Emily to Gremily
A podcast about the stories that start out normal and spiral into something unforgettable. Hosted by Emily Hogan, Emily to Gremily blends humor, honesty, and a touch of chaos through solo episodes and guest features. Expect cocktails, unfiltered “gremlin" stories, pop culture hot takes, and internet obsessions.
Subscribe for new episodes every Tuesday, and follow along on Instagram and TikTok @EmilytoGremilyPod for episode updates, cocktail recipes, and behind-the-scenes extras.
Make sure to email us your insane gremlin stories to EMILYTOGREMILYPOD@GMAIL.COM and they will be featured on future episodes.
Emily to Gremily
Be Nice To Yourself
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A tequila espresso martini with a tequila twist sounds like a fun bit, but it turns into the kind of conversation that sneaks up on you: how to spot real green flags, how to build a life that fits your brain, and how to keep your boundaries when the world keeps testing them. Jackie is back after a long gap, and she brings updates that actually matter: she met her partner on Bumble, they’re still together, and one sentence on a first date told her everything she needed to know about toxic masculinity and emotional maturity.
From there we get into the work behind the scenes. Jackie shares what it’s like to stream on Twitch four to five days a week while managing ADHD, building a community, and creating content without pretending every day is easy. We also break down the trading card game world in a way that’s approachable even if you’ve never played: Magic the Gathering basics, drafting versus constructed play, why selling singles is such a big deal, and what card shows are really like. If you’re curious about TCG investing, deck building, or starting a small side business, you’ll leave with clearer language and fewer myths.
Then we switch gears into hospitality reality: best restaurants, worst shutdowns, tipping culture, and the kind of “horror stories” that explain why customer service work changes you. Listener submissions bring both rage and catharsis, and Gremlin Guidance closes it out with a wedding planning dilemma: how to tell a sister she isn’t maid of honor when politics and values have created distance. We talk timing, tone, and the simplest truth that protects your peace.
If you enjoyed this mix of funny stories, practical advice, and real mental health talk, subscribe, share the episode with a friend, and leave a five-star review so more gremlins can find us.
Okay,
Tequila Espresso Martini Opener
SPEAKER_03okay.
SPEAKER_04Welcome back to the podcast, Jackie. Thank you. Ooh, okay. If you guys are watching on YouTube, you will see why we are being a little squeamish at the moment. We have martinis in martini glasses, and they were filled to the brim, courtesy of me and my heavy pour. And I was afraid we were gonna spill our dark liquid on these pink chairs. Because guess who didn't think about the fact that, hey, you're a little klutzy. I might spill something on my nice pink chairs, but it's fine. We did well. And we didn't spill it walking into the studio.
SPEAKER_01Nope, not even not a drop.
SPEAKER_04Not a drop. I feel like I just jinxed us. That's why I sipped it instead. So I wouldn't spill it. I love myself. Welcome back to the podcast, Jackie. Thank you for having me. Of course. And she requested an espresso martini, but she had her own little twist on it. She did not want to do the safe vodka choice. She said, I want to do a tequila. Espresso martini. Aye, aye, ay, ay, tequila. And you know me and tequila. I get nervous. But and even when I was like preparing it, I went and got like the tequila. I went and got the Kahlua, which I don't have that in my normal bar setting because you know, me, I'm just like pounding the bottle of vodka. So I went and got everything. I'm like, is this gonna taste good? Like I'm kind of nervous about this. And I'm like, well, it's alcohol. Like, suck it up. You'll you'll be fine.
SPEAKER_01It's actually really good. Well, you forget is repo has a little bit of like a caramel undertone to it.
SPEAKER_04Because I almost I'm so glad I looked at the recipe before I like went and like got it off the shelf because I was just gonna get a like a silver tequila. And then I for some reason I was like, I need to go look at this recipe. Thank God I did, because it said you need a reposado because it has like it's aged in like oak barrels. It sounded so fancy.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Aged in oak barrels and it has a hint of like caramel and vanilla. And I was like, oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's what makes it like that gives it that extra little blend.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I think the silver tequila would have been like it would have worked, but it wouldn't have been the same. No. And I chilled the tequila. Look, I I got super fancy today. I chilled the tequila before she even got here. I put it like straight in the freezer. It's a good, it's a good drink. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Oh, it is.
SPEAKER_04Thank you for that. Thank you. You just added something new into my my uh recipe book, and that could be dangerous. I feel hot now, actually.
Dating App Win And Green Flags
SPEAKER_04All right. Well, this is your first episode back since episode three. And at the end of that episode, we had teased that you were gonna come back as if you were gonna come back like a month later. Yeah. And it's been like a year and two months, three months? Yeah. Yeah. Life happens. Life happens. I mean, we all got like busy or like into our own things for different reasons, but I'm glad you're back. I'm very excited. We've been talking about this episode for like a moment, and it's just like we finally were able to like make it happen. Yes. So you gotta tell everyone what you've been up to since then. Last time you were on, you were talking about how you just met this like amazing guy. We're still together. You're still together. Yeah. Unlike the last episode or the last guest I had on, she has had luck on dating uh apps.
SPEAKER_01She hasn't.
SPEAKER_04She she hasn't.
SPEAKER_01You have. I have. You have. She hasn't. I had the luck that made it so that I don't need the apps no more. Correct.
SPEAKER_04What app did you meet him on? Bumble. Okay, I'm gonna she's been on hinge. It was Jay. She was on Hinge and she had she was telling me that she or telling all of us that she had met this one guy and she thought he sounded cool and great. And she talked to him on the phone, and he I think was in the middle of a meth-induced episode and was talking about saving his tears in jars. And she was like, I can't, like, I can't do this. So she just deleted and blocked him. And that's the right choice. Well, I'm glad she made that choice. But yeah, she that's the caliber that she's finding. So she's like, like, what do I do? So I think you need to talk about your success story to give hope to others.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Because yeah, you're one of the lucky ones.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I found a good one. You did. I found a good one. And can I tell you what what it was that he said when we were on our first date that made me go, check. He said, I'm not into that toxic masculinity. I just don't. I don't care. I don't give a shit. And I'm like, there we go. Right. Because that's that's that now I'm not saying masculinity. Right. I'm saying that the toxic masculinity is a big thing that has um had a very, very negative impact on a lot of the men in a couple of our generations. Yes. So like finding one that that recognizes it and goes the other way, I think is is oh really big green flag. For sure.
SPEAKER_04For sure. So okay, so yeah, I'm trying to remember. I should have re-listened to that episode. I just hate listening to myself from the past. Um but yeah, you were saying you had just met him, or like not just met him, like you had met him, you guys have been dating for like a little bit. It was solidified by me. You were in like that in between stage where like maybe he was gonna move in, or like I feel like that's where you guys were at at that point. Were we? I don't know. Well, he moved in. Yeah. Well, I know it's been solidified. It's solidified. He ain't going nowhere. Like you guys were together, but then it was like Like we adopted a cat together. Right.
SPEAKER_00He ain't going nowhere.
SPEAKER_04Well, and if it does, guess who gets to keep the cat?
SPEAKER_00You because now she loves me more.
SPEAKER_01No. Um, so yeah, I I had a a lot of dates in a short period of time. And some of them were alright, and some of them were horrible. And then once I had this one, it just it made sense.
SPEAKER_04Right. Um When it clicks, it clicks. Yeah. When you know, you know.
SPEAKER_01And I think one thing that's kind of important, especially with the profiles, is what are they trying to show you? Right. Are they trying to give off that I'm this fucking minly men and I like is that what they're trying to give off? Because if that's what they're trying to give off.
SPEAKER_04Take it at face value. What they are, yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know, if you look at it and you realize, like, hey, this is this is a normal person. This is a chill person. Like, it's not a bunch of like shirtless fucking holding a fish pictures.
SPEAKER_04It's like, I don't know, maybe a goofy smile or a goofy face. Someone showing off their actual personality and not the stereo the I you hit it on the nail, like hit it on the head. The shirtless guy with the fish, it's like I I saw a Family Guy episode recently, and they literally made fun of that.
SPEAKER_01Like, it's just like show me who you are, not who you're trying to be.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, some like uniqueness, some individuality. Also, like uh that's really not gonna hook me either. No pun intended, because I don't like fishing. Right. So, other than your amazing love life and boyfriend, what you've been focusing and working
Twitch Streaming And Building A Business
SPEAKER_04on.
SPEAKER_01So uh we started a business together, and the the first part of the business was me live streaming. So I have started live streaming on Twitch. Uh I am hamster brain, which is a way I literally describe my brain to my psychiatrist that made him say, Yeah, you do have ADHD. Um so my name is literally a metaphor for ADHD. Right, which I think is amusing. Um, but yeah, so I like to I try to live stream like four to five days a week, uh, usually during the week. Um mostly, yes, for entertainment. I'm streaming video games. Uh I also never claim to be good, so I will be that person that'll stream a retro video game for the first time and you'll watch them die a hundred times in a row. It's what it is, you know. Um I I also stream a lot of uh Magic the Gathering, which is a one basically the biggest trading card game worldwide. It also has an online base, so I play online, but we also have a company where we sell the cards like IRL cards. Right, right.
SPEAKER_04So we have a that they can add like to their deck and to their real decks, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because Magic the Gathering, as you might notice in its name, it's meant to be played with people. It's a gathering.
SPEAKER_06Right.
SPEAKER_01Uh so it's something that started in the 90s, and it's a card game. You'll build your deck.
SPEAKER_06Right.
SPEAKER_01You know, you might have your own theme or a special card you love, but you know, you build your deck and you play it with friends.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_01And over the years, it's just grown.
SPEAKER_04So, like, okay, like I'm thinking back to like when I was a kid. I remember like Pokemon was the big thing, and I remember I had like a family friend that was really into like the Yu-Gi-Oh cards. I didn't understand any of it.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_04But like, how does that like can like Magic the Gathering compare to like Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh? and like what's the other one? Like Dragon Ball Z or something like that.
SPEAKER_01So I'd say Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh! Dragon Ball Z.
