2012 Nostalgia and Mommy Issues

Someone answers a phone call mid-hookup, purrs “Hi mommy,” and then acts like nothing happened. That’s the kind of gremlin energy we’re dealing with today, and it only gets wilder from there.

We start lighter with our Drink of the Week: a frozen-fruit mango margarita that proves you can make a legit cocktail with what you already have, even if tequila is not your best friend.

After that, we dig into Gremlin Stories that feel pulled from the group chat: a perfectly nostalgic 2012 county fair date that ends in a vomit, a dating app salsa club meetup that turns into a drug-fueled jealousy spiral, and the now-infamous “mommy” phone call that earns a permanent spot on the ick list. We close with Gremlin Guidance on a friend-group dilemma where a husband lies to his wife about a “guys only” trip. We talk social etiquette, relationship red flags, and how to set boundaries when someone else’s lie tries to make you complicit.

If you want a male perspective on your Gremlin Guidance, send your questions for next week to EMILYTOGREMILYPOD@GMAIL.COM because Robert’s coming on! Subscribe, share this with a friend who loves messy dating stories, and leave a five-star review so more gremlins can find us!

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:12

Okay,

Mango Margarita And Quick Catch-Up

SPEAKER_01 0:13

cheers guys. Oh my goodness. Okay, I want to welcome all that kind of that was a good sip. I want to welcome any new listeners and welcome back, all returning listeners. Thank you for tuning in. The episode Drink of the Week. It's been a moment since I've like made like a true cocktail. Like I've just been kind of, you know, I did my mocktail series for so long, and before that, I feel like I was kind of getting lazy. Like I was just mixing like Celsius or Lani with vodka. This week we have a legit actual cocktail. I it was born out of laziness. I I'm not gonna lie. But I was looking in my fridge and in my bar area, and I was like, okay, what do I have? I didn't feel like going to the store and getting like brand new ingredients. Like it just, I don't know. It felt like a lot of work to me. And yes, I know that sounds super lazy, but it just felt like a lot of work at the moment. So I was like, okay, what do I have? I have a big ass bottle of tequila, which I've had for a long time because tequila and I usually are not, you know, BFFs. And I had frozen mango for like my smoothies, and then I had like all the accoutrements, like lime juice and simple syrup and triple sex. So I was like, okay, mango margarita. So we made a mango margarita. It's strong. I followed the recipe to a tea. I Googled it just because I wanted it to, you know, be exact and be proper. It's, I don't know, maybe it's just because it's tequila. If it was vodka, I'd probably be chugging it. But it's tequila. And that first sip, like, ooh, I didn't try it before I started this, which maybe I should if it's a drink I've never had or I've never made before, just because yikes. Okay. So yeah, episode drink of the week, mango margarita. And I was going to film myself making it as like part of like my content series for social media, but I had to blend the frozen mango. So it like I couldn't really talk in the video. It was just gonna be like me blending and then I don't know. It just it felt awkward. So I will start filming myself making the cocktails, just not today. I don't know. It just it's it seemed weird to have to like blop my story and then blend and then restart it. I don't know. Maybe I was just feeling lazy today, which is also completely possible. What can

Movie Name Reveal And Rant

SPEAKER_01 2:45

we say? Okay, real quick before we get into the episode, I received a message from Kathy. And last week I was talking about a movie that I had seen with Kate Hudson and Jennifer Goodwin that I did not like because it had to do with Jennifer Goodwin sleeping with her best friend Kate Hudson's fiance, like right before they were gonna get married or something like that. I couldn't remember the name of the movie, and I almost did stop my recording to Google it, but I was just kind of in a flow, so I never did. Anyway, I was checking my messages actually this morning, and Kathy messaged me and said the name of the movie you were talking about is Something Borrowed. So that is the name of the movie, in case anyone was interested. If you want to go watch it, you know, viewer discretion advised, it pissed me off the whole thing. So that was my circle back, is somewhat of a recommendation of this movie. I I don't know. It made me mad. It was one of the movies I watched where I'm just like, I just don't agree with the plot line. So I just it pissed me off. I don't know. Whatever. All right, so for this episode, we got some Gremlin stories and we have some Gremlin guidance. So let's get into

