Strawberita Ruined My Algorithm And Shots Ruined My Week

One vodka shot turned into a full-on recording disaster, a mini cry, and a missed upload and it humbled me fast. I’m back with a Dirty Shirley, the real story of what happened after I finished 75 Hard, and the line I’m drawing now: cocktails are fine, but shots are not my friend anymore.

I also finally answer the questions you’ve been emailing about my 75 Hard experience: what I loved about the routine and structure, what I hated about the lack of freedom, and what actually made the challenge hard. I get into the practical stuff that changed my day-to-day life, like committing to home-cooked meals, staying consistent with walking for sunlight and mood, and using accountability content to keep me honest. If you’re into habit building, wellness routines, meal prep, or just figuring out how to stay disciplined without burning out, there’s a lot here to steal for your own reset.

Then we pivot into content creation reality. I’m behind on TikTok clips, I’m building a content calendar, and I’m starting a new challenge. I also confess what’s living on my TikTok algorithm lately, including cleaning resets, baking inspo, astrology, witchy rituals, and the cursed AI fruit soap operas I can’t stop watching.

Finally, Gremlin Guidance gets spicy: Anonymous gets excluded from a wedding invite addressed only to her boyfriend, while everyone else gets a plus one. I share my blunt take on wedding invitation etiquette, relationship boundaries, and what it means when your partner won’t stand up for you.

Have your own Gremlin Story? Need Gremlin Guidance? Have a juice piece of Gremlin Gossip? Email us at EMILYTOGREMILYPOD@GMAIL.COM

And make sure to like, follow, share, subscribe and rate 5 stars!

Transcript

Welcome Back And Dirty Shirley

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Okay, cheers guys. Emily, Emily to Grammy here with another solo episode. I want to welcome any new listeners and welcome back, all returning listeners. Thanks for tuning in. The episode Drink of the Week. We are officially done with 75 Hard. So we have a cocktail for the first time in I don't even know how many episodes. I should have gone back and looked, but I didn't. But many, many episodes. We haven't had a cocktail. We've been dealing with mocktails. And I don't know why. I thought my first drink back was going to be a martini, but I kind of got on like a Shirley Temple kick during my mocktail phase. So, and Poppy came out with a Shirley Temple flavor. I don't know if it's new or if like I'm just kind of late to the party, but it's really good. It's new to me. And I had it on as a mock tail two episodes ago, three episodes ago. I'm not sure. Either way, and I kind of got it in my head, I really wanted a dirty Shirley. So that's what I have today. I have Poppy Shirley Temple with vodka. And this is not my first cocktail back since I ended 75 Hard. I missed last week's episode.