Magic The Gathering Explained Simply
SPEAKER_01Um, I believe all of them um originated in Japan. Okay. If not Japan, somewhere in the area. Okay. Um, and they have the card game, they have video games, they have cartoons. Yeah, it's a full franchise. It's a f it's a full thing. And Pokemon is definitely the biggest. For sure. Like worldwide. It is become a it they've become investments. Yeah. Um, some of these like graded cards will be worth thousands. Right. So it's something that you play, but a lot of people it's something they collect. Okay. With Magic the Gathering, it is more like 90% people getting these cards because they play with them.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_01So it's it's a game.
SPEAKER_04So it's more they want to add to like their personal collection to like what am I trying to like for like a purpose as opposed to just saying like they have the card in their collection.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Cause a lot of times with Pokemon, people will be like, I want all versions of the Eevee, or I want all versions of Pikachu that I can find, you know, and that will be their goal. Okay. Finding those cards, building their collection. And I'd say more with Magic the Gathering, people build their collection because they want to play with it.
SPEAKER_06Okay.
SPEAKER_01And they want to make better decks, and they want to get competitive, and they want to maybe go professional and get on these freaking like all pro tours where people pro tour look like.
SPEAKER_04Like I'm picturing like poker, but for like nerds.
SPEAKER_01Kind of.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_01Kind of. So there's different kinds. There's uh drafted and there's constructed. Okay. So constructed is where they are building their decks and bringing it to play. Okay. And playing against other people and other decks and tournament style to see, you know, who has the best deck or who played it the best.
SPEAKER_06Okay.
SPEAKER_01Um, and with uh, I think I said limited or drafted, is kind of a cool kind of I feel like it's a more interesting version. It usually happens when like new sets come out. Okay. But what it is is you'll have, say, four people and they'll all have three or four packs. Each of them, they'll open that pack. They'll look through the cards.
SPEAKER_04Oh, without knowing what was in it to begin with. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01So they look through these cards and they go, which of these two cards do I want to keep from my deck?
SPEAKER_02Oh.
SPEAKER_01And they'll take those cards and then they'll pass out. So you're building the deck as you go. And you're and you're also like playing, like trying to figure out what other people are doing.
SPEAKER_04I feel like that's more fun than seeing like someone's like strategy.
SPEAKER_01I I it's it's a more fun level.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01For sure. I do believe the constructed are usually like the higher, more intense, like competitive, like I can I can feel like I can picture the people. I mean, these pro I mean, these tournaments, they're thousands of dollars.
SPEAKER_04This, yeah, like this is serious business. It's serious business. Like, I feel like the draft would be something like fun to do. Constructed would be something like, no, we're doing this.
SPEAKER_01There are a couple different podcasts that I watch where it is drafted.
SPEAKER_03Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01You know, where the process, and I I'm gonna shout it out because I love it. But no, please, we I wanna say, um, gosh, it's Ben Bateman. He's actually he is in LA. Um, and I believe it's uh is it shuffle up? Is it pack it up? It's this chaos wall, but they randomly choose packs and then they all draft together.
SPEAKER_04So it's like a a group of people on a podcast, just like kind of live doing it on the podcast. Okay, fine.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so that's that's a fun one to watch, especially if you're trying to understand what drafting is. Right. Because they're talking about okay, I've got this card or I got this card. These are awesome. So they're also build a deck on this.
SPEAKER_03The people listening how to like how to say deal shop.
SPEAKER_04That's cute, man. It got me already. We're talking about something I don't know about and I'm drinking. We're in for a ride, guys.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's it's definitely informational.
SPEAKER_04Right. Informate that's what I'm trying to go for. Yeah. Informative.
SPEAKER_01Let's just say I would not be mad if I got to play on one of Ben Bateman's episodes.
SPEAKER_04Why don't we make that a goal? Why don't we try to get you on this podcast? Hi, Ben, let's clap.
SPEAKER_00I'm an LA too.
SPEAKER_01That was not me tagging him in this later.
SPEAKER_04Um let's let's have dreams. We got we need dreams and goals.
SPEAKER_01I can drive there. You don't gotta fly me in.
unknownThere you go.
SPEAKER_01Um, but yeah, so his is cool because it's a it's called a chaos wall where they're gonna get different packs from different sets from different eras. Like sometimes it'll be the newest pack. Oh, so it's like a going from all the way from like 90s all the way to what is called like the alpha, the beta, like the original sets. It's it's really cool. I've learned a lot from watching his stuff just with the exposure of like sets I haven't seen yet. Right. Um, because this is a game that I I actually played for a year or two, maybe like 15 years ago. Okay. And then stopped playing, lost all of my cards in a breakup and moved on with my life. Yeah. But then once I started playing it again at the beginning of this year, it was one of those like, I forgot how much I love this game. This game is so good, I forgot how much I love it. Uh so it's been really cool to jump into the community, one as a streamer and two as a dealer, as a vendor.
SPEAKER_04And you said you've been going to like um card shows. Card shows. I was gonna say conventions, but when I asked you that before, you were like, it's smaller scale. Yeah. Card shows.
SPEAKER_01I feel like like when someone says convention, yeah, I think it's like an annual it's like Comic Con, which is once a year and huge. And if you were to take that and um make it happen like every week so that it's a lot smaller, then that's exactly what it is.
SPEAKER_04It's a small convention. Yeah, it's a localized it's a local show, it's like a market.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's like a market.
Selling Singles At Card Shows
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So one thing I like about the fact that we have gone into this um magic the gathering like dealer position is that there is a need for people that sell singles. Because not everyone wants to go buy a whole box and crack open the packs and try to figure out if they can make a deck from these cards, and then they're gonna have these extra cards that they're like, what do I do with? Like there are definitely um a good majority of the community. I'm pretty sure that's how we build built our decks like when I played back in the day was you buy the singles you want.
SPEAKER_06Right.
SPEAKER_01You know, you either buy them online, you go to a local store, you go to a card show, and you've got the cards you're looking for, and that's how you build your deck.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So being able to just like get boxes and one cracking packs is fun. Anyone who's packed a uh like crack of trading cards knows it's like I need another one, I need another one. Because especially when you pull something good, right? Because it's just it's exciting.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, but we get to crack those and then we we list them and we're like, here you go, what do you want?
SPEAKER_06Right.
SPEAKER_01We got them all. We got a bunch of these common cards and price them accordingly, obviously. Like it's one of those things where it's like it's a business, but also I really care about the customer service aspect. Yeah, you're right. And I'm not gonna rip people off.
SPEAKER_04Right, exactly.
SPEAKER_01So, like I believe in karma. I'm not gonna rip people off.
SPEAKER_04What's like the normal price of just like the average card? So let's say it's like not like a valuable, super in-demand card.
SPEAKER_01Let's say, let's say a majority of my Magic the Gathering supply, each of those cards are worth under 50 cents. Okay. But there are a lot of cards that are a dollar, two dollars, five dollars. And those are the cards people are usually looking for. Right. Um, but there's also people that'll be like, I need each of these, and they are all 15 cent cards. Okay. Um, one of the pages or one of the websites we sell on the most is called Mana Pool. It's probably the biggest uh Magic the Gathering card supplier online store. Um, and so Hamster Brain. Hamster Brain is on there, and they go to 15, like 15 cents is the lowest. Okay. They go for the cards. Um, some people will refer to them as like penny cards. Okay. But those are like the commons. Those are the ones that if you open a box, you're gonna be like, okay, I have 12 copies of this card. Yeah, you know.
SPEAKER_03You have like an overload of them, and you're like, I have this one.
SPEAKER_01But you're also gonna pull cards that are like the uncommons, the rares, the mythics. You know, is the mythic the most rare of them all? Usually. Like the unicorn of uh, I'd say with magic, that's like the highest ranked. Okay. Absolutely. But then you also have foil versions of cards, which sometimes people just want their decks to be pretty. Ah. You know, like there are things that you need, like it's almost like the money of the deck. It's the mana, it's the energy that you need to play other cards. And you can get just super basic ones that are just like, yes, this is a plane, so or you can get really pretty artistic ones. Like there are full art versions.
SPEAKER_04Like you want like the aesthetic version of it. I think that's what I would do if I was like doing this. Yeah. I would want like when you said foil cards, I'm assuming shiny. Yes. I would want the shiny cards. I want I want my deck to look pretty. Exactly. And I'm like a I'm like a bird. I get distracted by something shiny. I'm like, oh shiny.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I'll there's times when I'll look through our orders or I'll go to like pull an order and I'm like, oh, this person ordered all full art lands. I love them. They're my people. I get it. I get it. I'm here for you. Right. So, so yeah, that's been cool. And we have been selling at card shows. And it we have a wide variety of stuff. We have some Pokemon, we have some Yu-Gi-Oh! Yeah, you're not just focused on magic. We have one piece, we have sports cards. Now we do have a majority of magic, but we got a bunch of stuff.
SPEAKER_04You like to appeal to a wide variety of buyers.
SPEAKER_01And on a personal level, magic is what we know and we like the most.
SPEAKER_04Right. What you're the most knowledgeable on.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. What we're the most familiar with.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So it's also the one that we know the best.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, of course.
SPEAKER_01So you can talk about it and give your wisdom. And sometimes it's like, well, we're here so that we can just build our own decks. This is this is this is what this is for because we like magic. Yeah. But it's it's been a lot of fun. It's been a lot of fun. Um and it's been interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Just meeting different people and seeing the way they are. And and I mean, I've worked in hospitality, I've worked in sales, I've I've done it all. So being behind a table and being like, hey, how's it going?
SPEAKER_03You want you want to, yeah. Right. You're used to that.
SPEAKER_01It comes so easy to me.
SPEAKER_03Of course, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And and Dylan acknowledges it and he loves it. He's like, you're the star. So you just tell me what you're doing.
SPEAKER_04So you work like in front of the people, and he's kind of behind the scenes, like Getting it done, helping you get it done.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I he talks to people too.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. You know, he But let's be honest, you're the star.
SPEAKER_01I'm the introverted extrovert.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01He's the introvert.
SPEAKER_04You're the Leo.
SPEAKER_01I'm the Leo.
SPEAKER_04What an idiot I am. We didn't even discuss this at the beginning because I got excited about my stupid martini. This is I'm gonna I talked about this last week. That the entire month of August is going to be co-hosted and guested by fellow Leos because I collect Leo's like infinity stones, apparently, and I had enough to fill the whole month. So Jackie is our first Leo co-host. I forgot to talk about that because I got excited about a martini I've never tried before. We got excited because me having not tried a martini, that's ridiculous. Come on. So anyway, yes. Jackie is our first Leo guest. We welcome her with our Leo energy.
