Sometimes The Best Advice Is Two Options

A strawberry margarita that’s a little too strong sets the tone, and then we get right into the kind of listener-submitted chaos that makes this show addictive: the funny stuff, the mortifying stuff, and the surprisingly tender stuff you only tell when you trust the room. We read a story about a visiting mom who accidentally eats weed gummies instead of melatonin and spends the night convinced the bed is floating.

From there, things get painfully human with our first poop-themed submission: a genuinely great date that ends in a gas station parking lot when someone doesn’t make it out of the car in time. We talk about embarrassment, dating etiquette, and what kindness looks like when a moment is too awkward to recover from. (Also, yes, we try very hard not to laugh.)

Gremlin Guidance brings the serious questions. We respond to an anonymous listener who’s 28 and still a virgin and feels stuck between waiting for something meaningful and ripping off the band-aid. Then we tackle the hardest one: can you forgive cheating after a five-year relationship that felt perfect? We dig into trust, paranoia, boundaries, and why couples counseling might help you find the real “why.”

Gremlin Gossip closes it out with a dating twist where two guys turn out to be brothers and a secret-profession reveal from an anonymous dominatrix that we desperately want to unpack in a future interview.

Have your own Gremlin Story? Need Gremlin Guidance? Have a juicy piece of Gremlin Gossip? Email the podcast and it will be featured on a a future episode! And submit your worst break up story for our themed episode airing in a few weeks! EMILYTOGREMILYPOD@GMAIL.COM

Transcript

Welcome And Drink Of The Week

Speaker 0:13

Okay, cheers guys. Oh my goodness. Okay. I made myself a strong drink. I would like to welcome any new listeners we have and welcome back any returning listeners. Thank you for tuning in. The episode drink of the week is a strawberry margarita. And I went heavy on the tequila. Yikes. Okay. Well, you know what? Let's have another sip. I always do this. I always say I should test my drinks before I have my first sip like on the podcast, like on air. And I never do. And then I'm like blown away by the concentration of alcohol. Okay. That one's less shocking. I'll get used to it. Don't worry about it. Okay. I want to welcome I already did that. I want to welcome everyone who is listening. Um, yeah, episode drink of the week, strawberry margarita. I felt like it was like a summery kind of a drink, right? Yeah, that's a summery drink. I don't know. It's been super hot all week, despite the fact I'm wearing a sweater. I'm cold inside here because the AC was kicked on like super high. But I wanted a summery springtime vibe, kind of a drink, because after I'm done filming this, I am running my butt outside and enjoying the sun and the heat and trying to maintain a tan somewhat, at least a little bit. Okay, so we do have a full episode today filled with Gremlin stories, gremlin guidance, and gremlin gossip. A reminder: if you want to submit your own Gremlin story, you need Gremlin guidance, or you have a juicy piece of Gremlin gossip, you can email that into the podcast at emilytogremilypod@gmail.com or message or DM me on social media, on Instagram and TikTok @emilytogremilypod, and let me know if you want to remain anonymous or you can sign your name. So let's get started with these submissions.