The Shot That Killed Recording

SPEAKER_00 1:35

And there is a reason for it. I planned on filming that episode, and I got dressed, I did my makeup, I did my hair, I got my cocktail ready, and I had this bright idea that I was going to start the episode off with a shot. And I hadn't drank yet since ending the 75 Hard. My boyfriend even had asked me the weekend after I ended 75 Hard. He's like, Hey, do you want to do like dinner and drinks? And I said no because I wanted to wait to have my first cocktail on the podcast with all of you guys, which was a mistake. So I go to get ready on Monday, the day before the podcast is supposed to air on Tuesday, which I've been doing lately. It's not really working out for me in that sense. I need to be a little more prepared, but whatever. It usually works out. I get ready on Monday. I have my outline all set up. I know exactly what I'm gonna talk about. And I was like, I'm gonna start the episode with a shot of vodka and then talk about my episode drink, which last week it was a dirty Shirley, same as today. And I'm gonna start the podcast. And I had the shot, my very first one on camera. And I got about like maybe two minutes into the episode, and it all fell apart. I couldn't speak, I couldn't get my words out. I sounded like a bumbling fool, and I was like, oh my god, okay, wait, hold on. I'm gonna take a break. So I did a cut and I'm like, I'm gonna take a break. I'm gonna drink some water. I don't know, just I basically basically gather myself, and it didn't work. It's like that one shot really hit me, and I didn't really eat a whole ton like for breakfast that morning, which I should know better by now. So I thought I gathered myself enough. I was like, I'm gonna restart the beginning of the podcast and just like scrap the beginning of it and just redo it, which I did, which meant taking another shot. I swear, it's like I don't learn sometimes. Like when I say it back and like tell my story of what happened, I like I sound like an idiot. Like, get together, lady. And I took the other shot and it made me even worse, which duh, of course it would make you worse. So I get a little further into it, and I'm trying to hit all the points within my outline, and I can't do it. And I start overthinking my words because I can't get them out. Like I know what I'm saying in my head, but I couldn't get it out and say it to you guys. And I started to get frustrated, and then I just I lost it. So I started to cry a little bit, and then I was like, all right, you know what? Just gather yourself, have a mini cry, and then we'll just restart over again. Um, by the time I was done crying, I looked at myself in the mirror and I was like, Oh, you can't film this at all now because my eyes were so swollen, and you could tell I had been crying, and I had to just say, you know what, forget it, scrap it, I'm not gonna do it. And I threw like a little mini tantrum here by myself, like being so mad at myself. And I was like, finally, after you know, a couple minutes of me hating myself, I was like, you know what, it's fine. I'm just gonna get up really early Tuesday morning, film, edit, and then turn it out and hopefully publish it by the afternoon. And everything will be all gravy. And mind you, at this point, I had decided I wasn't going to film anymore. So I had my cocktail, my dirty Shirley, and I had a few more shots after that. I'll be honest about it. And I went to bed at my normal bedtime hour because I'm an old lady who has a bedtime now, and I woke up at 4:30 in the morning on Tuesday, and my nausea woke me up, and then I was just hungover. So there was no filming and like publishing it a little bit late. It just was what it was, and I had to live with my consequences, and I was mad at myself the whole day. I finally gathered myself and like felt like a normal person around two o'clock, 2 p.m., 3 p.m. But at that point, I was like, okay, you know what? We're just gonna film later in the week and we're gonna put it out for next Tuesday. It's just gonna be a missed week, and I had said before I really need to let go for the need for perfectionism. So that's what I'm doing, even though it really bothered me to miss a week. So I don't plan on missing any more weeks in the future. Even if I'm sick, I'm gonna just like power through, and maybe I might look ugly on camera, but I really need to just like power through and make it happen because I got big plans and big hopes and dreams and goals for this podcast, and you can't accomplish those goals by skipping out and missing a week or this or that. Like, you just gotta do it. So that is my plan from now on, and I realize that I think cocktails are cool for myself right now, but shots are not um, they're not my friend anymore because I used to be able to drink shots and everything was like all gravy, but that 75-day reset really like kicked me back to square one, which it I guess it's supposed to. I don't know why I'm sitting here shocked and surprised, but yeah, that set me back to the beginning. So no more shots. That's cool. I mean, I mean, eventually I will have shots, but definitely it's not going to be like it was, which I'm okay with. I'm happy for the reset. My body feels reset. And yeah, just those few drinks that I had on Monday, I like I was hung over as if I had been like partying and raging. It was bad. I hadn't had that in a long time, and it um it made me really appreciate all the days I woke up feeling refreshed and rejuvenated, and I had a good sleep. And I woke up and I was like ready to conquer my day. Yeah, Tuesday I woke up and well, actually, I was up since 4:30. So Tuesday I was just like in bed horizontal for the good first half of the day. And by the time I was able to get up and, you know, be a person and do my normal thing, it was so late in the day it felt like I had wasted the day already. So no more shots for me. But Tuesday wasn't a wasted day. I did get other work done that needed to get done, so I just kind of moved my schedule around and worked on different projects, which is fine. But yeah. So today's episode is basically going to be everything that was gonna be in last week's episode. Everything's the same. I just basically needed to start the episode by explaining why there was a missed week. But no more. There's gotta be a really good reason if I ever miss another week, and I can't think of a good enough reason at the moment. So, yes, consistency, consistency, consistency.