SPEAKER_05Back to Loud and Proud.
SPEAKER_04Back to you being the Leo and star of the show.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that part.
SPEAKER_00That part.
SPEAKER_04It's Leoncy then. And oh my God. We don't want to talk about how old I am. Yeah, okay. So yeah, she's always we will. We will. But yeah, she was always like talking about because I mean I know she's older than me. Like I, you know, but if you look at her, if you talk with her, if you interact with her, you're not thinking anything really about her age. I guess is what I'm attempting to get at. Yeah. You don't look like I don't look at you as like you being like my older sister. Yeah. But I totally could be. But you could be. Because I've turned 40. Yes. Yeah, because when this episode comes out, it will be two days after her birthday.
SPEAKER_01So when you see this, I've turned 40. I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out. Okay.
SPEAKER_04How are we feeling?
SPEAKER_01I hate it. I'm not looking forward to it.
SPEAKER_04No.
SPEAKER_01I think that I will get over it.
SPEAKER_04So watch the day's gonna come and go, and you're gonna be like, whatever.
SPEAKER_01So one of my longtime best friends, her birthday is just a few months before mine. And I I talked to her recently, and I was like, How was it? How did you feel? She didn't explode into ash. She was like, uh it's uh, you know, it's just making me think about taking care of my body more. And I'm like, okay. Fair. That's fair.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I already make myself stretch every day.
SPEAKER_03So I feel like if we took better care of ourselves in our 20s, we wouldn't be thinking this much about it in our 30s.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Because we were a little rowdy.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but I mean, there, there, there is my one biggest um what what do I call it? My my secret weapon of staying. I already know what you're gonna say. You do. I already know it. You knew. You know, you're right on board. Don't have kids if you don't want to age, okay?
SPEAKER_04She's been, I mean, long since before I think I met her, she's been on her, I don't want to have kids. And if she's never wavered, and you know what you want or don't want. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So I mean, and even mentally, I've always said if I ever found myself in a place where I did want kids, they don't need to be mine. I would rather adopt, you know? And even now, I'm like, it takes enough effort for me to take care of myself. Like trying to get yourself up and get ready and face the day. You mean I have to keep another human being alive besides myself? Legally. Let's not. It's not. I'm good.
SPEAKER_04You can let yourself fall apart, that's fine. But legally, you do have to take care of my mental child.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I got my hands full with me and my two cats. I'm good. Or two cats. Fair. Well, cheers to that. So I've been streaming and doing the TCG thing and TCG is TCG is um trading card games. There we go. So things that fall under that umbrella would be Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh! Magic the Gathering, One Piece, any of those. Um, there's probably a hundred more that aren't as important. Um so yeah, we've been we've been doing that and with the live streaming too. So I don't just live stream Magic the Gathering. I do, I do other games too.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I saw you on your profile. It was like you're playing some like shark game. Or it wasn't a shark game, but it looked like you were in like a pirate ship. Pirate ship. So that's gonna be Sea of Thieves. Okay. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01That that is that's the game that got me into streaming. Oh, okay. So that is the game that the content from that game and some of the creators that I saw, like that was a game that inspired me to start streaming. Okay. Um, it's it's had its up. That game has had its ups and downs. Oh um, we're not gonna get into that. Okay, it doesn't matter. Okay. I I if if there are people that are like Sea of Thieves, yes, I know there's drama. We're not gonna get into that.
SPEAKER_04Oh, oh, there's drama. I thought you were it was like a technical thing, but there's drama.
SPEAKER_01It's like a Discord drama with a player that was a bad person that might have been protected by someone in the company, and so some people are like, the company, but the game, but the and I'm like, I don't know that I'm just trying to play a game. I'm like, I don't know that guy. I wasn't even in the Discord. I don't claim to be family friendly, so I don't play with underage kids. Like, oh yeah, we're just we're just gonna go with that.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. What else do you play? So I do our craters, I do forkn fork night. God, did I really just do that? Fortnite. Um, I like to play some retro stuff because I'm a child of the 90s, so I've been playing through like the old Sonic the Hedgehogs and like games like that.
SPEAKER_04I feel like the only I'm like not obviously a gamer, but the only game I ever remember playing, like on like PlayStation, was at my grandpa's because he was rich and fancy. I didn't grow up rich and fancy, even though I'd like people to think I did, but I didn't. Um, but he always had Crash Bandicoot. Crash Bandicoot. That's a good one. When we were talking about just like doing our episode, I was thinking back like, do I have anything I could talk about? And that was the only one I ever played.
SPEAKER_01I do remember playing Crash Bandicoot on the original PlayStation when I was younger too.
SPEAKER_04Like I remember I was like, I don't know. I'm trying to like think of like how old I was. Like, that's a good game. 7A-ish. I remember you hit the mask and he'd go, ooh, go-go. And you'd be you'd be like safe from like all the dangers or whatever. But that's like the only game I ever played.
SPEAKER_01Dylan has been trying to get me to play that again. So that is on my list. So it still exists then. Yeah, because the thing with a lot of those games is that it comes out and then another version comes out.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_01And then two comes out, and then Bandicoot, like Crash Bandicoot unloaded, or that's not a thing. I'm just making it up.
SPEAKER_04But it might now.
SPEAKER_01It'll be like version two, version three, version four.
SPEAKER_04Like you're constantly updating.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like every couple, you know, sometimes every couple years a new version will come out.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So Crash Bandicoot is still alive in the community. Good to know.
SPEAKER_04It's the only one I know, so glad to know he's still oogabogging somewhere.
SPEAKER_01He is. He is um, he's he's big in the speedrunning community too. So there's a thing with video games, especially a lot of the older ones, is that players will speed run them.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_01And it's how quickly can they finish the game?
SPEAKER_03Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01You know, and so we we watch this thing every year. Um, good, I want to say it's good games done quick, something along those lines. And it's speedrunning and it's for charity. Oh, cool. And it's it's a cool thing. So I know we were watching that recently, and I remember one of the bandicoots being one of the crash bandicoots being on there. Oh fun. So not only is it alive, is it's alive in the speedrunning community, which means that they play it a lot.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So yeah.
ADHD Tools And Being Nice To Yourself
SPEAKER_01Um, so yeah, a lot of my streams are video games, but I also I'm very open about mental health. I'm very I like to be very open about like what I'm dealing with in the moment in my mental health. Um just in a nutshell, you know, getting my ADHD diagnosis, being in therapy for years, being, you know, medicated and finding the proper medication, and then losing my insurance and losing some medication and learning how to adjust without all of the tools that I had. Right. Um, I it's been a lot. So that's something that I've been trying to be open about and honest about because it's hard. And especially, you know, sometimes there are people that are like, gosh, I have this issue and I don't know why.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know, why do I think this way? Well, it it might not be your fault. It might just be ADHD, or it might be autism, or it might be some flavor of neurospicy, which is really what I like to call it. That's what I like to call it.
SPEAKER_03I love that.
SPEAKER_01As opposed to neurodivergent, which is fine. There's nothing wrong with that. You know, but neurotypical and neurospicy, there's a lot of different flavors. For sure. You know, they say well, autism is a spectrum. I feel like um ADHD is a range and a spectrum in its own kind of way. Yeah. You know, you can have bits and pieces. And I do like to be an open place for people to talk about that kind of things. Like it's okay if you're having a rough day. Yeah. It happens. Yeah. You can have a rough day. We'll talk about it. And then let's have some fun. Right. Because what else are you gonna do? Like, it's okay to acknowledge when you're having a bad day.
SPEAKER_06Right.
SPEAKER_01But you you gotta find a way to pick yourself up.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, you can wallow for a little bit if you want, but eventually we gotta get on with it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we gotta move. And it and there are days when it's hard. I oh, for sure. I've had days where I've had to cancel streams and just been like, I don't have it in me. Yeah. You know, and I when I do come back, I'm like, hey, thank you for being here.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Thank you for remembering I'm here. I know I wasn't here for you. Thank you for being here for me.
SPEAKER_06Right.
SPEAKER_01You know, because it's a community.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So that is something that I like to um, I like to I like to be open about. Right. Um, I don't there are things we don't talk about on stream. I don't talk about politics on stream. I don't talk about religion on stream. We're not gonna talk about those things on stream because this is a place for of this is a place for joy. Yes, you know.
SPEAKER_04Um and usually politics and religion don't have a great community sense unless you guys are all on the same page. And if you're not on the same page, then it just becomes anarchy.
SPEAKER_01I will say the one time that politics did come up in stream, it like ended with one of the viewers being like, I'm out of here. Yeah, of course. It's like an unfollowing and leaving the Discord, and I'm like, you know what?
unknownIt happens.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, what can we do? Yeah, politics are rough. We'll actually get into that later.
SPEAKER_01Day till later. Later, not yet. So yeah, it's been a lot of fun. I'm working on creating more content from it as well. Um it's hard when you're balancing ADHD and you have 800 things you want to do and you can't. You know, you gotta be easy on yourself, you gotta be nice to yourself.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I like you've been diagnosed. I have not. I'm just I'm going off feels and vibes. I have an idea of what's wrong with me. I think I have um a touch of ADHD with a splash of OCD, and I don't know, maybe something else is going on in there. I don't know because guess what? Insurance is really expensive. Yeah. And I know I do have a lot of listeners who don't live in the United States, and the thought of having to pay for insurance is an odd concept. Unfortunately, that's where we're at. And until this podcast is bringing in the Buku Bugs, Mama don't have insurance. We're just going off feels and vibes, and I do think I have a a some sort of something. Yeah. What it is exactly, couldn't tell you. Um, but it is hard when you have a lot of thoughts and ideas, and you want to this is you have a lot of goals, but you don't have a way to get to your goals because your brain is just kind of bouncing all over the place. Like, I know exactly what I want to do in my life. It's just how do I get there? Yeah. I could tell you like three different ways on how I could do it, but I can't actually do it myself. You know, it's just like it's it's a weird little cycle to like have your mind like it's a little hamster wheel. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So one way I like to put it is it's getting the hamsters into formation, which is hard because the bigger story of hamster brain is that my brain is like 35 to 40 hamsters all stuck in a skate park going different directions. Some are wearing skates, some are on skateboards. There's a couple that are ice skates, I have no idea what the fuck they're doing. Someone's taking a nap in the corner. We got this one jerking off. Like they're all doing their own thing, okay? But I work best when they all get information. Yeah. When they are all doing the same routine and they know the choreography.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It's when they're all doing their own thing that I'm like.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you're trying to figure out what the hell to do.