Hungover Ferris Wheel Date Disaster

SPEAKER_01 4:06

it. The first Gremlin story was sent to us by Eva or Eva, not sure how to pronounce it, but Eva or Eva. And she says, let me set the scene for you. It's summer 2012. Carly Ray Jepsen's Call Me Maybe is blasting on the radio. I had just gotten my first fake ID at the age of 19, and I was ready to rage. I went out with several friends the night before, and I'm happy to report the IDs worked perfectly. But when I woke up, I didn't feel all too well. Headache, dizziness, nausea, the usual suspects. But I was 19 and nothing could stop me. I had made plans to go out with the hottest, and mind you, she put hottest in all capital letters, the hottest guy to the county fair, and there was no way I was canceling that date. So I gathered all my strength, put on my bright purple booty shorts, threw on my best opaque tank with an owl graphic, and pinned a feather in my hair. My date picks me up and we make it to the fair without incident. My problem starts when we decided to go on a ride. I opted for the Ferris wheel because I thought the fresh air would feel good and it doesn't go fast. Well, right when we get to the top, I start feeling iffy. I'm trying to focus my eyesight, and right when I think I'm settled, the ride restarts and starts descending. And I couldn't hold it in any longer. I projectile vomit everywhere. The only upside was the seats were designed as pods and not feet hanging. So everything landed in our booth and not on the people below us. It ruined my converse though. My date signed to the attendant that we needed to get off and pointed out the problem. So I had to do the walk of shame off the ride while the entire line groaned and looked at me in disgust. I explained to my date that I had gone out the night before and I was hungover, but that didn't really make the situation better. He politely took me home to recover, but I never heard from him again. I wonder what he's up to now and if he's still the hottest man to have ever walked the planet. Eva. I um okay. I understand what you mean by the booths are pods. Like it's like a circle almost, and you can fit like, you know, a group in there as opposed to just like two people where you're like your feet are dangling. So I understand what you're talking about. And the way you described summer of 2012, it is so quintessential. As soon as you start talking about, I felt like I was transported right back. I can picture myself in little itty bitty shorts and like these this flowy tank top. And I think my tank top had um an elephant on it. But yeah, I had at that point in time, I had red hair. I miss my red hair, and I had a feather in my hair and a little feather headband. And life was just so much simpler, and those were good times. It was like a really hot summer, too, here in Los Angeles, and I remember just like running around because I finally had freedom. I had graduated high school the year before, and it was just like running around the city, and oh, that was such a good time. And Carly Ray Jepson's Call Me Maybe. I might make that the song of the episode, by the way. But yeah, I love the nostalgia of the story. Sorry it ended poorly. And the hottest man to have ever walked the planet. He probably looked like an Abercrombie and Fitch model. That was like the look back then, too. Okay, let's move on to the next story.