What 75 Hard Changed

SPEAKER_00 8:59

So I really wanted to do kind of a 75 hard recap of what exactly happened, like during those 75 days, what my process was, what the journey was about, because I surprisingly got like a decent amount of emails of you guys asking questions and wanting to know like what happened. So I'm gonna I have here listed all of the questions that you guys had sent in. So I'm just gonna kind of answer those and go over it a little bit. And yeah, let's get started. So the first couple questions I received were asking, what did I like and what did I not like about 75 Hard? And what were the biggest challenges? So, what I'll say is I really enjoyed having like a routine and a structure within my life for those days because I woke, I did the same thing every day for the most part for the 75 days. I would wake up, I would have breakfast, and I'm a creature of habit, so I would have like the same two or three breakfast options in rotation, and then I would decide do I want to do my walk first or do I want to do my Pilates video first? That was really the only difference in my day, is which one I did first, and then I would do some work and then I would have dinner and then I would go to bed, and that would be my day. So I enjoyed having the routine and the structure for the most part. So that's what I really liked about it, but also it was kind of a downfall as well because I didn't enjoy the lack of freedom, meaning I don't mind having a structure. But if I needed to switch up my schedule because I had something going on like on that Tuesday or that Saturday, it was like I really had to reconfigure what I was doing, or there were some things I didn't go to or didn't do because I was like, all right, well, no, I have to do this because I committed to this. And I was trying to be as intentional and as committed as possible to finishing 75 hard. And by 75 hard, I mean 75 hard-ish, because I did say I changed some of the rules to better fit my life, but I can't change them 100% completely because then it's not the challenge. So I did enjoy the routine, but I was very excited towards the end for it to be over because there were a lot of things that I was not missing out on, but just not doing or like putting off until I had more time in my day because my days were extremely structured. It was you have to do this by a certain time, and I didn't want to be walking super late at night by myself, so I had to get everything done. So that was basically like a pro and con in and of itself. I thought my biggest issue was going to be giving up the drinking, which there were some days where I did miss it. Like when I podcast, I like having a cocktail because that's how I started this podcast was with cocktails. And there were some days where I was extremely stressed or overwhelmed, and normally I would like make myself a cocktail or make myself a martini or whatever. And I couldn't do that, but other than that, I didn't miss it at all. And after what happened on Monday nightslash Tuesday morning, I really didn't miss it. So I thought that was going to be my biggest challenge, but really it was just trying to keep myself staying consistent in the routine. And I did make a TikTok series of my journey of 75 Hard. And if I wasn't making those videos, I do think I probably would have fudged it a little bit, which I'm glad I didn't. So those videos kept me consistent because even though it's not like I'm TikTok famous or, you know, out here with hundreds of thousands of followers or likes or comments, whatever, it was still like I have to put it out there and I have to make myself accountable because if not, then I look like a big fat loser who can't commit and finish anything. So the videos kept me consistent. Also, another one of my rules was I had to only have home-cooked meals. I couldn't have like takeout or fast food or go to a restaurant, which that bummed hard for the restaurant aspect of it because you know, I like to go out to dinner and do date nights and go out with friends and this and that, but I couldn't do that. And also, there are some days where I just felt like not overwhelmed, but just like busy with work. I was editing the podcast, I'm editing different videos, I'm working on outlines, I'm sending emails, I'm doing this and that, and cooking is like kind of the last thing on my mind. And those were the days where I would normally text my boyfriend, like, hey, on the way home from work, would you mind like stopping by, you know, Chipotle, El Puyo Loco, or you know, this or that to go get us dinner for the night? And I couldn't do that, so I'm always good about meal planning and doing like meal prep and whatnot. But on the days where all of the food would run out and I would need to make a new meal for the next like two or three days, those were the days where I would normally ask, like, hey, can you get takeout? But I had to stop what I was doing and cook us food, otherwise, we have no food. So that was kind of a pain in the ass. But I did notice that it did change the way I like felt about myself because I know exactly how I cook. I don't cook with like lots of oils or butters or this or that. I'm very like health conscious when I'm cooking for myself. So I knew exactly what I was eating, I knew it was healthy. I usually knew like the macros and the nutrients and the this and that of each meal. So that that really did make a difference because at the end of the day I didn't go to bed feeling like, oh gosh, like I ate like a pig or I did this or I did that. I knew that I had like nourished my body with good food. Although I will say I did miss in and out, like in and out, nothing hits like it. So I did I did miss the food, but I didn't notice the difference in the fact that I felt just so much better. Okay,

