat my enchiladas and stare at my date. She asks me a ton of questions and then says, We should come over after our date. I chuckled nervously and he hangs up a few minutes later. Then I swear to God, not even two minutes later, she calls back and they talk again. I was finally fed up with it, and I say, Wow, she calls a lot. And he says, Yeah, she gets anxious when I'm not home. I stopped. He lived at home. I was panicking, thinking maybe I was on a date with a child. And I asked him, How old is he? He replies, 23. Okay, so not a child, just a man with an extremely clingy mother. And this lady called three more times before the check came. No amount of good looks to make up for this, so I cut my losses. I would still stare at him in class though. Hannah. Aye, mommy issues. Um, you know, I think it's great for a guy to have a good relationship, you know, with his mom. I think it's great for anyone to have a great relationship with their mom. I'm jealous. But this is extreme. Extreme. But I do understand going out with someone who's just really pretty and you kind of put up with their annoyance because they're pretty. There was this one guy. Ugh, I really like to look at him. He was he was so gorgeous. Like, and he did, I want he did kind of look like an Abercrombie and Fitch model. I know he wasn't like scary close with his mom, though. I was gonna say, I wonder if it was the same guy. But yeah, he he was so pretty, but he was kind of a douche. It didn't take me long for to get sick of him, but man, he was pretty. Ugh. Like prettier, like I can't go out with a guy who's prettier than me. And he was prettier than me. It kind of made me a little self-conscious, actually. So I wonder what he's up to now. Alright, next one is Anonymous, and this one made me clutch my pearls. It's a short one too, but I was like, okay.

Tinder Hookup Interrupted By Labor

SPEAKER_00 17:13

Anonymous says, I don't think this counts as a first date, but I met this guy from Tinder and decided to go to his apartment for some Netflix and chill. And then she put a little winky face. In the middle of hooking up, his phone rings and he stops, gets off of me, and answers the phone. He immediately begins getting dressed and starts hurrying around. When he hangs up, I ask, What is happening? And he says he has to go because his ex-girlfriend is in labor with their baby. He starts throwing my clothes at me and tells me to hurry. We both rush out the door and I say to him, Good luck. Congratulations. I didn't process everything until I got home and I didn't know whether to laugh or reassess my life. Anonymous. Oh God. Yeah, I I have nothing for this one. When you said that he started hurrying around, I thought it was gonna be that like his current girlfriend was like on her way home early from like, I don't know, a trip or work or something. I didn't think that there was gonna be a baby that was being welcomed into the world. I was like shocked. It that that was a good one. And I would laugh and reassess my life. I wonder what he's up to now as well. Like, what are you doing? Also, like that's kind of brazen of him to like have a a date over at his apartment when at any moment he could be called away. Did he not think of that? I mean, I guess, yay, that he's a responsible person and he immediately got up and like ran to the hospital excited. Like it thank god he didn't finish his date. But yeah, okay, let's move on. The next one is from Sam. Okay.

Fast Moving Romance And Fallout

SPEAKER_00 19:13

Sam says, Have you ever heard that joke that lesbians move quickly? What does a lesbian bring with her on a second date? A U-Haul. I had never heard that joke before, and that is pretty funny. Okay. Well, it turns out it's true. I had just come out and was finding my footing in the new dating world. I wasn't sure how to meet new people, so I went to a gay bar. I was just planning on having a drink while people watching, but a beautiful woman sat next to me and we struck up a conversation. I told her my whole story and she comforted me, telling me it gets better, and we talked almost until the bar closed. I decided to take a leap of faith and invite her back to my apartment. The next morning I wake up and she's in the kitchen cooking me breakfast, which I thought was very thoughtful. But after breakfast, she starts planning out our days. I was confused. I told her I had a busy week coming up and I could text her later in the week and we could plan a date for the weekend. She agrees, but then all week she's blowing up my phone and then tells me she has a wedding to go to in a couple months. And did we want to wear different shades of purple to be, quote, a little matchy matchy? Ugh. I was unaware that one night made us a couple. I wasn't looking for a relationship. I started to feel like a guy because I wanted to see what else is out there. So I started to be really distant. I felt bad, but she was smothering me. She called me out and I had to just tell her that while I liked her, I wasn't ready for a relationship. She called me a lot of terrible names and then banned me from the bar we met at, which sucked because I really liked that bar. Sam. Wait, you're like the first girl. She had to change her grocery stores, and it was another person who immediately thought they were an item. Um, okay, I had never heard the lesbian joke before, but that's actually pretty funny. So thank you for that. Also, okay. Quote, a little matchy matchy. I think I say that. Is it really cringy? Now I'm wondering if I've been cringing people out with like the way I say things. I probably have. Matchy matchy. I'm almost positive I've said that at some point. I feel like I for sure have said it to my boyfriend if I wanted this to be like a little matchy matchy for an event. I kinda hate myself now. I'm gonna have to ask him if I've said that before. I for sure have. There's no way I've just been saying it in my head and I haven't like spewed it out of my mouth. Oof. Okay. Well, let's move on.