Mom Accidentally Eats Weed Gummies

Speaker 2:08

Let's see, the first one is from Jacqueline. And Jacqueline says, I accidentally got my mom high. I asked her if I could tell this story, and she said it was fine because we can look back on it and laugh now. My mom was in town visiting. I live in Los Angeles and she lives in Ottawa, Canada, and she usually stays with me for about a week so we can make the most out of her trip. The first night she arrived, I unfortunately had to work, so she Ubered from the airport and my neighbor let her into my apartment. She texted me to let me know she was inside and told me she was excited to shower and go to bed after a long travel day. I know she has trouble sleeping sometimes, something I inherited from her, so I let her know I had melatonin gummies in my nightstand if she needed them. I didn't hear from her for the rest of my shift, so I assumed she went to sleep. When I got home around midnight, I walk into my bedroom and see my mom laying as stiff as a board and staring at the ceiling. It scared me to death until she spoke and said, There's something wrong with your bed. I ran over to figure out if she was having a medical emergency when I saw the gummy pack on the nightstand. She hadn't pulled out the melatonin gummies. My poor innocent mom, who has never done a drug in her life, accidentally got into my weed gummies and was high as a kite. I explained to her what happened and she asked if that's why she felt like the bed was floating. It took her almost two days to go back to normal. My poor mother signed Jacqueline. That's terrible. Your poor mom. Oh gosh. You know, that's the thing. Like, I don't like edibles. And I feel like I'm in like the minority here of people who don't like edibles. Weed isn't really like my thing to begin with. But edibles, man, like they can knock you on your ass so quickly. I remember maybe one of the last times. I think I've had like edibles here and there, like, but just like in very, very tiny doses, like just enough to feel like a little like goofy. But I this was years ago, years ago. And I decided to have an edible with the person I was with at the time. Ugh. But anyway, um, he was more of an aficionado with that kind of stuff, and I was totally green, and he didn't give me a lot, like it was a proper dose for like someone like myself who hadn't like been used to them. And so I just had a little bit, and it it was like really bad. I remember I was in bed crying because I didn't want to be high anymore. And I said that I was like, I don't want to be high anymore. Like I couldn't take a nap to like try to sleep it off because every time I closed my eyes, I felt like I was on a magic carpet and I was like getting like motion sickness almost, which I don't get motion sickness like when I'm sober and just like on a in a car on a boat or anything like that. So I was just like so out of my element, and it took me like oh yeah, almost two days to go back to like feeling like a normal person. I remember I had that night, that day and that night off, but I had work scheduled for the next night. It was back when I was waitressing. And thank God I went into my shift and I still felt off and weird. And luckily it wasn't a busy night, and I was working with a girl who was like super cool. And I was like, hey, I told explain to her what happened, and then she laughed at me. And I was like, I'm kind of gonna be useless. Like, are you cool to like kind of like cover for me if I can't like get my bearings? And she was laughing and she was like, Yeah, of course, no problem. And then she told me a story where she was like walking down Venice Beach one time and she had an edible and then she got stuck on a bench, and it's just like it's sometimes they hit you really weird. So I feel like a lot of people have stories like that. If you have a story like that, make sure to email those in at emlithagrammlypod at gmail.com and we can read them on the podcast because yeah, sometimes they sneak up on you, it's not fun. Yeah, I don't I don't do edibles for that reason. Actually, the last time I had an edible, it was like a mushroom chocolate. That didn't end well either, so be careful with the edibles.

The Date That Ends At A Gas Station

Speaker 6:39

Okay, the next story is from Carolina, and okay, I remember this one. I I would like to thank my boyfriend Robert for introducing poop to this podcast. Thank you for that. And we now have our very first poop submission. So, Carolina, here we go. I'm trying, I tried to mentally prepare myself for this story because I don't want to laugh at it. It's just let me read it and you'll understand. Okay. I don't really have a Gremlin story, but when your boyfriend said maybe the guy who left the girl at the restaurant pooped himself, it made me want to write in I went on a date with this really amazing guy a few years ago who planned a great date at a romantic restaurant. We were having great conversation and a fantastic meal, and then towards the end of the date, he excused himself to go to the bathroom. He was gone for quite a moment, but he did come back, quickly paid the check, and asked if I was ready to go. I had a feeling he was sick, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to embarrass him. So we're like halfway back to my house and he starts speeding. We are stopped at a red light and I ask if everything is okay, and he just says he's going to pull over at the gas station across the street. The light turns green and he floors it and practically skids into the gas station lot. Oh gosh. But right as he goes to turn the car off, I hear it. He never made it out of the car. I gasped out of pure shock and he just stays frozen. I try to compose myself because I didn't want to make the situation worse. And I tell him I can go get him the bathroom key. He just says no thank you and asks if I can Uber home. I say no worries and that I hope he feels better. He drives off and I'm just standing at the gas station trying to process what just happened. The next day I decide to text him to say I had a nice time at the restaurant and I hope he feels better, and I'd love to go out with him again. I never got a response back. So a couple days after that, I text him again just to confront it head on and say, I know he must be embarrassed, but I really don't care. And I thought he was a great guy, and I was hoping we could get past this and go on another date. Still no response. I decided to just cut my losses. I didn't want to beg for a date or prolong the embarrassment of this poor guy, but I still think about him and I hope he's well. Carolina. Like, oh gosh. I you you handled okay. I don't want to look, I'm trying really hard. I don't want to laugh at him. Like, I'm with Carolina. Like, I wouldn't want to make the situation worse. I would try to compose myself as I am right now to not make him feel worse. That being said, like, I I don't know what I would do. I think you you handled it the best way you possibly could. You tried to make him feel better, you didn't laugh in his face, you tried to comfort him after the fact. He obviously just was so embarrassed he couldn't text you back, which is kind of a bummer because you said he was a great guy and he like planned a great date. Like you could have been his person. I mean, look, he did the most embarrassing thing anyone could possibly ever do, and you still wanted to go out with him, and you were so nice about it. So I think that was his loss. I think he should have sucked it up and just been like, but at the same time, I get I get it. Like, how do you come back from that? I don't know. I don't have a story for this either. I just I felt like it was worth sharing. Also, Robert, thank you for talking about poop on your episode, and now the listeners feel comfortable sharing their poop stories. So I guess let's just continue with this and embrace it. Like, I mean, we do talk about vomit on this podcast. I suppose we can talk about the the other end as well. Um, and we did have a peace story in the last episode. So, sure, if you guys have poop stories, whether they be your own or someone else's, as Carolina did today, um, you can email those in. Just, you know, obviously don't write in something mean unless it's funny. I don't know. I like this. I it's funny because I wasn't in the situation, but I'm trying to be respectful and nice because God forbid this guy is listening. Is that a possibility? I don't know. Guy out there, if this was you and you went out with a girl named Carolina and this happened to you, just know that she still thinks about you. And I don't know, like, look how nice she was. And she didn't write your name in the email. Other people have written the other person's name in the email, and I've kind of put that on blast. So yeah, um, I'm Carolina, you're a very nice and sweet person. And guy on the date who had a oopsie, you should reach out to her and um yeah, like look how nice she is. I don't even know. I'm gonna have some more margarita because good lord. Okay, well, there we go. We're gonna end Gremlin's stories with poopies. That poor guy. I I don't even know. Yeah, I mean, I yeah, if you have some more some more stories like this, please send those in. Emilytogremilypod@ gmail.com. We're gonna move on to guidance now.