SPEAKER_01And that's when you get that sense of overwhelm. It's the overwhelm or the overstimulated that I feel like it's the overwhelm that used to happen that I was like, where is it coming from?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And it's from the overthinking. It sucks.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I will say I'm grateful that I at least had a portion of time where I was like 100% at a perfect medication and like in therapy to a point where I almost was like, Do I even need therapy anymore? You know, I was like, we can do every other week. You know, I got to a very good point that when I I did lose my um insurance and the medications that I was not able to stockpile. Right. Um, I was like, okay, at least I at least I know. Like I'm having this little bit of a breakdown in my head emotionally, but at least I know why.
SPEAKER_06Right.
SPEAKER_01Whereas before the therapy, before the medication, before the diagnosis, I would have these breakdowns and I would say, why, why do I feel like you didn't understand the the reason or like the thought behind it? And it was literally like your brain is feeling so many things, and you're just asking yourself, Why do I feel like this?
SPEAKER_04And you get stuck. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And then you just cry.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. And then you do nothing about it. So then you're not going to be able to do it. And then you keep crying. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And you keep crying. And then you can't stop crying.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01So I am grateful for the fact that I at least was able to get those tools. And which I think is part of why I'm so open to talk about my mental health when I'm streaming. Because I at least was able to gain some tools that not everyone has.
SPEAKER_06Right.
SPEAKER_01You know, and it took work for me to get those tools working. But hearing them is the first step. Right. Which is why one thing that I like to say at the end of every stream is to tell my people to be nice to yourself.
SPEAKER_04Well, she said that to me earlier, and I was like, I think I'm gonna need to hear that a couple more times because I'm like my biggest bully.
SPEAKER_01And I like to point at them. Be nice to yourself. There you go. It's important because I have to remind myself to be nice to myself. Right. Because I've always been my biggest critic. Yeah. When you're your biggest biggest critic, you know how to make yourself feel like shit. Yeah. Stop making yourself feel like shit.
SPEAKER_04For sure.
SPEAKER_01Other people will do that for you.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. That's a sad part of it. You don't need to do it to yourself. Others will do it for you.
SPEAKER_01And then the next thing you learn is water off a duck's back. That I would like to just say thank you, Jinx Monsoon, for drilling that into my head. There's a drag queen from Drag Race, and that was what she said a lot on her season. Uh-huh. Because she was bullied a lot on her season. And she won her season because she was amazing. But you would see her just saying to herself, water off a duck's back, water off a duck's back. Let the haters' words be water off a duck's back. Right. I know I always bring like jokes, but I bring some words of wisdom too. Because I'm old.
SPEAKER_04So old. So old. So, all right.
Hospitality Career Starts Young
SPEAKER_04Before you got into the card trade, what did you call it? Tease. TCG and all that. Yeah. It's you were in the hospitality industry, which is what we teased in our last episode eons ago. We were gonna talk about hospitality horror stories. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So even though I'm not full-time in hospitality, I do still dabble in hospitality.
SPEAKER_00I still have your still wet.
SPEAKER_01I still have my connections, I still have my gigs, the toes are, yeah, they're still wet. I'm not there full time, but that I think that's one of those things about me that I will never lose.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like because there's such a close connection between hospitality, sales, and customer service.
SPEAKER_04For sure. So yeah. So okay, when did you get into the hospitality industry?
SPEAKER_01So what's funny is I would say it does depends on what you consider hospitality. Now, if we want to say when did I first get into food service?
SPEAKER_04There you go. I would start with that.
SPEAKER_0113.
SPEAKER_04Oh boy.
SPEAKER_01Now, when I first got into like more of a fine dining direction, I would say it was 2019.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01So I was trying to like change jobs and find more flexibility so that I could chase acting.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Which I've done so many things. I'm I did real great there. Yeah. Um, all jokes aside, it's hard to balance so many things when you're undiagnosed and you don't know what your mental issues are. When you are trying to survive in a neurotypical world, not realizing that you have a spice to you.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So um, where was I?
SPEAKER_03What was I saying? When did you get started in hospitality?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so I'd say it was 2019 that I started focusing on fine dining. Okay. Which is just if there's food service and then there's hospitality, which is where the fine dining started.
SPEAKER_04Okay, so then what's been like the favorite place? Because you've worked at a lot of different places. In knowing you over however many years, I don't even know how many, you have worked at so many different places. Not to say that you change jobs a lot, you just have always been like busy, busy, busy. You're always working.
SPEAKER_01Sorry, side note, I moved to LA about 10 years ago. So we probably met about 10 years ago.
unknownOh my god.
SPEAKER_01I know.
SPEAKER_04How old am I right now? Like pretty close. That makes no that makes sense.
SPEAKER_01Like pretty close because I actually moved the May before I turned 30.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and I'm trying I'm thinking about where we met. Yeah, in the city. It was around that time. So I was 22. Oh. Yeah. What a baby.
SPEAKER_01Isn't that crazy? I know. Realizing that it's been 10 years since I've been in LA.
SPEAKER_04I'm just thinking about 10 years.
SPEAKER_01Which, which I am a California baby. I am a California baby. Just not an LA native. I am a Southern California baby. Okay.
SPEAKER_02Like, wait, hold on.
SPEAKER_01Um I'm a transplant, but not from far. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Right. Oh, that just like took the wind out of my skin. I know, I'm sorry.
Best Steakhouse And Worst Shutdown
SPEAKER_04All right.
SPEAKER_01Best and worst.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, what's your best? Give us your best first because worst is more fun, and we'll say that for last.
SPEAKER_01So I think that the best spot I actually worked, and I when I say best, I mean the level of hospitality, the quality of food, and just the place that I would want to dine the most. Yeah. Was Fiat Steak in Santa Monica. Okay. And sadly, I I'm sad I left. I'm just gonna say that. Um high quality food. The most incredible steak. Like I learned so much about steaks being there. Yeah. And about dry aging and about different cuts and and the quality of food. These dishes that they would come out with, I would take a bite and I would be like, Are you fucking joking right now? Like, is this real? Yeah. Are you kidding? Um, they were Michelin mentioned for sure. They do they deserved stars. And the team that I worked with, even though they weren't perfect, and I have my criticisms about some of them, they they were still amazing.
SPEAKER_04There's always, you know, one. You know, at least one that you're just like, I uh I had uh I'll mention him because he won't mind.
SPEAKER_01You know what?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, we still we've been mentioning people by name at this point. So here's the thing.
SPEAKER_01I'm if I say something nice, I'm gonna mention them. If I say something mean, I might just not mention their name.
SPEAKER_04Or you could, and we could get the drama really slow. Oh, it just depends. We'll see, we'll see, we'll see.
SPEAKER_01We'll see what happens when we move on to worst. Uh, but one of my coworkers, Jesse, I nicknamed him the showman.
SPEAKER_04Okay, I feel like I know where you're going with this, but continue.
SPEAKER_01Because he just put on such a show at his tables. And was this just he was probably in his like early 60s. But like during early 60s, you know what?
SPEAKER_04I was thinking of an of a like a 21 year old. Don't want to be an actor. No. That's what I was thinking of. No. So never mind.
SPEAKER_01I mean, you were close because he is an actor.
SPEAKER_04But I'm thinking of like that Gen Z. Not to start drama with Gen Z. Fuck you, Gen Z. But that Gen Z, like, I was thinking that kind of vibe. But never mind. All right.
SPEAKER_01I'm kidding. I love Gen Z.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_01Um, no, like this guy had been serving since before I was born. Right. Like he had been in the industry so long, and it was one of those where he didn't even need to know what he was selling to be able to sell it. And he could just put on a show and make people feel amazing. Like, there's no other way for me to describe how he was than this physical actor here.
SPEAKER_04So you gotta be watching on YouTube to see what she's doing.
SPEAKER_01I love it. I love it. He was he was he was a show.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01He he was an actor and he put on the show.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_01And it was different things like that that have just a specific level because there's a level of hospitality to him that it was unmatched because he made those people feel so special.
SPEAKER_04Right. Yeah, you left as the diner being like that guy was cool. That guy was amazing. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know, did you see what he did with the plates? And like, dude, he let us pick our own knives. I'm not gonna lie. I didn't let my tables pick their own knives. I brought them to them.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, we were gonna try to do extra work.
SPEAKER_01I was like, I do love some of that, but like I got a lot to do.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you're like, I got like 10 tables right now.
SPEAKER_01So there was a lot of things that like he would do that I'm just like right, good shit.
SPEAKER_04Sophia Steakhouse, Santa Monica, top tier.
SPEAKER_01Top tier. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_04Let's go, worst of the worst. Because that's more fun to talk about.
SPEAKER_01I don't mind saying this one because the restaurant's closed. Okay. So um one of the places that I worked at for a long time was Olivta. I remember that. And they had they had a sister restaurant for a while. It was called Isama. Yes.
SPEAKER_04And it was located And Isema's the one I went to.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Okay. It was located in a hotel.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_01Isema was basically born from COVID.
SPEAKER_04Right. I do remember that.
SPEAKER_01Because when COVID shut all the restaurants down, Olivetta had not been open very long. And they were like, what are we gonna do?
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_01So they got a deal with this hotel and their outdoor pool area to make an outdoor dining area. Yes. Because that was the thing.
SPEAKER_04Not the worst idea.
SPEAKER_01It wasn't the worst idea. Um, so while outdoor dining was a thing, Olivetta on holiday, I think is what they were calling it, was operating there.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And once they were able to do indoor dining, Olivetta went back home and they opened a second restaurant. Yeah. Which was Isema. And it was a shit show. I I worked there the whole time Isema was open. Okay. Because I was there when it was Olivetta, and then I when they split up the employees, I stayed there. And it was fun. Like that's the thing, is it was a fun place to work. But I don't know if any of the staff was sober ever.