Hookup Theft And Host Sass

SPEAKER_00 21:54

Okay, the next one is our first male submission. And this is the one I I have some Sass for. So, Mr. Derek, this is what you said. I invited a girl back to my house, and the morning after we hooked up, she was gone, and so was my wallet. I hit her up multiple times and she blocked my number. So I canceled all my cards and had to replace everything. I almost didn't write in, but I know you kleptos like to stick together. L-O-L Derek. Excuse you. Like how rude. I I might have talked about my klepto tendencies in the past, but I never stole from people's or from homes. It was just, you know, maybe a nail polish here and there from like a big box store. So, Derek, you can shove your sass up your ass. Like, how rude. I know you klepto like to stick together. Meh meh meh. What a brat. Although I don't want to discourage the men listening from writing in. I have nothing mean to say to the other man that wrote in. But Derek, you you want to hit me with some snark. I'm gonna hit you right back with it. Although, not that I want to prove this guy's point, but I used to have this joke. It doesn't make me look good. That actually I wasn't my joke. I saw a meme of it, and then I added to it. I said it the meme said if I go to a guy's house and he doesn't make me come, I'm stealing something. So I sent that out to my klepto friends because we stick together, and then I added to it that if that was the case, I could furnish my entire apartment, which was a total exaggeration, and it's such a joke, and it makes me sound you know a little loose, but it was just a joke, but it made me think of that meme. You didn't have to be snarky though, Derek. But thanks for listening in and thanks for submitting your story. Keep it up. Okay. The

Surprise Virgin Confession Afterward

SPEAKER_00 23:58

next one is from Taylor. Taylor says, My sister set me up with a friend of hers. She's two years younger than me, and normally I wouldn't date someone younger, but at that time I was 28 and he was 26, so it didn't really seem like that big of a deal. Plus, he was hot, so why not? We go out for a chill dinner and drinks, and against my better judgment, I invite him back to my apartment. Normally I would never sleep with someone on the first date, but he was so sweet and charming and thought it would be harmless. Oh gosh. Okay. After we're done, I'm lying there and thinking, wow, he's really bad. He was just so awkward and it seemed like he had no idea what to do. And as if he could read my thoughts, he turns around and starts blabbering that he was a virgin and he's sorry if it wasn't what I expected, but he didn't know how to tell me, and also he really liked me and he just kept going on and on and on. I laid there wide-eyed. I didn't want to give him a complex, and the date was a good date before that. So I said no worries, and to calm down, I didn't think he was terrible, even though he was. The next day he sent me flowers to my job, which was a sweet gesture, but I had to tell my sister what happened. She was stunned he was still a virgin and had absolutely no clue. We dated for a few months after that, and he did get better, but he still wasn't doing it for me. So not the worst first date, but shocking, Taylor. Oh god. Um, yeah. Um, I don't really have anything to add to this story as far as I am aware. I think. I don't know. Now I'm scared to say what I'm gonna say. I don't think I've taken someone's virginity other than the guy I lost my virginity to. I think. But looking back on it, it it could be possible because some weren't very good. So again, I'm not making myself sound very good in this episode, huh? Last episode I didn't do myself any favors, and this episode I'm really not doing myself favors. Whatever. Um well, at least he wasn't like a slutty dude who was still bad at it. I'm trying to find a good spin to put on this, and that's the only thing I I came up with. But to not tell you, that's kind of a big deal. So yeah. Eeshk. I think that's all I have to say about that one is that's an eeshk. Okay, let's move on. Anonymous