Habits I’m Keeping After 75

SPEAKER_00 15:13

and another question I was asked was would I do it again? And am I going to continue any of the habits that I learned during 75 hard? So would I do it again? Um, never say never because who knows? Maybe in six months I'm gonna get the itch again. Because this, me starting this, it was really random. I didn't like talk about it for a long time. I wasn't debating it for a long time. I just kind of got like it, like an urge to do it around New Year's because that's you know, New Year's hits, and you feel like you have to change your life for the better. So that's kind of what happened. And then I started it, you know, a few days later. So this was a little sudden for me. I had some time to prepare, but not a ton. So now that I know what goes into it, it's possible I could do it again. I would just better prepare myself. And now I know what it takes like mentally, physically, emotionally to do it. So I do think if I did it again, I would be better prepared and know exactly what I'm walking into. Because I walked into this 100% blind. Like I've never tried it before. This was a brand new experience for me. So if I did it again, I think I would be more successful. That being said, as of right now, I have no plans to do it again. As far as if I'm gonna continue any of the habits that I had during the process, 100%. I really enjoy cooking and doing all that. And like I said, I did notice a difference in the way I felt and looked by cooking all my meals at home. So I'm gonna cook as much as possible at home. I'm gonna really limit my reliance on asking, like, hey, can you pick up this restaurant on the way home from work? Like, I really want to make sure that I keep cooking meals at home. And if I do eat takeout or go to a restaurant, it's like for a reason and for a special occasion. Like, I want it to be a little more intentional if I'm gonna eat out, as opposed to relying on it out of convenience. So that's the main thing I'm gonna keep up is the cooking at home. I'm probably not gonna keep doing the Pilates videos. I'll do them for like a little burst, like if I feel like I need like a tone-up or this or that. But I do enjoy the walks. And some days I hated them because I was feeling tired or, you know, I just wanted to curl in bed and stay in bed, but I couldn't, which that was also good for me too, because I wasn't allowed to be a hermit and a vampire and stay in my house all day. It did force me to go outside and get some sun and be a person, even if it was just for 45 minutes during that walk. But I did enjoy the walk, so I am gonna continue to do those. And I would go walking and like run local errands that are like walking distance to my house, as opposed to just like you know, driving to the location that's less than a mile away. I could I would just walk there. So I'm gonna continue to do that for the most part. You know, obviously I'm not gonna do it every day, but I am definitely gonna continue the walks because those made me feel good. Even if I hated having to get up, get ready, go for my 45-minute walk. Whenever I got back home, I would feel better and accomplished. And it was probably the sun made me feel better, let's be honest. But it did make me feel better. So that is another habit that I'm definitely going to continue. And obviously, my alcohol tolerance is not where it used to be, which is a good thing. It just shocked me that I couldn't, I don't know, hang the way I used to. I don't know. But obviously, I I did not miss the hangovers, who would, and um Tuesday really kicked my ass, so I won't be drinking as heavily or as often as I did before, which is good, and that was a good habit to break. Not that it was a habit, I obviously didn't drink every day. Like, you know, I don't think I have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol because I was able to give it up very easily, but my tolerance definitely was lowered significantly. So we're just gonna respect the boundary my body created for itself. And yeah, that's basically it. Also, I had mentioned the TikTok videos that I was making, I didn't post them on the podcast page, I was posting those on my personal TikTok just because I felt like they should be separate, because you know, 75 Hard had nothing to do with the podcast, this or that. And I still because I am just backlogged on everything, like there are a lot of videos that I still need to edit and post and this and that. Just my crazy mind, it's it's rough up here, but I have not posted every single video for 75 Hard on my personal page, so I need to get on doing that and work on that and post all those, and because I have new projects that I am going to start, and I need this project of 75 Hard TikTok series to be over because I have new things to focus on. So that's another thing. They did keep me consistent, they didn't allow me to like fudge it or not do it one day. I had to do it every single day to take the content, take the video, this and that. But I need to finish editing everything and post everything so that is still on my to-do list. I'm hoping to get that done within the next like day or so. Actually, by the time you guys are listening to this, I hope to already have been done with it. Me filming today, I hope it's within a day or so. But by the time you're listening to this, hopefully it's already done and behind