Salsa Club Gremlin Tries To Fight

SPEAKER_01 7:48

All right, the next story is from Kelly. And Kelly says, I went on a date with a true weirdo, and I think he was definitely having a gremlin moment. I met him on the apps, and we decided to go to the salsa club for our first date. We met there and had a couple of drinks and were dancing, but I noticed he kept excusing himself to go to the bathroom. It took me a minute to realize what he was probably doing in there. He kept coming back to our table a little too hyper. Yeah, I think we know what he's doing. So one of the times he goes to the bathroom, I decide to head to the bar to get myself another drink. A man approaches me and strikes up a conversation. He's clearly hitting on me, and right when I go to tell him that I'm there with someone, my date comes storming up, yelling at this guy to get away from his girl and acting super crazy. This guy is trying to apologize and get away, and my date just keeps going at him, telling him to quote, meet him outside. This guy finally had enough and they made their way outside with me following, trying to defuse the argument. I kept telling my date to calm down, and he just kept saying, I'm defending your honor. And then he starts jumping around like a bunny, just hopping back and forth from one foot to another. The guy just stared at him, completely thrown off. Then this lunatic tries to do a karate move and jump up in the air to roundhouse kick this guy, and instead falls flat on his face. Everyone watching just said, ooh, as his nose connected with the concrete, and then they walked away. I walked over to him and he's gushing blood. I don't know if it came from his nose or his mouth or both, but it was disgusting. I tell him he needs to go to the hospital, but he keeps saying, I can't go, and don't call the police. I'm assuming it's because he has something in his pocket he's not supposed to. So after making sure he was stable, I tell the bouncer, I just met him that night and he's not my problem. So I left. Not sure if the club called the ambulance or he ended up going to the hospital himself, but I wasn't about to get caught up in something because of his drug-fueled ego. Kelly. Jesus.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

I'm defending your honor. It's like he thinks he's like in an 80s movie and he's like the hero. Like, what is he, fucking karate kid? Good god. It's like a cheesy ass 80s karate movie.

SPEAKER_01 10:20

I can picture that roundhouse kick too, where he thought he was gonna be cool and he was gonna jump up and just like get the guy. He was probably even like nowhere near him either. Oi, poor guy. Well, he's not gonna be able to do any cocaine anytime soon with his busted ass nose. That's the thing about drugs too, like, especially Coke. It makes you think that you were just like invincible and cool and like just like like you're on top of the world. And in reality, everyone's just looking at you like you're a dodo bird. Ay, well, I wonder what happened to him. I mean, he obviously busted his nose. If he didn't bust his nose, he has a nose of steel, and it just was bleeding a lot. But like, if you fall directly on your nose, I gotta assume you broke it. I feel like this is like the second time we've talked about a broken nose, and every single time it like it makes me nervous. Like, my nose is so delicate and precious. I'm worried that like, what if I trip and fall? And then I'm gonna have to come on this podcast and be like, sorry, I was laughing at that guy who broke his nose. I broke my nose now, too.