The Wife Shows Up With Wine

SPEAKER_00 26:39

says, after being cheated on in my three-year relationship, my friends convinced me to download Hinge. They were both in successful relationships from the app, and I wanted what they had and what I thought I used to have as well. So after talking with a few guys and nothing special, I matched with this man, let's call him Matt. He was sweet, charming, and attractive, and I was excited to meet him. We meet at the restaurant, and he's even more handsome in person. Halfway through the date, we are approached by a woman who picks up my red wine glass and throws it in his face. It was his fucking wife. I was so ashamed to be sitting at the table with him. After she's done screaming at him and walks away, I got up and followed her out of the restaurant to apologize to her. She asked exactly what happened, and I showed her our messages and told her nothing has happened with me, and it was only our first date. I felt so terrible for her. She was crying that they have a two-year-old at home, and I ended up giving her a hug and told her she deserved better. I blocked his number, but gave her mine in case she needed my testimony in their divorce. Anonymous. I asked my boyfriend if I could do it to him, and he said no. But it was just like for funsies. Like, I'm not I don't actually want to be mad at him and like throw a drink. I just want to like throw a drink in his like in his face, like for giggles. He said no. So annoying. So, yeah, but I don't want to have to throw a drink in someone's face because I'm mad at them. I'm not looking to like find the anger. I just want to like do it just because it sounds like primal and fun. But I hope she ended up divorcing that guy and cutting him off, and what a shitty first date. Especially because you had just gotten cheated on, and you're like out there trying to forget about that, and then it's like being thrown right back in your face. Okay, the next one is from Amita.

Rejected Dessert And Instant Insults

SPEAKER_00 28:48

Amida says, Okay, I've been on a lot of bad dates, but I think the worst one was a dinner date I had with this dude. He was nice enough on the date, but kind of a dud. I didn't feel any chemistry and we had nothing in common. I was looking forward to parting ways with him because the night was kind of dragging. When it's time to say goodnight, he asks if I want to come over to his place for quote dessert. I say no thank you. I have an early morning tomorrow, and he rolls his eyes, calls me a bitch, and says, thanks for nothing. What the hell? Amida. What is up with the fragile male ego when they're told no, I don't want to sleep with you, and then all of a sudden you become ugly. You're a bitch, you're ugly, I didn't want you anyway. Like, shut up. I can't stand that. Oh my god. Some, some, I'm gonna say some, not all. Some men, they suck ass. All right, the next one is Heather.

Flat Earth Ick And Goodbye

SPEAKER_00 29:48

Heather says, technically it isn't oh god, I remember this one. Okay, technically it isn't a first date story, but it's definitely a story. I had been dating this guy for about a month and I liked him until one day I got the dreaded ick. We were sitting in a park on a gorgeous sunny day, and I made mention that a fluffy cloud looked like a dog. Now I can't remember how the conversation shifted, but he ended up telling me that he thinks the earth is flat. At first I thought he was joking, so I laughed, but he was being dead serious. The conversation eventually spiraled into him telling me he also doesn't believe in global warming. And that was our last date. I couldn't handle another conversation with him. Heather. You know, I'm trying not to be mean, but like I've had I've only met one person in my life who was who is a flat earther. And I don't like to talk about it because it's just like like, are you well? How how do how do you think the earth is flat? Like what? Like you think if you go on a cruise, you're gonna fall off the edge? It's just don't get me started. It would have been my last date with this guy too, because you're apparent and you don't believe in global warming. Don't get me started on that. I just like, are you well? No, you're not. It's um that's a frustrating conversation to have with someone because I feel like it's common sense and it's common science, and apparently for some it's not, and I'm just gonna leave it at that so I don't get any messages in my inbox. And that's that. Okay. Our next submission is from Anthony, our other male submission.