Gremlin Guidance On Virginity At 28

Speaker 12:36

And Robert, thank you for doing that. You're the best. Okay. Gremlin guidance. The first submission we have is from Anonymous. And Anonymous asks, I'd love to know what you think I should do in my situation. Please keep me anonymous, but I'm in desperate need of advice. Done. I'm 28 years old and still a virgin. It's not for religious reasons and I'm not saving myself for marriage. It just never happened for me. I've always been shy and kind of stayed away from relationships to focus on school and then work, but now I'm 28 and have no life experience. Do you think I should continue to wait or just finally rip off the band-aid? Anonymous. Okay. I feel like I'm not well equipped to give you advice on this just because like I can I can play both sides of the coin, I guess. For one side, you could just be like, all right, well, like if you want to rip off the band-aid and you just want to get it over with, like, I can see that side of it. But at the same time, it's like, all right, well, you've waited this long, you might as well wait a little longer to just like have it be like meaningful and special, you know, or I don't know, maybe special is the a weird word, just like a little more meaningful. Maybe like I think maybe you should just try to find a relationship with someone who you like and are comfortable with and have it be like a natural thing as opposed to having it just be like you go to a bar and it's a one-night stand kind of thing. But I don't know what your preference is, I don't know what your lifestyle is like. So I think this is kind of a like a personal choice on your part. If you really just want to get it over with and you're just like tired of like the quote unquote stigma of being a virgin, then I I guess just get it over with. But I feel like, you know, a lot of people are kind of like bummed that like their first time happened the way it happened. I mean, come on, like Jay and I told our stories. Mine was embarrassing as hell, but it was with somebody who I knew and was comfortable with. It wasn't a random guy. It was still really embarrassing. I don't want to talk about it. But, you know, I just feel like maybe you should like try to find someone who you connect with as opposed to it being random. But if you just want it to be random and you just want to get it over with and you don't want the strings attached, then go for that. I mean, I there's no stigma against staying a virgin, and there's no stigma against having a one-night stand. They're they're both decent options depending on what you prefer. So I I can't really give you guidance for this one. I can just tell you the two sides of it, and then I think this is just a personal preference kind of thing. Sorry about that. I when I chose it too, I was like, uh, like I can't give her an answer, but you know, when people write in, I want to respond to them. I just I don't want to like not respond just because I don't have like a clear-cut answer. So that's my explanation of my answer. And do with it what you will. You know, it's it's your total choice whether what you want to do, basically. I'm gonna have some more margarita because the next one too, I don't um feel like I'm gonna stumble through my answer.