SPEAKER_04I I was about to say something, and then I was like, I feel like maybe if you watch this back on YouTube, you're gonna see my wheels turning. Like I was gonna say something, I was like, nah.
SPEAKER_01I don't think it was like it was really hard to work there and be sober. I understand the environment. That place definitely like if there was a point when I had gotten my drinking under control, that place fucked me up. Um and it was just nothing was in place, and then management didn't quite know what they were doing, and then management left, and then owners said one.
SPEAKER_04It was too much of a like a turntable of people not knowing what's going on. Like, are they rotating their their staff too much to where there's no consistency?
SPEAKER_01A little bit, and there was it was also like it was great when there was no competition.
SPEAKER_04Oh, so with during COVID, it was great.
SPEAKER_01Yes, but once more and more things opened up, it wasn't it was struggling.
SPEAKER_04It can't mean it doesn't have the high standards that places other restaurants in the area have. Yeah. So nobody wants to go back to the crowd.
SPEAKER_01Well, not even that. It's harder when you're in a hotel.
SPEAKER_04That too.
SPEAKER_01You don't get as much cross-traffic when you're in a hotel. You just get the hotel. It's harder to see. It's harder to see. So you do get people that come in, but not as much.
SPEAKER_04I would have never known that place was there unless while you were working there, you took me there. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because you walk by and you don't notice it. You walk by a restaurant, you see the restaurant.
SPEAKER_00If you walk by a hotel, you see the hotel. Exactly.
SPEAKER_01You don't think what kind of restaurant is here?
SPEAKER_00For sure.
SPEAKER_01Um, but yeah, it was it was real fun. It was it was fun until it was fun. Fun. And that place shut down unexpectedly. Okay. And when I say unexpectedly, I mean the employees at the other restaurant knew before we did.
SPEAKER_04Oh, that's nice. Did they know because that means people were gonna come in to take their shifts away from them, or those the people at uh isema were screwed?
SPEAKER_01Isema was screwed. Okay. The people at Isema were screwed, and it was like I actually think too that it was like it was the bus boys, like it was the server assistants that that were still friends with the ones at the other restaurant, and people at Olivetta were hearing that Isema was closing, and they were telling the Isama employees that Isema was closing. And so that's how people found out on like a Friday night that we were gonna be closing. And at that point, I was being like kind of moved into a leadership position.
SPEAKER_04I was gonna say, you weren't you bouncing between the two, and you were like basically going to be a manager, or you were a manager, or I was like working into a lead position. Like they were like trying to like train you to not that you really need to train, but they were training you to like know the systems of both.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, and then and like one manager had quit unexpectedly, and then another shift lead had to step up, and then I was like, I'll help. And then that Friday was that shift lead's last night, because he had already put in his notice. Oh boy, and and so then it's like we have we're like, what's going on? We're hearing we're closing, like we closing, and they had us go in on that Saturday, and I was running the floor. Okay, I was basically in charge that night.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Half of my staff arrived drunk.
SPEAKER_04You know what? Like that was like my kind of place.
SPEAKER_01That was that was the one night, like that Friday night when everything was going down.
SPEAKER_03Because they probably arrived drunk thinking, like, who gives a fuck? Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_01Because that Friday night, I was like, Are you fucking kidding me? Right now, you come out with the staff too? I was drinking hard Friday night. Saturday, like the anxiety and me like trying to run that night. I was like, I I couldn't drink because I was like, if I drink, I'm gonna throw up.
SPEAKER_02Oh no.
SPEAKER_01Now at the very end of the night, once we were done, once we saw what was happening, once we once we saw that the hotel had hired security to watch the doors because they were worried that the restaurant staff were gonna start walking out with things because the restaurant owners owned the ho owed the hotel money. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_04Like back rent from like COVID days.
SPEAKER_01I don't know if there was that long, but it was back rent.
SPEAKER_04So, but like why put put it on the employee? I mean, look, I think anyone who watches or listens here knows I enjoy snatching a thing or two from a restaurant.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04So look, oh don't worry. That's not above me, but I've never had security watch my ass.
SPEAKER_01Well, they wanted to make sure they didn't take the big kids.
SPEAKER_04They wanted I won't be allowed in a restaurant.
SPEAKER_01They wanted to make sure that we didn't take the big bottles of alcohol. That's what they were worried about.
SPEAKER_04Oh, I would be too scared to do that.
SPEAKER_01Because the hotel wanted to make sure they kept that because that was liquid. Well, I don't mean liquid liquid, I mean liquid money. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_01I mean, I did I did take a couple things, but I took glassware that belonged to the restaurant, not the hotel.
SPEAKER_04See, that's what I like. I like the glassware. I like the ramekins. Oh, it was so pretty.
SPEAKER_01It was such pretty. It was these, like, what's crazy is that they were these really pretty water glasses that they had already gotten most of them out, but there were a couple left behind, and one of them was my favorite. I was so stoked. I was like, I got this mine.
SPEAKER_04Souvenir from every place you worked.
SPEAKER_01That's the link.
SPEAKER_04Souvenir from terrible times.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. But I will say that night before we all left, we all made sure to take a shot together. But we weren't playing. We weren't playing.
SPEAKER_04Your shot was a rock class?
SPEAKER_01No, it was like the shot that we all took.
SPEAKER_04Oh, it was like the highest. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01It was what was it? The class Azul Anejo. With the bell. The eneho with the bell. That's what we all took. We're we're like, we won't go fuck.
SPEAKER_04I mean, what are they gonna do at that point?
SPEAKER_01What were they gonna do? We had all already lost our jobs. Yeah, which is funny because actually we had it.
SPEAKER_04I was gonna say, did they ever like formally say that was the thing, is that we hadn't. This restaurant is closing.
SPEAKER_01They called us individually on Monday. So Friday, we hear it's closing. Saturday is like quote unquote, maybe the last night, because we weren't open Mondays, or we weren't open Sundays. And so, like they had the like two members of management that were still left, that were still there, call the employees individually and say, Hey, just you know, we're done.
SPEAKER_04We're like, Yeah, I know that's why we drank the good alcohol. Yeah, and I'm like, all right, yeah, we're but that's like so shit, like just like thinking about it like, okay, you don't know what somebody's financial situation is. What if somebody was really relying on making their rent for like on that week of pay?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And especially because, like, here's here's the thing we weren't we weren't delusional, we knew the writing was on the wall. Yeah, but we thought it was gonna be New Year's.
SPEAKER_03Okay, and when was this?
SPEAKER_01Early December.
SPEAKER_03Oh, oh great, just in time for the holidays.
SPEAKER_01Exactly. Come on, exactly. It was like it was the first couple weeks of December, like it might have been mid because it might have been like the late teens. Okay, but yeah, it was it was before it was right before Christmas. Merry Christmas.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah, happy New Year, happy Hanukkah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I was one of the only ones that was able to call in a favor to Olivetta and actually get a job. Okay, there was a a couple of us that were, but everyone else is fine. Most of our staff was screwed.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04So do you think that would be your hospitality horror story?
SPEAKER_01Or do you have something that's like well, it depends on why you want to say a hospitality horror story. Because the worst guest I ever dealt with was at the best place I ever worked.
SPEAKER_03No, that's such a bummer.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but it was Thanksgiving.
SPEAKER_04Oh, God. Okay.
SPEAKER_01I think I might have mentioned that to you before.
SPEAKER_04I feel like I this story is like somewhat ringing a bell, but I couldn't tell you a specific.
SPEAKER_01Well, okay, so let's let's set the scene. Let's detour.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_01None of my hospitality horror stories were really that bad because I grew up in a hospitality horror story.
SPEAKER_04You did. I don't remember if we talked about this at all last time. I don't think we didn't. I just know this story.
SPEAKER_01I'm pretty sure we didn't. I don't think we didn't. I'm pretty sure we didn't. Um, and what I what I mean by that is I mean my grandma was horrible. She was horrible.
SPEAKER_03Which is interesting that you turned out like the person she would have bitched at.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And I would have been there going, okay, uh-huh, uh-huh. Like the reason I was so good in restaurants was because I watched my grandma be horrible and I knew how to deal with her.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I knew how she needed to be dealt with. So no one was that bad. Because what type of a person goes to Taco Bell in the 90s when these are 79 cent tacos and says, excuse me. I need the cheese to be on top of the meat and then the lettuce. Okay. Not the usual meat, lettuce, cheese. I need the cheese there, okay? That's how I'm ordering my tacos. And to open these tacos and take these tacos back and say, This is not how I ordered them. I want the cheese on the meat and the lettuce on top. Because if the lettuce falls off, that's fine. If you put the lettuce down and then the cheese, the cheese falls off. I don't want to lose the cheese and I want the cheese to melt on the meat. And she's telling this to a minimum wage high school student who's like, I don't give a fuck. They don't make enough for this. I can only imagine how many people went home after their shift talking about my grandma and saying, let me tell you about this crazy fat white old lady. Because she was fat at the time.
SPEAKER_03Is she still alive?
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_03Okay, thank God. Not that I'm happy she's she's passed, but it's just my no.
SPEAKER_01I always said that one day I could write a stand-up comedy routine about my grandma, but it can't be till after she dies because it would break her. Because it's too honest.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01This is crazy, bitch. So yes. When you when she was the hospital story, she was the horror story. When you see your grandma act like that, you're like, I am embarrassed. For sure. And then when that same grandma says, Can you go up to the counter and ask for napkins? And you're like, no. Not getting up. I was literally scared to go talk to them.
SPEAKER_04For sure. I mean, like how like you gotta figure, like, these people are gonna like whatever food she sends back, whatever food she's getting back sent to her table, that that has a that has spit in it.
SPEAKER_01I would like to reiterate 79 cent tacos from Taco Bell. This is in the 90s. Okay. This is my childhood.
Tips Culture And Server Survival Advice
SPEAKER_04Okay, so do you have any advice for those who are listening and possibly currently in the industry and that maybe just need to power through or advice on where to go to get a better job or to keep your sanity a little bit?