Ghosting Comes Back As Roommate

SPEAKER_00 31:38

Anthony says, I was set up by my sister with this girl who she was going to school with. We went on a couple of dates and I liked her. After a few dates, she invited me back to her place and we fooled around. The next morning, she's walking me to the door and tells me her roommate is probably in the living room. When we get to the living room, she goes to introduce us and we both freeze. Her roommate was a girl I hooked up with a few months back, but ghosted after we hooked up. She starts going on and on, calling me a pig and a user and to get the fuck out of her house. My sister found out and started scolding me about how I shouldn't be hooking up with girls and not calling them back. And the girl I liked stopped speaking to me. Fun date, Anthony. Okay. Um tech they're technically not wrong, Anthony. But I do appreciate you writing in. And I do appreciate the fact that you you did realize that what you did was wrong. And your sister is right. You shouldn't hook up with someone and then ghost them. I feel like we've all done it before. Again, I'm not coming out very I'm not coming out looking like a rose in this episode, am I? But whatever. It's fine. But you know, just don't do it again. How about that? You did it once, don't do it again. And cause look, because then you could have lost out on the love of your life. And your sister scolded you, that couldn't have been fun. Okay, the next submission is from Kendra. Kendra

Music Producer Lies And Vanderpump Rant

SPEAKER_00 33:06

says, okay. As a fellow Vanderpump Rules fan, I thought you'd like to hear about the guy I met at a bar who could have given Jax a run for his money. Ugh. As soon as I saw the name Jax, I was like, great, here we go. All right. I live in Nashville and met this guy at a bar who said he was a big hotshot music producer from Los Angeles. Nashville has a very lively music scene, so it wasn't unfathomable for this guy to be out here for work. I asked him who he has worked for, and he says he was top build on Justin Bieber's albums. He's written songs for Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, and I was like, wow, pretty cool. But then he says he's extremely close with Taylor Swift, and that's why he's here in Nashville, because he's helping her with her new album. My ears immediately perked up. As a lifelong Swiftie, I immediately caught his lie because this was dead set in the middle of the Eras tour, and she was in Europe. I wanted to catch him in More Lies, so I kept asking questions. And he said he had a meeting with her tomorrow at the studio, and he's become besties with Travis Kelsey, and he's gonna be traveling to a Chiefs game next week. All this stuff. Lies, lies, lies, and more lies. At this point, I decided to have more fun with him and have him buy me drinks, and the drunker he got, the more outrageous his tales became. All of a sudden, he was a world traveler who was invited to Michael Jackson and Prince's funerals. He went to Miley Cyrus's wedding, and he's planning post Malone's tour. It was laughable. I finally had enough, and I tell him I needed to get going, and thanks for the drinks. And he asked me to go to his hotel with him. I asked where he's staying, and this fucker says the Ramada. I laughed in his face and tell him no, and he needs to research these celebrities before he makes up lies. And I left. Not really a date story, but it was a fun story, Kendra. Okay. Alright, so when I saw the name Jax in here, I was like, oh god, like where's this going? This could go so many ways. Because if you don't know Vanderpump Rules and who Jax Taylor is, you should be watching Vanderpump Rules. But to if you don't know who Jax Taylor is, you're not missing out on much because he's a piece of shit. But basically, this guy is just such a liar. Like he's always telling these tales. Like, like there was this one season where I'm basically gonna end up telling you about this guy I hate. It was this one season where he had just had his girlfriend move from Kentucky to Los Angeles to be with him. And then when she was integrated into the group and like was friends with everyone, and honestly, she became better friends with everyone than he was friends with everyone because a lot of people were sick of his bullshit. He made up this story that a recruiter from Tampa for whatever hockey team is in is based in Tampa that he was being recruited to run their social media. It's like when I say this out loud, it sounds so stupid. I don't understand how he didn't run it back in his head before he said it out loud and was like, actually, hold on, wait, let me adjust the story. This guy had no social media managing background, no nothing. Like, why would the Tampa Bay, whatever they are, hockey team, recruit a reality TV star in Los Angeles to do their social media? Like, it makes no fucking sense. Obviously, and that he was adamant it was true. It was just like, shut the fuck up. He also said like Channing Tatum was his roommate, like right before Magic Mike. It's like, no the fuck he wasn't, you weirdo. Anyway, I obvious if you can't tell, I can't stand this guy. So yeah, maybe this guy could give Jax a run for his money because yeah, Michael Jackson and Prince's funeral. Impressive. It also made me think of there was this manager who I had, and we would all joke about it because he he would just tell these like really like tall tales, but I really do believe he believed them. Like he it was just like it was a pathological liar, but also it's like I feel like there was like some kind of like mental disorder going on there, which I don't mean to laugh at like mental disorders, it was just like outrageous. Like when I first met him, he talked about how he was like a decorated like military veteran, and I was like, oh wow, like that's so cool. And then it just like the longer I got to know him, it just spiraled into like I don't know, he was on like SEAL Team Six and shit like that, and then it was like he's done this and that, and he at one point he said he could bench press 400 pounds. Like, I I can see you, man. I see what you look like. No, you can't. It was just wild shit to the point where, like, and we would get people would get stuck with him too. Like, he would come up to you, or you'd have to go in the office to get something to and you was you were trying to just go in and out, and he'd stop you and you'd be like, Oh, great, I'm gonna be stuck here in a story. And sure enough, every single time you saw him, he had a story to tell you. It was just on and on, and it got to the point where, like, if someone saw that you had just like had a conversation with him, and you know, everyone had that dejected walk walking away from him like they were just like tired, and we'd be like, Oh, did he tell you about how that one time he went to the moon? And it'd be like, Yeah, totally. Yeah, and then he met an alien, and then this and that. It was just it was ridiculous. So I wonder why people are like that. They just like tell pathological lies. Like, what is that? What's up with that? I don't need to investigate it or deep dive it. I'm just, you know, speaking my thoughts. And this next one is our last submission. And I saved her for last for a reason. This is from Debbie. Debbie