Hi Mommy Shock

SPEAKER_01 11:26

Okay. Um, the next story is from Anonymous, and this one is um, I don't know the right word for it. It's disturbing. When I read it, I like had to like sit with myself for a moment because I was like, like, no, no fucking way. Are you kidding me? All right, let's read it and then let's discuss it. Okay, actually, and I'm gonna have a drink of my drink first before we keep going. Okay. Anonymous says, This isn't technically a gremlin story, but I do think it's worth sharing since gremlins love the cringe-worthy moments in life. I had been dating this guy for around a month or so. We met on the apps. Everyone says they meet on the apps. I swear, like I'm never gonna get a sponsorship from Tinder or Hinge or Bumble because these are all horror stories. Okay. We met on the apps and it seemed like a good match. We were both career focused, and it was nice to connect with someone who understood the importance of work. Due to our busy schedules, our dates together had to be planned out carefully and line up perfectly. On one such night, we had the entire night free, so we went out to dinner and then back to his place. After a glass or two of wine, we make our way to the bedroom and start doing the do. Okay, I know what's gonna happen, and I'm like, I'm like nervous to say it. I okay. I'm like, I feel like I'm building it up too much. Okay. In the middle of everything, I'm I can't. In the middle of everything, I'm on top of him and his phone starts ringing and vibrating next to his head. He peeks at it and says, keep going to me while he goes to answer the call. I'm assuming it's his work calling him. Then he answers the phone. Hi mommy. I stopped cold in my tracks. I literally felt the blood drain out of my face. I didn't I didn't know I had the ability to move so fast. I practically levitated off of him and jumped to the other side of the bed. He gives me a puzzled look while he talks to his mother and is answering her questions. After about five minutes, he hangs up and curls up next to me and says, Quote, where were we? I had stayed frozen in place. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak. Finally, I ask, Did you just answer your mom's call in the middle of sex? He truly couldn't understand why I was freaked out by not only the fact he had answered, but told me to keep going. And not to mention he stayed hard during the duration of the call. Once I was once I was able to regain my composure, I left. I never spoke to him again, and reliving it right now is sending a chill down my spine. Anonymous. I mean, I I don't even know. I have I I literally have nothing for this story other than my deepest sympathies. Like I I again can't speak. I just I couldn't I can't imagine I am lost for words. I can't imagine being in this situation. It if if a grown man calls his mother mommy, that's it. We're done. I like I I can't deal with the mommy issues. I can't what like why? Why why are you calling her mommy? I just like mommy is just so it like infantile. Is that the right word? I don't even know. It just it gives me the ick, the heebie jeebies. I didn't think this needed to be added to an ick list. Apparently it does. So we're adding men calling their mother mommy to the ick list. And then okay, and then we're gonna forget him just calling her mommy. He answers her call in the middle of sex, talks to her for five minutes, and stays hard during the duration of the call and then wants to keep going? Well, like, what's the psychology behind that? That's not psychology I want to delve into. Maybe if I was a trained professional and I was getting paid the big bucks, that is there's something going on there. I like I I like I wonder, like, did he take it? Doesn't seem like he did. I feel like you would have said that. I was gonna say, did he take like a Viagra or something to where he like they stay hard? I can't talk. I'm acting so nervous about talking about sex, which I talk about on the daily, and right now, because of it's this particular situation, I'm stuttering. Like I don't obviously if you he took a pill, I feel like you would have mentioned that because that is important to the story. So I'm gonna assume he didn't, and and he was just able to keep it. I don't even know what the right word is. I was gonna say erect, but that gave me the heebie jeebies. I grossed myself out. Um see, this is why I would really love to have a psychologist on because I would love to like pull stories from past episodes, this one included, and read them back to said psychologist and be like, I know, like I know you can't give a diagnosis because you don't know the person. Obviously, you need like a background, like background information and this and that, but I would just love to know like just the off-the-jump thoughts that a s a therapist or a psychologist would have on a matter like this, because all I can say is ew. And I can't imagine if it happened to me, like what I would do. I think I would be like scarred for life. I feel like I'm scarred right now, and it did not happen to me. I just read about it in an email. So, anonymous, you're like one of our strongest soldiers, and if I could give you a hug, I would. I think that's all I have to say about this one. It um it's another stunner. All right, let's have another drink of our drink. That one went down way easier. Am I getting used to the tequila?

SPEAKER_00 17:56

That's not

Friend Group Lie And Party Dilemma

SPEAKER_00 17:57

good.