TikTok Backlog And Bigger Plans

SPEAKER_00 21:10

me. Also, since we are already on the topic of TikTok, I am still backlogged and need to post all past clips. I'm completely up to date on my Instagram. I am not up to date on my TikTok for the podcast page. Guys, I need to get on it. I it's like I know I need to do it, and then something else comes up and then I don't do it. I need to just do it. Also, I said I wanted to end the 75 Hard series because I have new projects coming up, and I do. And it's another project I'm basically creating for myself to do. This time I will have a partner. So, Jay, who you guys know, she's been on the podcast many times. Her and I were talking. And she said maybe we should do a 75 hard but content edition. So it has nothing to do with workout or dieting or anything like that. It is just 75 days straight of posting on TikTok. We've come up with our own rules. So the rules will be we will be posting two videos every single day for 75 days. We picked our start date. It is going to be on April 20th. So 420. Which kind of worked out perfectly because it gives me enough time to get my shit together. And she likes the date for her own um personal reasons. So we will be starting on 420, April 20th, which means our end date of 75 days will be July 4th. They're two easy dates to remember, and we will be posting two videos every single day. And that's going to be on my personal page. Now, I do want to carry that into the podcast page because I, like I said, I got big plans and dreams and goals. And you can't really accomplish any of those without a large social media presence. So it's I basically am going to kick my ass in gear and focus on building, yeah, my personal page as well because I like my personal page, who, you know, is my TikTok. But I need to grow the podcast page for TikTok. Instagram does well. I do have a decent amount of followers there. I, of course, want more, but TikTok, I need to ramp it up and first of all, post all the backlog of clips and then post new clips. I really want to start. I've been talking about it. I sound like a broken record. It's a little disgusting, but I want to still do behind-the-scenes clips. Um, I want to restart the cocktail making series that I did for the first, I don't know, three episodes, four episodes. I felt so awkward doing them before, but I don't know. I feel like I'm a little more experienced in front of the camera. I have new equipment, I have a better setup. So I do think I want to restart the cocktail series, and that's just additional content that's meant for the podcast page. So basically, I need to make myself a content calendar. And I said it, I believe last, well, not last week, the week before. I believe I said it last episode that I'm a person that needs a daily schedule, and I really need to plan out what days I'm going to film what content, what days I'm gonna post certain content, and I need to make an editing schedule for myself because it's a lot more intensive than I ever knew. Like podcasting is one beast, and content creation is another beast. And I remember even before I started podcasting, I would just I had a TikTok and I used it to, I was basically like a ghost TikToker because I never posted anything. I just had the account to like swipe around and just like look at other people's content, and I would see people, you know, making a ton of money through content creation, and I was always like, Oh, I can do that, that's easy, blah, blah, blah. It is not easy at all. Like the amount of work and strategizing and editing, and just there's so much work behind the scenes that nobody understands until they do it. And I can appreciate everything, like the Alex Earls out there, the amount of work that goes into her success. I can appreciate it. I I don't even I'm probably not even gonna scratch the surface of it. Actually, no, I I'm words are spells. I need to like word things differently. I am going to create a success for myself to be in the same league as Alex Earl. That's the goal. I love her videos, and she does do a lot of like her behind the scenes, like her, she does strategy meetings with her team and this and that. It's just there's so much that goes into it. And basically, my mini start to that is I need to make a content schedule for myself. And yeah, so I don't know how I'm gonna do that or if I should use like chat GPT, but I don't really like using AI to like make my life easier just because it uses up like so much water, but I don't know. I I use it every now and then, I just don't like to rely on it. But maybe I'll ask Chat GPT to make me a content schedule. I also have a backlog of videos that I haven't posted at all. Mainly they're cooking videos of different meals that I've made. So I'm gonna edit those and get those together. I basically just need to buckle down and do it, which it's easier said than done, but I need to just do it, even if that means I just kind of like shutting myself down and locking myself in my room and just on my computer, donut glazed eyes, and just get my content at least edited so I can be able to post it when necessary. So that's my goal. As far as content, I want to be posting during the 75 Hard Content edition. I really enjoy my cooking videos. I cook as much as I possibly can, so why not just film it and make it content? I love cleaning my house. I sound like a trad wife or like a housewife from the 50s, which I mean I'm not, but I really do enjoy cooking and cleaning, and I could do a lot of like cleaning reset videos. I mean, I love watching those on TikTok anyway, so why not contribute a little bit to them? For 75 Heart, I was doing basically like Day of My Life 75 Heart edition. So I want to continue doing day in my life content, and then on the flip side, day in my life podcaster edition, which I could post on the podcast social medias. So I have a lot of ideas, I just need to make it happen. Yeah, that's that's where I'm at basically. I'm basically brain dumping all of my ideas and thoughts and what I want to do onto you guys, and I'm kind of using this almost as like a digital journal, if you will, to remind myself what my ideas are because I do write everything down and I have a thousand lists like all over the place of I need to do this and do that and buy this and whatever, this and that. And I just have to actually do it. I don't know if it's my ADHD kicking in or if it's my OCD because I want it to be perfect and look a certain way. I don't know what's going on, and I don't have the money to go to a therapist for them to tell me what it is. So I just need to do it. And yeah. So thank you guys for being my sounding board of basically telling you my ideas, and now I have to do it, otherwise, I look like a weenie who