Broken Nose Date Wins Gold

SPEAKER_00 38:57

says, if you're giving out awards for the worst date, I think I deserve a prize. I was really excited for a date with this guy I met at work. I was working as a waitress and he was just hired as a busser. We decided he would pick me up and we would go to dinner at the pier and then take a little walk near the water. Sounds romantic, right? Too bad we never made it there. For some reason, I decided I wanted to wear heels to be extra fancy. And while walking up the steps to the restaurant, my heel got caught in the crack in the steps, and I started overcompensating my movements to prevent from falling. It didn't work. I fell so hard right on my face and hear a pop sound, and then just pain and warmth exploded. The popping sound was my nose hitting the deck and breaking. My date tried to help me, but as soon as he saw the blood, he passed out. So there were just two sad souls laying in front of this restaurant. I'm so sorry. I do not mean to laugh at you. I just I mentally pictured it right now. Okay. The hostess called the ambulance and tried to help me stop the bleeding while the patrons were trying to revive him. When he came to, he threw up when he saw me completely saturated with blood. The bright spot was he came to visit me the next day with flowers and treats, but only after he called to make sure there wasn't any blood still spewing. But I ended up having to have surgery because my nose was so busted. So, all in all, it was an absolutely terrible date. Debbie. Oh Debbie, you poor baby. I'm so sorry. I don't mean to laugh. I just I laugh when people fall. I am so sorry. I it I I did this last time when the lady fell down the stairs. It's just I when someone falls, it's funny to me. And I don't mean to laugh. It's like it's a one of my fatal flaws. Okay, um, I was kind of hoping you were gonna end the story saying, like, and now you you're engaged, or now you've been married for you know five years, or I don't know. I was kind of hoping it was gonna end with that. I like I'd like to know, are you guys still together? That poor guy, he probably felt so embarrassed too over the fact that he couldn't help you because he was incapacitated. And it's not like you would find out that someone's afraid of blood unless there's blood present. Like, that's not something that you like just talk about, like, oh yeah, I can't stand the sight of blood. This poor guy, and your poor nose, the popping sound, oh, that made my nose hurt too. Oh gosh. Um, uh Debbie, I'm so sorry. And and you know, I wasn't thinking about how I should be giving out like gold, silver, and bronze medals to like the worst dates, but if I was, I think you should get gold. Just because this had like a lot of follow-up where you had to have surgery, you had a broken nose. Like it was like the date never started, but it also never ended because there were so many like consequences and ramifications after the fact. Like, you you get the gold medal for worst first date, I think. Yeah. Um, I don't have anything to add to this either. Again, I have no wood in here. I don't know why I keep saying like I say it a lot, knock on wood, and I have no wood. Knock on my head again. Knock on wood. I've never broken my nose or fallen on my face like that. I mean, I've tripped and I've fallen, and I have broken bones before, but never my nose. My nose has enough issues, as some people pointed out to me last time because I was nasally an allergy ridden. But yeah, I have enough issues with my nose. I don't need it to break. Now I'm gonna be scared to like walk out of here. I don't want to like trip or something and fall as like karma for laughing at poor Debbie. Debbie, gold medal for you. Worst first date. It's for you, babe. You got it. Okay,