SPEAKER_01 17:57

All right, and now we are gonna go on to Gremlin guidance. And I admittedly had some help with this guidance because I read it, I had my initial thoughts on it, but I felt like I needed another perspective. So I consulted my boyfriend, and I never tell him what the episodes are gonna entail beforehand. He listens with the rest of the audience and he's going into it blind, with the exception of like if it's a themed episode, like he knew when I was doing the true crime episode, but so did you guys. That way you guys could send in your stories. But I never tell him beforehand what I'm gonna be talking about. He just listens to it, and then after he listens to it, like on his way to work, when he gets home, we'll talk about it. So when I told him I wanted to discuss this with him, he was intrigued. He was like, oh. And it's just because I felt like I needed another perspective. I had my off the bat reaction to it, but I wanted a man's perspective. So let me read this to you, and I'll let you know what I think, and then I'll let you know what he thinks. Spoiler alert, we had the same thought. Okay. So Anonymous says. So naturally, all the wives have become friends. One of his friends, let's name him John, has recently moved back to town after living in a different country with his wife, let's name her Jane. I have met her a couple of times and she's very nice, but due to the distance, we have never become close. So every June, everyone gets together and we rent a lakeside cabin kind of to kick off the summer. John and Jane have never attended since they lived overseas. While we have been planning this year's trip and getting a final headcount, John told us to put him down for one person because Jane wouldn't be going. I assumed she had to work. Then I find out that John told Jane it's a husband's only trip and the wives never attend, which is the furthest thing from the truth. When my husband asked John why he lied, he said he didn't want Jane going because he needs time away from her and with his friends. Yesterday I received a text in a group chat from Jane inviting all the girls over to her house for a paint and sip night. I know she's trying to integrate herself in the group, but I feel extremely awkward going knowing that her husband is lying to her. I feel confident that the trip will be brought up somehow, and I don't want to lie to her face. But I also don't want to involve myself in her marriage and let her know her husband is lying to her. I also don't want to flake on the party and have her feel unwelcomed by me. What advice can you give me on how to work around this awkward situation? Anonymous. I just I felt like I just needed to run it by someone. And also him and I ended up having like a good 30-minute conversation about this, and he realized one of the plights of the Gremlin guidance is there's always follow-up questions. And I can't ask the follow-up questions because he was like, Well, what about what if this? What if that? And I was like, We don't know. This is the information that I'm given, and this is how we have to answer the question. There is no follow up questions, there is no phone calls, there's no nothing. We just have to work with what we're what we're given, which is frustrating because you know me, I'm nosy. I want to know the whole story. So there was a lot going into this. What my initial thought was. Was for this, was you can't go to this party. And I was gonna say that I think you need to make up an excuse and not flake on her, but just have it be a good enough excuse to where it doesn't seem like you're ditching her or like being rude and like not wanting to attend her party. Because like, look, she's obviously going through great lengths to try to make friends, and that's hard to do, especially as an adult, is to try to make new friends when you're an adult and there's already a core group of people already settled and you're kind of like the newcomer in. So I like I feel for Jane on this. Like I that that's a hard situation to be in, but I think if you attend the party, the trip is gonna be brought up because I don't know how many people that are going on the trip know that John is excluding Jane and is lying to her, saying it's a husband's only trip. If you're the only one who knows, you like you would have to tell everyone, and then it would have to be a group effort to lie to this poor woman. But then, so if you lie to her face and then she finds out, she's always gonna look at you sideways and be like, wow, like she lied to me. She's not a good friend, or this, you know, she you're all you're gonna be the bad guy in her mind. But if you tell her, then you're the bad guy in John's mind, the husband's mind, because you're he's probably gonna be defiant and like, why are you interfering in my marriage? So I think, and my boyfriend did agree with me, that you cannot go to this party. If you have kids, say, like the kid randomly got sick, I don't know, has pink eye, has I just a something. If you don't have kids, then maybe say that you have this very random work event that all of a sudden came up and it's mandatory and you have to go. If you maybe you don't work, just come like maybe a family event. I don't know. You need to put your thinking cap on and come up with a very believable excuse on why you can't go to this party because no matter what, you will be the bad guy in that story by either not telling her or by telling her. And while you're not at that party, I'm sure I'm I can guarantee, I feel it in my bones. This is gonna, this trip is gonna get brought up somehow. It's a paint and sip, which means they're all gonna be sipping on some wine or whatever you guys like to drink, and someone's gonna bring it up and be like, oh my god, he's so excited for the summer trip, and she's gonna she's gonna clock it, and she's gonna be like, I thought it was husbands only. Let it be someone else's burden to bear that they tell her, and they don't exactly know the situation. John knows that you know the situation, so let it be somebody who is unaware of the circumstances, tell her because then it's not on that person. John can't be mad at random wife for spilling the beans, but he can be mad at you because he'll think that you did it intentionally. Also, John, kind of a piece of shit because, like, what a dick. And Robert even said this to me. He was like, I guarantee you, John did not bank on the fact that his wife was going to try to become friends with this group of girls, have all their phone numbers, and host an event at their house. I wonder what's gonna happen when she tells her husband, like, oh yeah, I'm having the girls over for a paint and sip night. He's probably gonna shit his pants. He's gonna be like, ah, crap. Which means he's either gonna have to tell her at the last minute, like, oh yeah, we decided like it's gonna be a group trip. The wives are gonna go, so yay, you can go now. Or he's gonna try to like cancel the party so that she can't host it. Something is gonna go down. I would love to be a fly on the wall of that household to see how he's gonna handle this, but I truly believe that you need to remove yourself from the situation and just let it play out how it's gonna play out, but not have you have a hand in the results because this is messy. And I'm sure you and your husband don't need the drama. And I don't know, if I were you, I would be telling your husband, hey, by the way, John sucks butt and what a piece of shit. He's excluding his wife. Like, why is he excluding her? Like, you want time away and like with your friends, but this is like a group thing. Like, have time away with your friends on a different day, like doing something else. Like, why are you like, why are you using this as a way to get away from your wife? Like, don't make your marriage problems all of our problems because this is just like messy. And none of these problems started until he moved back into town. So, John, I think you need to reevaluate yourself and your marriage and your priorities because he's ruining the summer trip.