Can A Relationship Survive Cheating

Speaker 15:48

And we're gonna move on to another anonymous. Anonymous asks, would you be able to forgive after cheating? I was with my boyfriend, now X, for five years. I always felt like we were a couple goals: minimal fighting, good communication, a healthy sex life, and just all around love for one another. That all came crashing down when he came home from a work trip and immediately admitted he cheated. There was no reason for it. We didn't have a fight before he left, it just happened. He said he had too many drinks at the bar and slept with a random woman he met. He profusely apologized, but I needed space, so he's been staying at his parents' house while I stay in our apartment trying to figure out what to do next. Normally I would never think of forgiving someone for this, but I'm thinking of all the good times we had and how our relationship was literally perfect right before this. I do think it was a one-time random moment of weakness, but I don't know. Do you think it's possible this was a fluke and he can be forgiven? Anonymous. Okay, this is another one where I can't give a yes or no answer or tell you what to do. I can only tell you what I would do personally in this situation. And like even if one of my friends came to me, I might be a little more passionate about saying, no, you should do this or that. But at the end of the day, everyone has their own choices in life and they're what they're able to forgive or unable to forgive. For me, this is unforgivable because it just breaks the trust. And I'm personally a person where trust is like the most important thing. And once I don't have that with you, and once I don't have that with you anymore, there's like no relationship to be saved, basically. Because if I were to forgive him for doing that, then every time he leaves the house, whether it be to go to work, go on a work trip, um, go out with his friends, do this, you know, anything that that would normally happen in a day-to-day life, I would be sitting there thinking, is he doing it again? And that's no way to live. You don't want to live with the what if, or is he doing this, or what's happening, or you know, like, or feeling like you always need to be around them to make sure they don't do it again, or having to check their phone. It's just you're living in a constant state of paranoia and it's so unhealthy and it's so like energy draining. It's just like in my head, it's not worth it. That's not to say that the relationship isn't worth it, or you can't remember the good times or mourn what was and what could have been. It's just like I this is gonna be a personal thing of it. Can you forgive, not forget, but can you forgive it and move past it? Like when he goes, it seems like work trips are a thing for him because when he came home from a work trip. So if the next time he goes on a work trip, are you going to be living in like a state of paranoia? And is your stomach gonna be a knots? And are you gonna be like texting him constantly? Are you gonna be able to go about your day and be a normal member of society knowing that he's on a work trip and he could possibly do it again? Also, the fact it happened for no reason, to me, that's weird. Like, I'm in my head, like when people people cheat because like there's problems in the relationship, you guys just got into a fight, or like you know, there's some kind of fracture there. But for you to say that there was no fracture, it was a healthy relationship that you're aware of. Let's see, you said minimal fighting, good communication, healthy sex life, all around love for one another. It's like then why did he do it? And do it just means it's possible, it's cap everyone's capable of cheating, everyone's capable of doing anything, honestly. It's just a matter of whether you do and you don't. And for it to be for no reason, it's just like the psychology behind it, like what then why did he do it, I guess? So again, I think this is another one where it's gotta be your own personal thought of what you are able to forgive, and can you rebuild the trust with him again? And maybe that's completely possible for you. I I'm not a very forgiving person, I'm very cut and dry, and I'll I can cut someone off at the drop of a hat. Other people aren't like that, and that's probably good for them. I'm not saying I'm living in a healthy state of mind over here. That's just I know myself and that's how I am. I'm very like, you're done. I'm done with you. Goodbye. But, you know, that's not everyone, and that's also, you know, not the best way to live either. So maybe what I would suggest for you guys is couples counseling to maybe see, like, you know, in your mind, you thought this was an extremely healthy relationship. Maybe he was feeling a different way, and maybe you guys can talk that out and find the reason he cheated and rebuild together and have trust again and move on from this. Or you could decide that it's unforgivable and you want to be done. But just because you're done with him doesn't mean you can't be upset for or you know, or look back on all the memories that you guys have together and be sad and you know, miss him and mourn it. You know, that's allowed, that's to be expected. So this I think is just whatever you're willing and able to forgive. And if you do want to try to move past it, I would suggest um talking to a couples counselor and seeing if you can delve into the why of it. Like why did he do it? You know, is there something going on in his head that he was unhappy with the relationship for some reason and you didn't know about it? Again, I didn't really give advice, I just gave a suggestion. Sorry. Both of the gremlin guidances today were not easy, you know, cookie cutter answers. Sorry about that. Let's have some more margarita and then we'll go into some gremlin gossip.