SPEAKER_01Okay, I want to say, I want to say something to anyone who works in a state where hospitality and food service workers make bullshit. Okay. There are now we are in California, so we are really lucky because restaurant workers make like a legit minimum wage. Yeah. Like between $15 and $20 an hour, depending on where they are right now. Plus tips. And tips on top of that. I honestly, I this is gonna I'm I'm about to get shady here. Okay. I honestly think that anyone who works in food service in a state where they pay you $215 an hour, quit. I think they should all quit. I think I think they should have no food service workers until those states realize how much they are scamming their hardest workers. If I if I lived in a state where they paid $215 and then was like tips on top, like what are you doing?
SPEAKER_04It's like it it doesn't even usually equate to minimum wage.
SPEAKER_01Like at that point, get an OnlyFans.
SPEAKER_04Like I mean, at this point, just get an OnlyFans no matter what.
SPEAKER_01For real. But like literally, yeah. It it baffles me. Yeah. And it pains me. And it also reminds me how grateful I am to be in the state that I'm in.
SPEAKER_02For sure.
SPEAKER_01Um, but back to real advice. But that is real advice. I do mean it. I think those, I think those states and need to the people in those states need to be like, this is fucked up.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And fix it.
SPEAKER_06For sure.
SPEAKER_01Because the problem is, is that there's such a boycott against tipping culture right now, anyway.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_01That those people are being double screwed.
SPEAKER_04Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because they're being screwed.
SPEAKER_04Now they're not making anything.
SPEAKER_01Actually, they're being triple screwed. They're being screwed by the government, they're being screwed by their employers, and they're being screwed by their customers. Yeah. Okay. Something needs to change in those states. Now, as far as in California and other states that I generally advise. California watches out for their food service workers, which is awesome. What I have to say is um, first, just fucking don't let it get to you. People are gonna be assholes. People are gonna be assholes, and it has absolutely nothing to do with you.
SPEAKER_06True.
SPEAKER_01And two, which is honestly the biggest, my biggest piece of advice that I don't know why more people don't think about is take the time to upsell.
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01Take the time to talk to your guests to upsell to find out what they need.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And don't leave money on the table.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like, don't and that's something I say at card shows too, and I joke with Dylan about it, is like, I don't leave money on the table. If there's money to be made, you make it because you're at work. Yeah, that's your job. You're supposed to make money, it's okay. Yeah. And if your guests come in complaining about how expensive they it is, well, that's that's their problem. They showed up. Yeah, maybe they should do a little research and decide if they can afford that place because there's other places.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, so yeah, I think that's a big one. And if you can find if you can find a place that does automatic gratuity on every check, don't fucking leave. Uh, okay. I only left because they burnt down. Okay. But places that do automatic gratuity, it's not everywhere, it's mostly in the bigger areas. Yeah, you see it more in like you're you're gonna see in San Francisco, you're gonna see it in like in a lot of LA spots too. But if you if you're a food service worker and you find a place that gives you that automatic gratuity, you keep it and you earn it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I think a big problem with places that have automatic gratuity is that you'll have the employees that work hard and take care of it, and then you'll have the people that are like, whatever, we're gonna get it anyway. Whatever, we're gonna get the tip anyway.
SPEAKER_04So they don't bother.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And yeah, you are gonna get the tip. But are they gonna come back?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Are they gonna spend more? Are they gonna spend again?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like it's it's not an easy job if you do it right.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01If you don't care, then it's an easy job and you're not gonna make anything.
SPEAKER_04I like that advice. Thanks.
Listener Horror Stories And Bathroom Disasters
SPEAKER_04Okay, let's cheers back in because you guys don't know this, but we just took a cut. We refilled our espresso tequila martinis and had a pee break.
SPEAKER_01And had a pea break. Because that's important when you're having a drink.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. No, it is. I had been thinking about actually, I don't know how this episode is going to edit. But at least while we've been talking for like the past 30 minutes, I was like, I need to pee. I need to pee. I need to pee. And it was slowly becoming more of an emergency until finally I was like, You want to stop to have a pee break?
SPEAKER_01Yes, yes, I do.
SPEAKER_04So you gave us great advice for anyone going into hospitality, anyone who's currently in it. Unfortunately, there were a couple gremlins who did not get your advice in time. And we have a couple Gremlin hospitality horror stories, which you do not know what they are. I kept them hidden from her because I was like, I need her to blind react to these. I feel like I I feel like I know her very well. I feel like I know what she's gonna say and at what moments we're going to say it. So we're gonna get started. Let's see. They are both signed, so we don't have any anonymous. Ooh. The first okay, also let me actually preface this by saying we had teased in episode three that you were gonna come back and we were gonna talk about hospitality horror stories. I can specifically see you saying it. You were like, hospitality horror stories. Yeah, I remember, and then mental health happened, and then and then shit shit hit the fan.
SPEAKER_01I was not available.
SPEAKER_04But sorry, somebody heard that.
SPEAKER_01Good.
SPEAKER_04So that is where our first hospitality horror story comes from.
SPEAKER_01I would just like to say thank you for your patience.
SPEAKER_04There we go. Rosie. Rosie, we thank you for your patience. So Rosie says, I heard in a past episode you're looking for submissions revolving around hospitality horror stories. I'm here to tell you about the nightmare of a job I had when I was 19 and desperate for work. I had gotten a job at a well-known chain restaurant as a server. It was my summer job that I was happy to get since I had just moved out of my parents' house and into my first apartment with my boyfriend. This restaurant had a very well-known happy hour, and the city I live in is right on the beach, so the crowds are young, rowdy, and not very big tippers. I was new and still learning the ropes, one of them being that my manager was a bitch. She was rude to anyone who wasn't in her click. But I still tried to remain positive and friendly. One shift, there was a group of about ten loud drunk girls. Luckily, I wasn't their server, so I didn't have to deal with them directly, but everyone could hear them. It was almost time to claw. Out, so I had closed or shifted all of my tables and was getting ready to cash out with the bitchy manager. She let me know that she needed me to complete a task before I clocked out in ten minutes. She said it was a simple bathroom sweep. I didn't know any better and accepted it, thinking I just needed to make sure there was toilet paper stocked. When I opened the bathroom, the smell hit me immediately. I looked around and there is vomit everywhere. This bitch. I knew you were gonna say that. I just stand there shocked, and then my manager comes up behind me with a mop, gloves, and bleach, and and smugly asks me to clean it real quick before I leave. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was young, dumb, and spineless. So I just did it.
SPEAKER_05I'm so sorry, Rosie.
SPEAKER_04I stayed 45 minutes past my shift, and when I went to clock out, the manager said she took care of it for me. It was horrible.
SPEAKER_00She clocked her out so early.
SPEAKER_04So she didn't get her overtime. It was horrible. I went home in tears that night because I just couldn't believe what happened. I spent the entire summer at that job before I was able to quit for a better opportunity, and I refuse to eat at that restaurant chain to this day. Rosie.
SPEAKER_01I want to know if it's Applebee's or Chili's or like Red Robin is one of the two.
SPEAKER_04And I'm like, it's gotta be one of the two. Yeah. She won't say because she's classy, unlike myself, who would be out in these people.
SPEAKER_01You know, I used to reference Applebee's all the time. Did you ever work at Applebee's? Absolutely the fuck not. Um, and it's because I would work in these nice restaurants, and I'm like, this is what we're doing. We're elevating standards. This isn't fucking Applebee's.
SPEAKER_04Oh, so you're okay. I get what you're saying.
SPEAKER_01So yeah, I get it.
SPEAKER_04Imagine if it's not Applebee's and you're just running them through the mud, though. I don't give a fuck.
SPEAKER_01Applebee's knows what they are, okay?
SPEAKER_04They know what they are. Okay. And Rosie, not to say that you worked in Applebee's. I kind of feel like it was a Chili's. I don't know why.
SPEAKER_01Could have been a red robin. It could have been. Do Robin serve alcohol? I think so. I don't think they do. They're a real restaurant.
SPEAKER_04Are they?
SPEAKER_01They're a real restaurant.
SPEAKER_04Again, there's no red robin around here. I don't fucking know.
SPEAKER_01Um my mom and my sister both worked at red robin at Roman.
SPEAKER_04And then at some point outback, but I felt like it was like too rowdy to be a too rowdy to be an outbeat. Anyone who doesn't live in America is like, I don't understand what you ladies are talking about.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. It the story's giving Applebee's for sure. Story's giving Applebee's. So that actually reminded me of something that happened. Ooh, share with the class. My very first like real restaurant job was when I was 16. I was Chuck E. Cheese.
SPEAKER_03Oh. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I worked at Chuck E. Cheese for.
SPEAKER_03Is that why you don't want to have kids to this day?
SPEAKER_01Uh it probably solidified it for me. Okay. Probably. I'm not gonna lie. It probably did.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It was great though, because I could take my sister to work with me and it was like self-babysitting. Great. Because my sister was a good kid, so I could be like, here, have some tokens, go play, and she'd be great.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_01Like it was like I could babysit her while I was at work. It was so good.
SPEAKER_03You're getting paid to babysit, technically.
SPEAKER_01Technically. Yeah, technically. Because, you know, not from mom.
SPEAKER_04No. Um I'm so excited. I don't think I know this story at all. I I didn't even know you ever worked at a Chuck E. Cheese.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I I haven't thought of this in a minute.
SPEAKER_04Oh boy.
SPEAKER_01Um, so at this point in my Chuck E. Cheese career, I am I am still on like the lead side. Okay. Am I like 17, 18? Yeah. Am I a manager? No. But am I like pretty much head cashier? Like next level, I had a special colored shirt. Yeah. So there was a situation where we had an issue with our bathroom as well.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_01And it was more of a clogged situation.
SPEAKER_03Oh.
SPEAKER_01And um there's a lot of different pizza toppings. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Oh, I don't think I'm gonna like this. Not that I'm gonna do it. No, it was not good. It was not good. I have a strong stomach, but I'm scared about what you're about to tell me.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it was definitely like clogs drains had clogged, and so there was a puddle, a pool, a pond, and the bathroom. Um, I will say though, as leadership at that point, it was me and a manager that went and took care of it.
SPEAKER_04Oh, you had to do it. We did I mean, I guess like it was good. Kudos to you for not pounding it off on a a newer person who like this bitchy man, like you could have been this bitchy manager who was like, here, bitch.