Next Week Preview And Submissions

SPEAKER_01 27:12

I'm acting like I'm going. Alright, guys, so that is our episode. I didn't drink my entire drink, but let's have another drink just because I feel stressed. That was stressful. The last two submissions were stressful for me. Okay, if you would like to follow myself and the podcast on social media, you may do so at Emily to Gremly Pod on Instagram and TikTok. They're both fully updated. I'm very proud of myself. It's only been a week, so I don't know why I'm like patting myself on the back. But they're still up to date, so kudos to me for keeping it together for one week. Let's see if I can maintain it. If you would like to watch this episode and almost all the past episodes, you may do so on YouTube at EmilyTegremlypod on YouTube. If you have your own Gremlin story, you need Gremlin guidance, or you have a juicy piece of Gremlin gossip, you may email that in. You can submit it by sending it to EmilyTegremlypod at gmail.com, or you can message me on Instagram or TikTok, whichever you prefer. And make sure to write down if you want to remain anonymous or not. That is very important. A call to action that I'm sending out at the end of each episode. If you have any episode themes or topics that you want discussed and covered, send those in, as well as if you have any guest suggestions, whether it be a specific person, a specific profession, or hobby, whatever, you can send in those suggestions to EmilyTremleypod at gmail.com or DM me on social media again, whichever you prefer. Next week, I have a very exciting development to share with you. So because I needed help with the guidance this week and I had spoken with my boyfriend about it, I had asked him if he would be willing to do another episode with me. Now, the first episode we did together went off the rails because it was my birthday and I had been drinking all day. Technically, that's not my fault. That is my birthday's fault. Not my fault. The second episode we planned to do ended up having to get canceled. So this would be his second episode, and he did agree to do it. It didn't take too much probing, actually. I thought it was gonna be a little harder to get him to say yes, but he was actually weirdly agreeable. I wonder why. But he did say yes. So next week, my boyfriend Robert will be on. So I want you guys to send in your Gremlin guidance questions that maybe you want a male perspective on, that maybe you want us to discuss as a couple or just man versus woman. We'll each probably have our own different perspective, even though for this past Gremlin Guidance, we kind of came to the same conclusion. But just send in those questions at emlategremlinpod at gmail.com or message or DM me on social media, and that will be next week's episode. So make sure to send all of those questions in before Saturday, I believe May 2nd. I'm almost positive it's Saturday, May 2nd, because we will be filming on Saturday. So make sure to send in all of those questions that you want us to discuss. You want the male perspective, you want the couple perspective, send those in emily to grammarlypod at gmail.com. And make sure to like, follow, share, subscribe, rate five stars, do all the things. We are going to cheers out with our Mingo Margarita. So cheers to you, cheers to me, and cheers to Anonymous having to deal with the mommy issues, guy. I'm gonna chug this drink just thinking about it. Okay, cheersies. Bye.