More Submissions And One Year Tease

SPEAKER_00 42:55

guys, that was our episode. This episode, we had 12 submissions. And last episode technically did have the most submissions because I did count them out. There were 33 that I had included into the episode. Just a lot of people had written in the same scenario. But this 12 submissions from 12 different people, that's our most jam-packed episode. And I didn't even include all of them in here because I wasn't sure how long this episode was gonna go, and I didn't want it to be too long. Like I get self-conscious if it's too long, but I also get self-conscious if it's too short. I need to find my sweet spot. So there are more stories that I didn't include in here, and I'm sure I'm gonna get more stories after this. So I will put out another call to action right now, and I'll just keep it out there. If you have a worst first date story, please email that in, submit it in, and it can be included in a future episode where we do this theme again worst first dates. And if you would like to follow myself and the podcast, you may Do so at Emily Gremlinly Pod on Instagram and TikTok. I need to update the TikTok, guys. I have fallen behind again because I don't know. It's like I know I need to do it and then I don't do it. And then weeks have passed and I just I hate myself. I will update the TikTok. Also, you can watch this episode and almost all the past episodes on YouTube at Emily to Gremlied Pod on YouTube. If you have your own Gremlin story, you need Gremlin guidance, or you have a juicy piece of Gremlin gossip, you can submit that into the podcast. You can email those submissions at EmilyTegremlépod at gmail.com. And if you want, you can message or DM me on Instagram or TikTok, whichever you prefer. Next week, we are doing the one year anniversary of the podcast. It is going to air next week, Tuesday, March 31st. Technically, the one year anniversary is Wednesday, April 1st, but I wasn't gonna release the episode on a different day than I normally do because it was gonna like mess up the order. So one year anniversary is next week, Tuesday, March 31st. I still don't know what I'm doing for that episode, guys. I have a lot of ideas. You have sent in some ideas as well. I'm going to incorporate them in here, but I'm still kind of all over the place trying to figure it out. So if you have any more ideas or you have new ideas, send those in emily to Gremlinlypod at gmail.com or you can message or DM me on social media at EmilyTegremilypod on Instagram and TikTok. You can also comment on the YouTube videos as well if you want. I don't know. And make sure to like, follow, share, subscribe, rate five stars, do all the things. We're gonna cheers out with the Raspberry Rose Poppy. And soon it will be a cocktail. Soon, soon, soon. I'm getting sick of these mock tails, I gotta tell you. So cheers to you, cheers to me, cheers to all of you listeners. We are almost at our one year anniversary, and I'm super excited. And we're gonna cheers to Debbie because Debbie, you for sure had the worst first date. So cheers, these guys. Bye.