SPEAKER_01No, I had a manager above me helping me with it. Okay, so like there was a new store manager that went in to help handle the situation. Um because yeah, there have been times, yes, if a kid fucking pukes, which would happen every so often, a kid will just puke on the carpet. And yeah, at that point, you do send the newest recruit in to go take care of it.
SPEAKER_04Or a vomit on a carpet.
SPEAKER_01But it's like it's a little vomit on a carpet, like in the restaurant.
SPEAKER_04Also, can we talk like super side note? There shouldn't be carpet at Chuck E. Cheese. Like, why are we having like carpet like Okay, hold on. Or is it to prevent like when they fall?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, think about kids running around.
SPEAKER_04You don't want a kid to fall and fucking smack their head on yeah, you can see I'm not around children much because I'm like, carpet? Why are we having carpet carpet and sharp edges?
SPEAKER_01Lots of sharp edges, no. Um, so yeah, I and I specifically this was a long time ago. This was god, I was 18, so this was over 20 years ago. This was half a little bit.
SPEAKER_03I I don't mean to be making a gross face at you. The face is understandable. I'm scared of I don't know what's coming.
SPEAKER_01I specifically remember jalapenos. Like slices of jalapenos in this just pond of shit water in the middle of the bathroom. But no, we did that. That any real leadership does not send the newbie in to deal with that, okay? Do you send the newbie in to clean the fucking play balls? Yes. Do you send the newbie in for a quick little vomit on the floor by a game? Yes. Do you send the newbie in for a pond of jalapeno shit water in the bathroom? That is disrespectful. That is when leadership has to step in. And I hate the fact that I was leadership at that moment. You're like the one time being responsible, bites me in the ass. Man, but I do Oh my god. Gosh, I don't remember his name, but I can picture him in my face, the manager that has been.
SPEAKER_04Well, you look for that manager too, for like being in the trenches, literally, with you. I'm grossed out. Like, I didn't, I honestly I thought you were just gonna react to this. I didn't think you were gonna be like, I've been there. I'm like, wait, I've totally been there.
SPEAKER_01I've lived, man. I have life experience. That's insane.
SPEAKER_04But yeah, poor Rosie who had to Poor Rosie.
SPEAKER_01And you know, like Fuck that bitch, man. That manager. Hold on. Are there are is there anything that I'm not allowed to say here besides the ones that I don't obviously want to say? Because that's a fucking cunt right there. Oh, you can say that word. That bitch is a fucking cunt.
SPEAKER_04I don't know if I've ever said that word on the podcast. I but I say it a lot in my personal life.
SPEAKER_01See, I don't say that word a lot. I reserve it for special situations, and that manager deserves it.
SPEAKER_04Um, but Rosie, thank you for submitting that.
SPEAKER_01And God, you took me back. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I didn't know we were gonna get a story out.
SPEAKER_01I knew she was gonna You activated some PTSD with me there, so I feel you.
SPEAKER_04But I understand that being young, dumb, and spineless, I I probably would have done the same thing. I would have been like, okay.
SPEAKER_01How are you supposed to say no? That's your boss.
SPEAKER_04Like, okay, and and um somewhat new, and she's already known as being a bitch.
SPEAKER_01Like, yeah, that's hard.
SPEAKER_04Fuck. I don't like it.
SPEAKER_01And you don't know what you're signing up for because you think it's gonna be a quick refill.
SPEAKER_04So I don't know.
SPEAKER_01That's illegal.
SPEAKER_04It's illegal, but that's illegal. You don't know that when you're 19, you don't realize that, and you're just like, okay, like I'm just happy to have a paycheck, I guess.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. You don't you don't fight for yourself because you don't know you can yet.
SPEAKER_04Okay, the next horror story comes to us from Sabine.
A Bartender Stands Up To Abuse
SPEAKER_04Sabine says, I'm not sure how you want to categorize this: a Gremlin story or a gremlin gossip. Um we're doing neither today. I worked at this bar several years back that I for the most part loved. Decent money, great co-workers, a chill atmosphere, and usually great customers. This specific day, I was having the roughest of rough days. I had just broken up with my boyfriend after finding out he cheated on me.
SPEAKER_05How did I know that was coming?
SPEAKER_04I needed to find a new apartment, and it just seemed like shit was falling apart. I go into work hoping to have a chill night. This guy comes in who I've never seen before, sits at the bar, throws a $100 bill at me, and orders a Manhattan. Rude to throw money, but whatever. I make the drink, I hand it to him with his change. He takes the drink, puts all of his money in his pocket, and starts sipping. So, no tip. Great. I move on to the other customers sitting, including some regulars.
SPEAKER_01I already don't like this guy. I already so don't like this guy. You take all the money and you don't even leave a dollar. Like, you at least leave a dollar. A something. Fuck this guy.
SPEAKER_04Hey, go ahead.
SPEAKER_01You're gonna be real mad. I know I am. I'm gonna be so mad.
SPEAKER_04Around 10 minutes later, I'm making a drink for another customer and I hear fingers snapping. I look over to see the rude customer and I tell him, I'll be with him in just one moment. He groans. Same thing happens as before. I bite my tongue and I smile. This happens two more times. Fifth time's a charm, and I'm livid. When I hear the summoning snaps, I turn curtly and say, Yes. And this asshole crumples up another $100 bill and throws it at me, saying, Make me another one.
SPEAKER_01Hold on. At this point, I would have made the drink and been like, no change. You threw it at me, right? You didn't you didn't expect change after you throw it at me. Oh, this motherfucker. Yeah. Not to get so mad.
SPEAKER_04That's it. I'm done. I hand him back the money and tell him he's had too much to drink and I can no longer serve him. That set him off, and he starts yelling that I don't know who he is. And he could buy this place if he wanted to. Fuck who you are. I'm sorry. And he will fire my ass. Fuck yourself. Okay, sir, have a nice night.
SPEAKER_01I love this person. Right now, I love this person writing the story. I don't know if it's a guy or a girl because the name I've heard. Sabine is a girl. Gr.
SPEAKER_04Hold on to your chair.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, I'm holding on.
SPEAKER_04He gets up off the stool to leave and in a split second turns around and spit. Before anyone throw a bottle, throw a bottle, throw a bottle, throw a bottle. Before anyone could get involved, I grabbed the soda gun and began spraying him down. Security ran up and dragged him out of the bar. My adrenaline was through the roof and it began shaking. I had never been in a confrontation like this, nor have I ever acted, acted out at work in such a manner. She coyote ugly that bitch. I was sure I was about to be fired. The manager came rushing to the front asking what happened and met the now soaked asshole out front. I could hear him yelling. I turned to my coworker and started bawling, saying, I'm gonna get fired. She, along with all the customers at the bar, said no, he was an asshole and I was defending myself. My manager came in after a few minutes and pulled me into the office. He sat me down, handed me some tissues, and high-fives me, saying, Good job. I was so relieved he wasn't angry at me. I just started laughing hysterically. He tells me I can finish my shift if I want, but he can give me the night off and cover for me. I decide to stay and finish my shift, and the rest of the night was filled with laughter and people retelling my story for weeks. Unfortunately, that bar has since closed down, but it was my favorite place I've ever worked at. And luckily, I'm still friends with everyone to this day.
SPEAKER_01Sabine. W bartender, W other customers, W manager, fuck that customer. That's one of the best stories I've heard. That's one of the best stories I've heard.
SPEAKER_04That's why I didn't want to send you these stories. That's good.
SPEAKER_01I'm glad you did it. That was so good.
SPEAKER_04It wouldn't have been in the moment. You would have just been like, okay, great.
SPEAKER_01Oh, girl.
SPEAKER_04Right?
SPEAKER_01Girl. So good. Like, there's a lot of different ways you could react to that. Because a lot. Part of me wanted to go.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
unknownYes?
SPEAKER_04What can I get you? I think I would have done. What can I get you? I've had issues with I've had issues with people like this in the past. Luckily, I wasn't working at an extremely fine dining place. But I did what you've done. I've been like, well, the rest is for me, right? Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And then I walk away and I'm like, what are you gonna do about it? I mean nobody is gonna try to get their money back.
SPEAKER_01There has been one situation where I was at a place we won't discuss, and I just said, all I said was, you do that again, and I'll slap you across the face.
SPEAKER_04I think I know what you're talking about. Oh yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because this person did it again. And I wasn't kidding. I slapped him across the face. And he deserved it. And it was one of the best moments of my life.
SPEAKER_04And it was such a lax place. She didn't get five. Oh no.
SPEAKER_01Everyone was like, that was kind of awesome. It was kind of awesome.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. So Sabine, I'm so bummed this place closed down because I was gonna say, right in like where like I like let's go. Yeah, like I want to know like what like city and say I don't even know if you're here, like in America, or but like if you are, I was wanting to know like what city, what city.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like do you still bartend? That's kind of what I know. Do you still bartend after that? I feel like she does. I probably do. And I hope you retell that story all the fucking time. Cause you should.
SPEAKER_04I would make that my entire personality.
SPEAKER_01You've earned it.
SPEAKER_04It's so annoying.
SPEAKER_01You coyote ugly that fucking dick.
SPEAKER_04Oh. But you know what? I really understand what like her saying, like, because I've been in situations where your adrenaline kicks in and then you get the shakes, and then you're crying, and you don't mean to cry. It's just the the surge of the emotion. You're just like, oh my god. And then her realizing that she is okay, and then it just like descends into laughter. Yeah. I and I've I felt that I was like, I've been there before, I know what that feels like, where your high your emotions are so heightened, and you're like, oh my god. And you're like, okay.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but we can take a breath. But once she took that breath, yeah, bitch. I hope you were on cloud nine all night. She had to like been on cloud nine.
SPEAKER_04And screw the rest of her life, the shitty boyfriend, the needing a new apartment. Like, she's like, I can float through the rest. Like, I got this. I feel like that would give you the confidence where you're like, So good. I got it.
SPEAKER_01Like, we're so good.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
unknownOh.
SPEAKER_01See, that's why I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you.
SPEAKER_04That's why I don't like to tell the gremlin stories that's smart beforehand because I love the the raw, honest reaction.
SPEAKER_01Smart.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_01Smart. But hey, this is a good podcaster right here. She she's she knows what she's doing. She'll learn.
SPEAKER_04I'm attempting. But I did tell you we do have a gremlin guidance coming up.