My TikTok Algorithm Confessions

SPEAKER_00 29:04

can't do anything. Also, I received an email from Eliza, and Eliza said, You haven't discussed your TikTok algorithm lately, and I love hearing what other people are watching. Eliza. So I know normally I discuss that when Jay's here because her and I are like so chronically online and we have our TikTok streak. I should have checked it before I started filming today. I want to say it's at like 670. I could be wrong though. Who knows? But she's normally the person who I talk about like TikTok with on the podcast. So I haven't done it since she was on October, maybe. Yeah, I feel like the last time she was on was Halloween. Correct me if I'm wrong. But my TikTok algorithm, it's always, always, always I like to at least have a consistent base of cleaning and reset videos, cooking videos because I need the inspiration. I've been getting a lot of baking videos lately. I think TikTok knows I want to like enter my baker era. So I've been getting a lot of like cake and cupcake recipe ideas, and it's really kind of going against all my 75 hard work because baking, it's all about sweets and sugars, and you know, I can't maintain a healthy body and have a big back while I bake all these desserts. But some of them look so good, and it's you know, springtime, and everything has like lemon and berries, and it's just everything's like pastels and florals and pretty florals, florals in springtime, groundbreaking. But everything just looks so pretty, and I want to contribute to the prettiness and the aesthetic of springtime. I also get a lot of astrology videos because you know me, I love astrology, and whenever there's like a new moon or a full moon or this or that, um, I get all those videos. I've also fallen on like witch talk. So, like ways to harness the power of the moon, how to build an altar, which I I don't have space to do that. I'm not gonna build an altar, but it's it's fun and I like all that stuff. And like feng shui and how to make your home, you know, work for you, whether you need abundance or this or that, and you know, first of the month rituals, which I I do do the first of the month rituals just because they're easy to do and I know what they are, so why not just do them and see if abundance comes to you? So I enjoy doing those. Another big part of my TikTok algorithm lately, and I'm not proud of this one actually at all. I've fallen into the hole of seeing those AI fruit videos. They're they're so stupid, guys. And I know you guys know what I'm talking about, and I know they're dumb. I don't like watching them. But I swipe and I see one, and I'm like, ugh, it's one of those AI fruit videos. And then the next thing you know, two minutes have passed. I've watched the whole thing, and you know, Strawberita was cheating on banana dude with eggplanto. And you know, it's always Strawberita being a whore. And she's cheating on this fruit with this fruit, and poor Grape Bella is, you know, Strawberita's friend, and Grape Bella, by the way, is a bushel of grapes. And you know, she is being betrayed by her best friend Strawberita, and and Strauburita stole her man, Melanito. It's just I I know too much, it's really stupid, and it it's I know they're dumb, and I watch them not every single time, majority of the time though, and I hate myself for it, but because I watch it and they make me laugh, and I stay and watch the whole damn video without realizing it. My TikTok algorithm now thinks that I love those videos, which I kind of do, but I I don't want to see any more of them. We need we need to phase them out, but that's also become a really big thing of my TikTok algorithm. I just not proud of that. Kind of bums me out a little bit. So that's basically my goals of TikTok is cut out the sh the fruit AI videos and be more consistent with having a presence on social media and growing my personal TikTok page and the podcast TikTok page, and I need to just do it. I need to stop talking about it and just do it. So hopefully, by the time I'm gonna give myself a little grace, by the time I film the next episode that you guys will hear in a week, it will already have been done and I will have started that journey because, dear lord, I need to like get it together and get a move