Playing The Field Meets Brother Drama

Speaker 21:53

Okay, let's see. The first gremlin gossip is from Anonymous and Anonymous says. So it turns out I have a type. After a string of crappy boyfriends, I decided to just play the field and not become attached and exclusive with the next guy I liked. Then I met this one guy. I'll call him Steve at the library of my community college. He was super cute and someone I would definitely want to immediately call my boyfriend. But I decided to stay aloof and play it cool, and we went on a few dates ending with only a kiss. About a week later, I met a different guy at a friend's birthday. I'll call him Tony. And he was hot, all capital letters. I ended up hooking up with him that night, even though that's not something I would normally do. But I was still texting with Steve every day, whereas Tony, I only heard from him once since that night we met. A couple weeks after that, Steve tells me it's his birthday, and he invites me to a bar he's having a small get-together at. I'm excited to celebrate him and meet his friends, but when I get there, my worlds collide. Steve is introducing me to everyone and then points out his brother, Tony. Tony starts ragging on Steve, saying, quote, This is the girl you were talking about? Dude, this is that girl I hooked up with at that party. Steve was confused and I was humiliated and I took off. I texted Steve a couple days later to apologize, but he never responded. So safe to say that's ruined. And this is why I don't play the field. Stay safe out there, kids. Anonymous. Alright, well, first of all, playing the field is not that bad. And you weren't exclusive with Steve, so I I understand maybe he has some feelings about it because you only gave him a kiss and you slept with his brother, and it was his brother. So I understand the the animosity that he's having and why he's feeling jaded, or not jaded, slighted, I guess is the correct word. But you technically you didn't do anything wrong. It's not like you knew they were brothers and you have like a brother fetish. It wasn't on purpose. So anonymous, I don't think you did anything wrong. You weren't exclusive with Steve. Tony was hot. You're single, you're young, you're hot, you're ready to mingle. So, but I do understand why Steve didn't text you back. But also, Tony kind of sucks. Like, this is girl I hooked up with at the party. You know, he was like totally like teasing him and being mean about it. Like, what a jerk. Good god. All right. Well, sorry, Anonymous. Um, but you still play the field, but maybe if they look extremely alike, um, I don't know, do some Instagram stalking just to see if they're related or at least friends. You never know. All right, and the last gremlin gossip is also anonymous, and it's a doozy.

Secret Life As A Dominatrix

Speaker 24:55

Anonymous says, I have a secret profession that literally no one knows about. Not my friends, family, no one. I was in need of money and found myself on a fetish site. Don't ask how I got there. Anyway, long story short, I now earn my living as a dominatrix. Men pay me to tell them what to do. My best and favorite client likes me to meet him at a nice hotel, whip him with his belt, crush his balls with the stiletto of my boot, and ball gag him. It pays amazing money. Anonymous. Okay, the one time someone says long story short, I'm looking for the long story here. So I am desperate to talk to you. I want to know all the information. I really want this interview. Anonymous, I emailed you back saying I know you want to stay anonymous, but if we could just do like an interview and I could read your answers on the podcast, I'm hoping you got my email and I'm hoping you respond back to me because the I didn't this wasn't on my list of people or professions to talk to, but um, now it is. I need to know everything about this lifestyle because I am completely fascinated by it. And yeah, check your email anonymous. I emailed you back hoping to interview you anonymously and talk about it on this podcast.

Submissions And Worst Breakups Callout

Speaker 26:24

And that's the end of this episode. If you would like to follow myself and the podcast on social media, you may do so @Emily to GremilyPod on Instagram and TikTok. You can also watch this episode and almost all the past episodes on YouTube at EmilyToGremilyPod on YouTube. If you have your own Gremlin story, you need Gremlin guidance, or you have a juicy, juicy piece of Gremlin gossip, you can email that into the podcast at Emilytogremilypod @gmail.com, or you can message or DM me on social media, whichever you prefer. And also remember to let me know if you'd like to remain anonymous, or you can sign your name and it will be read on the podcast. A call to action. I'm saying at the end of every episode, if you have any episode theme or topic suggestions, or you have a suggestion of who you want to see and hear on this podcast, whether it be a certain profession, hobbyist, person, like anonymous over here, you can email in your suggestions at emilytogremilypod @gmail.com or message or DM me on social media, whichever you prefer. We have a new call to action that I sent out on the last episode. We are going to be doing an entire episode on worst breakups. This came to us from Juni. Juni said, I thought it might be fun for all of us to commiserate over our worst breakups and make it an entire episode. I'm sure there are enough listeners who had horrible experiences either as the victim or the perpetrator. If we don't laugh, we'll cry, so we might as well make some entertainment. Juni. So thanks to Juni, we have a new episode theme that will be coming out in a few weeks. Worst breakups. I already received some submissions from you guys. I'm waiting to get some more in, and then we can make it an entire episode. So send in your worst breakups, and it can be a big episode where we can laugh and cry and commiserate over our sad love lives. And that is the end of our episode. Make sure to like, follow, share, subscribe, rate five stars, do all the things. Also, I don't know if you guys are gonna be able to hear this, but my cat is screaming in the background because he wants to be let into the studio. So if you guys have heard meowing throughout this entire podcast, I'm sorry, I have a Velcro kitty who normally would be sleeping right now, but for some reason he decided to be awake and noisy. So cheers to you, cheers to me, cheers to my cat being quiet next episode, and cheers to Anonymous, who is living her best life as a dominatrix. Check your email. I really want to talk to you. All right, cheers, you guys. Bye.