Wedding Invite Snub And Ross

SPEAKER_00 33:42

on. Okay, and I was actually gonna end the episode here, but I received what I think is a gremlin guidance email, and it seemed a little timely, like it needed to be addressed sooner rather than later. So I'm just gonna add it in to this episode now. I was gonna save it for next week's episode, but I think it needs attention right now. So this gremlin guidance is from Anonymous, and Anonymous says, I know you have already filmed WWGD, but I need some serious advice from an impartial bystander. This might be a little long, but I do need to give you a bit of backstory. I started dating my boyfriend, let's call him Ross, around four years ago. When we started getting serious, he introduced me to his friend group, which included his ex-girlfriend. For the sake of this story, let's name her Rachel. I was welcomed by everyone, including her, and even though I thought it was weird they were still close, I tried not to think about it too much. After about a year, my boyfriend and I moved in together and Rachel started dating this new guy. We were all one big happy friend group, and then Rachel gets engaged. Sounds like a happy ending, right? So here's where my issue is. We just received Rachel's wedding invitations in the mail addressed only to Ross. We assumed this was a mistake, but when Ross called Rachel to ask, she said they were only reserving plus ones for serious and committed couples like those who are married. I was shocked because we live together and are extremely committed to each other. Plus, I thought she considered me a friend as well and would want me there to celebrate her special day. Then, all capital letters, when I talk to a couple of other people in the same friend group, I find out that they all receive plus one invitations, and neither of them are in long-term relationships. One person is bringing someone they've been dating for about six months, and the other is bringing just a date, not someone they've been seeing for a while or has even met the bride or groom. I was stunned. I talked to Ross about it, and he basically said I needed to just let it go because it's her wedding and she's in charge of who's invited, not him. So now I'm wondering, am I overreacting? Should I confront Rachel myself? What advice can you give me and WWGD Anonymous? So, my issue is okay. I should have thought this out before I sat in front of the camera to do this. I don't know what part of this I should respond to first. Okay, number one, am I overreacting? No, it's very intentional for her to not invite you. And if in your mind you guys are on good and happy terms and there's never been any animosity or weirdness, then why are you not being included? That's odd behavior, just that alone. Should I confront Rachel myself? No, because technically Ross is right. I don't like saying that, but he is right. It is her wedding, and she has final say on who is invited to her wedding and who isn't invited. And I believe I took a pretty heavy-footed stance on the WWGD episode about weddings, and other people shouldn't be getting involved. And it's the bride and groom's guest list and nobody else's. So I don't think you should confront Rachel. My issue is Ross, and he is basically neglecting your feelings and discounting how you feel. And why is he not saying anything? Maybe not to her, but like I it just at the very least, like supporting your feelings, like saying, like, wow, you know, that is weird. It's almost like him saying nothing is taking Rachel's side. And I know that, like, if I were invited to a wedding of anyone, pretend it's not even an ex. Just like if I was invited to a wedding and my boyfriend and my long-term partner was specifically not invited, I wouldn't go. Like, we are a team, we're a unit, we go together. And it's funny, we have kind of talked about this only because we were binge watching Vanderpump Rules, and this did come up. I'll give a mini backstory for those who care. Tom Schwartz was invited to Sheena, ugh, Sheena's wedding, and Katie wasn't invited because Sheena and Katie didn't get along, and Tom was gonna go without Katie, who he had been dating and living with for years at that point, and it was a big source of contention and a big plot point for whatever season that was. Anyway, so we had talked about that when we saw it, and I said, like, would you ever go to a wedding that I wasn't specifically invited to? And he was like, Hell no. And I was like, right? Like, that's just like terrible. So I wouldn't go, he wouldn't go, and I understand Ross is friends with Rachel, but shouldn't he be choosing you, his partner of four years, over his friend and ex-girlfriend? It just my issue is technically Rachel doesn't have any allegiance to you because she's focused on her wedding, and who knows what her reasons are for inviting everyone but you. I I can't dive into that because I don't know the group dynamics. What I can say is Ross should be sticking up for you. I'm gonna be a little bold here and say he shouldn't be going. Like, plain and simple. If I were in your pos what, and then okay, you asked me WWGD, if I were in your position and he went, um, it would be a one-way ticket and there would be no home for him to come back to. Like, if you want to go, that's cool, but I'm not gonna be here when you get back. Like, it's just it it's to me, it screams disrespect. And I do feel like, why would you name them Ross and Rachel? You know those names are famous, you know they go together, and at the end of the series, at the end of Friends, Ross and Rachel end up together. They went whole 10 seasons, they dated on and off for so long, they were with other people, they married other people, and at the end of the series, they were together, they wound up together and they were each other's lobsters. I think you name them that because I think you think they still have something together. Whether or not they're I don't think there's like cheating going on. I mean, who knows? I don't know. I again, I don't know the group dynamics. I don't know if you think you're being cheated on or there's something going on with them, but I think you name them that because I think you think at the end of the day that's who they're gonna end up with. They're gonna end up with each other, they're gonna be together. So I don't want I can't tell you what to do. And also, again, I don't know the dynamics, but what I can say is my issue at this moment isn't with Rachel because who knows what her reasons are for not inviting you. My issue is with Ross because he should be comforting you and making you feel seen and not disregarding your feelings, and he should not be attending that wedding if you are not invited. And at this point, I don't think you should be asking for an invitation. You're clearly not wanted there. So what and going to a wedding, it takes like time, effort, and money. It's a commitment to go to a wedding, whether you know, it whether it's out of town or you have to get a hotel. And if not a hotel, you have to get an Uber, you're gonna buy a new dress, you're gonna get your hair done, your makeup done, whatever. It's a commitment to go to a wedding. So, why would you want to make the time commitment and the financial commitment to go to a wedding and celebrate someone who really doesn't want you there? So I don't think you should want to go to this wedding or confront Rachel to go to the wedding. She's got her reasonings and those are for her to deal with. The issue that you need to address is why is Ross not on your side, basically. That's where I'm at with that. So I don't know if I just gave you advice or not, or just told you what I would do. Basically, I I think you need to talk to your boyfriend about what the hell is going on, basically. And you need to decide whether or not this is grounds for a breakup, basically. I don't in my personal feelings of this, if this were to happen to me, if I were in your shoes, I I think I would break up with him if you went. And also, but also you don't want to say, like, oh, it's her or me. Because ultimatums don't work. If you have to get to the point of an ultimatum, you kind of know your answer. And at that point, I'd just be like, you know what? I bow out, like, go to the wedding, have fun, live your life. Bye. I think that's where I would that that would be my breaking point. I feel like I just didn't give you advice, I just told you what I would do. So my advice is talk to Ross and figure out what the hell is going on. And I hope that was okay advice, but I had to answer it as soon as I read it. I was like, okay, this is timely. I need to get to this ASAP. So I included it in here and write back and let me know what happens, what was said, what you decided. Yeah. Give me tell me the friend dynamics, the group dynamics, let me know what's going on. Email me back, let me know. And yeah, that's our episode. That's what we're gonna end on is write me back, please, because I want to know what's going on. My nosy ass is desperate to hear more details and find out what's going on.

Follow Along And Send Emails

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Okay, guys, that is our episode. If you would like to follow myself and the podcast, you may do so on Instagram and TikTok at Emily to Gremlate Pod on both. I will be updating the freaking TikToks and I will make sure I have a better social media presence. Like I said, it's one of my goals. I gotta do it. I'm gonna do it. So follow on social media, Emily to Gremlin Pod on Instagram and TikTok. You can also watch this episode and almost all the past episodes on YouTube at Emily to Gremlin Pod on YouTube. If you have your own Gremlin story, you need Gremlin guidance, or you have a juicy piece of Gremlin gossip, you can email that into the podcast and it'll Be answered or read on a future episode at emily to gremlypod at gmail.com. Or if you want, you can message or DM me on social media, whichever you prefer. And also remember to write if you want your name read on the podcast or you want to stay anonymous. That's important. A call to action that I mentioned in the last episode, and I'm just gonna keep throwing it out there at this point. If you have any episode topic or theme suggestions, or you have any guest suggestions, whether it be a specific person or profession or a hobby, I don't know. Anything you want to hear or see on the podcast, write in your suggestions. You can email those in at emilycremlypod at gmail.com, or you can message or DM me on social media because I will be checking those every single day. I already do, but I'll just be, you know, looking out for them extra, extra, extra. And make sure to like, follow, share, subscribe, rate five stars, do all the things. Again, big dreams for this podcast, and we can't do it without you guys doing all the things. So we're gonna cheers out with our dirty Shirley, which I barely drank because I'm like terrified to drink alcohol on this podcast, apparently. And cheers to you, cheers to me, and cheers to growing on TikTok and getting all my shit done, and cheers to anonymous and um figuring out what's going on with Ross and Rachel. Weird sentence, because it's 2026, but cheersies, bye!