SPEAKER_01We did mention the Gremlin Guidance Gremlin guidance. What? Hi, I live stream. I talk live all the time. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03But you don't drink while you do it.
SPEAKER_01I don't, actually. Very, very rarely. I think there's been like once or twice that there's when me and my girl were streaming during football season. And if the dolphins win, that's when I agree to take a shower.
SPEAKER_04Every time the dolphins win, I think of you, and it makes me laugh so much. Cause I wait, it was the Raiders, which fuck the Raiders. I don't know what a fuck about them. Well, it's Robert's team, so I hear about it. Anyway, but it was the Raiders playing the Dolphins, and I remember being like, Oh, it's you against Jackie, and he's like, Well, fuck Jackie. I was like, You want me to tell her that right now? He's like, Well, no.
SPEAKER_01It's okay. My stepdad is a Raiders fan, too. Oh, a fellow loser. You know what? Here's the thing though. Here's the thing.
SPEAKER_03Oh, we're gonna go into football real quick.
Sports Fandom And Bandwagon Talk
SPEAKER_01I'm just gonna say, real quick, no matter what sport, when you claim a team, they're your team.
SPEAKER_04Even if you they end up ride through leave teams through thick and thin.
SPEAKER_01Even if they end up being a losing team, you stick with your team. That's that's what it is, okay? I have I have I have zero respect for people bandwagoners that are purely bandwagoners and will jump off the bandwagon and then jump back on. Like here's my thing is Patriots fans have had enough.
SPEAKER_04You know, I don't really have fun not to make this a sports podcast, because it's not. I don't know enough about it. Like I know football very well, just like being well versed in it, like growing up and blah blah blah, whatever. Um I don't have fun watching like the Super Bowl when it's the Patriots every year, when it's the Chiefs every year. It's just like I It's boring. I would love like I have my team. My team is the LA Rams, and it's just because like I'm like homebound, like that's just my team. Respectful. But that's a solid reason if the Rams aren't gonna make it. I'm gonna root for the underdog. And it's not fun when it's the same two teams. Even the Eagles. Sorry, Eagles. I it's just like I can I get some diversity up in here.
SPEAKER_01But yeah, like the Patriots had their dynasty and then they were bad for a minute, and then they got back in the playoffs, and I was like, no, no, no, no, no. No, like let's the Patriots fans have already had their time. They need to learn how to suffer like the rest of us. Okay, you've already had your dynasty. Learn to suffer and stick by your team even when it's hard.
SPEAKER_04All right, let's get back to it. Gremlin guidance.
Wedding Dilemma With A Political Sister
SPEAKER_04She already knows this question. I sent it to her. A little bit.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I will say I didn't read every word, but I read enough of it. Then I was like, the fuck.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, so I sent it to her just so because stories are one thing that's just a raw reaction. But the guidance, I can read it beforehand and I can form my own opinion as opposed to like if I don't send it to you, you just have to give me your like blind reaction. I'd like it to be like more well thought out. We can banter banter about it. Yeah. So Gremlin Guidance question does come to us from Anonymous. Okay. So Anonymous says, I have a question about a difficult dilemma I'm facing at the moment. I'm in the middle of planning my wedding. It's not going to be a huge event. Around a hundred people, 50 guests from my side, and 50 guests from my fiance side. While planning, my older sister, three years older than me, has all but assumed she would be my maid of honor. I've explained to her multiple times that we are not having a traditional bridal party. But I've been somewhat lying. I have asked my best friend to stand up with me, and my fiance will have his brother at his side. My sister and I were close when we were younger, but over the past 10 years we have grown distant. The main source of distance is due to the fact that when she married her husband, her views shifted to a more conservative stance, and over the past two years, she's become deep in the MAGA cult. I still love her, of course, because she will always be my sister. But it is hard to have a conversation with her when our views and morals differ so heavily. She is invited, but I'm worried that if I don't tell her before the wedding that my friend will be up there, she might make a scene on the day. Do you think I'm being unfair to my sister? And what is your advice on how I should navigate this discussion or should I not mention it at all? Anonymous.
SPEAKER_01So I have to say, when I read this, I was it it hit very hard and it hit very close to home. Um I have a little sister that's 10 years younger than me. Now, we are both um people with brains, so neither of us are MAGA supporters. Just to start that off. Um we are both on the correct side of history. But she is planning her wedding.
SPEAKER_04Yes. And she's been planning I did not know when I picked this and sent you the question.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. You had no idea.
SPEAKER_04Let me state for the record, I picked this because she is one of my only friends to have not only a sibling, but a sister. So I was like, okay, sister-to-sister Bond, I can only answer I can give my opinion, but I don't have a sister. I don't know this dynamic. She's the only person I really know who is a girlfriend who has a sister. So that's why I picked the question. I didn't know that this was a legitimate situation within her actual life.
SPEAKER_01I read the first two lines and I was like, what the fuck? Yes. Um, now I will say that there's no political issues between me and my sister. Yeah. So that That part does not apply. What I will say, the first thing I need to say is you need to talk to your sister as soon as possible. As soon as possible. Could she make a scene at your wedding? Maybe.
SPEAKER_04I think that is it's okay.
SPEAKER_01That's probably the biggest fear.
SPEAKER_04Like to make, even if like you're mad about something, about somebody's let's say I went to a wedding and I felt personally victimized by whatever happened. I would never make a scene and then make it about me. I would stew privately, talk to whoever I was talking to privately, but I would never make a scene at the wedding. I think making a scene at a wedding about something so like personalized is selfish.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_01And I'm I'm gonna make a very big personal statement here and say that anyone that is a huge MAGA supporter probably does not have a high emotional intelligence.
SPEAKER_04I will agree with you on that. Sorry to if there is anyone here who is listening that is of that mindset, but I do feel like I have been vocal in the past about where I personally stand in my political views. And I don't think that is gonna be a shock or surprise to anyone.
SPEAKER_01And I'm just gonna say that if you were on that side, you have time, you have you you can open your eyes. That's all I'm gonna say is that you can open your eyes. It's never too late. It's never too late because I'm sorry he was not talking to Teddy Roosevelt.
SPEAKER_03Isn't that crazy?
SPEAKER_01Okay, moving on. Back to that to the point.
SPEAKER_03We didn't even say anything, we just stared at each other. Back to the point.
SPEAKER_01Um, I think that telling your sister as soon as possible is important. Um uh my sister is planning her wedding. She is 10 years younger than me. It has been a very long engagement. Um, they were together a very long time before, so a long engagement is fine, especially because they're actually planning a wedding where they were engaged, which is France. So it's it's a big thing. It's a destination wedding, it's a big thing.
SPEAKER_04A really long planning process. Yeah, just planning a vacation is a planning process.
SPEAKER_01And we were we were at a dinner for her birthday that I had planned when I realized that she was not planning on having me be her maid of honor.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I was hurt, honestly. I was hurt. I love I love my baby sister. She's my baby sister. Yeah. Okay. Of course. Like we've we've gone through a lot, but there's also been a lot of distance.
SPEAKER_04I mean, there's a decade of distance between you, you know.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So even though I might have had these images in my head of what one day my wedding would be like and what part she would play in it, looking back, I also never spoke to her about it. I never told her, you know, one day when I get married, I hope that you'll be my maid of honor. Right. Or, you know, if I'm young, that you'll be my flower girl. Like, because 10-year difference if I get married in my fucking twenties.
SPEAKER_06Right.
SPEAKER_01Um, I never really expressed these to her because there was such an age difference. And we did grow apart, and we didn't live together for a lot of our lives, you know. So it hurt. It absolutely hurt when I realized that I wasn't that person to her. So I will say that speaking to your sister as soon as possible is super important because it is your day for sure. But and I'll dig into that more, but you're gonna want to give her time, you're gonna want to give her time to come to the conclusion that she needs to come to, which might take her a minute, and that's that is your day.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and you don't want her to overshadow the day with her own emotions, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And that's something that took me a minute to settle in myself after I found out that I wasn't gonna be playing this part.
SPEAKER_04But real quick before you continue, when you found out at that birthday dinner, you still didn't make a scene. No, you still were like, okay, no, and we're gonna you sat with yourself and you didn't question it or make it about you.
SPEAKER_01Granted, we were also at the place I worked. I had this thing where whatever great restaurant I was working at at the time, I planned, I planned a birthday dinner for my sister. So we had we had a few of those where we had these awesome birthday dinners for her at places I was working. And we had another one after that. Yeah, you know, yeah, but you didn't stop to like that wasn't the last one. Yeah, you know. I mean, we haven't had one since, but that's just because my work has changed. Yeah. So yeah, no, I didn't, I didn't make a scene. Of course not. I did, you know, have a little bit of a conversation with, you know, her fiance's sister when we were in the bathroom. But that's just a like person to person. Dude, I was caught off guard.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know, and I was. I was caught off guard. I had no idea that this is how this was gonna go. So I had to be very careful with how I responded, and I am aware. Yeah. Um, I do think that that this conversation with her sister needs to happen as soon as possible.
SPEAKER_04I think so too.
SPEAKER_01Either one-on-one or with a with a comfortable third party.
SPEAKER_04Like maybe like their mom.
SPEAKER_01Maybe the mom, maybe the fiance. I don't know if there's another sibling, maybe a brother. I mean, um probably not, but yeah, something like that. Like a close friend of both of them. If there is somebody who understands like the dynamic, at least someone that understands the dynamic, because they might need a neutral party, they might need a referee.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, and it's that's probably not gonna be a fun conversation. No, um, but the sooner you have it, the more time your sister will have to get over it, honestly. Like to be straight to the point, to get over it. Like, yes, I had to come to terms with it. I really I had to get over it. I had to get over the fact that my feelings were hurt when it's not about me. Yeah, it's her day. Yeah, like it's her wedding. I should be happy I'm there. Yeah, you know, yeah, if I was to get married, there are members of my family that I wouldn't invite. For sure. You know? So it's not gonna be an easy conversation. No, and the sister is gonna be hurt.
SPEAKER_04I think the added aspect of it being political on top of it, it's very much because so when you said, actually, I'm going through this, I was like, I would think this might be your sister if it wasn't the political part of it, where I was like, We knew for sure. Hold on, we knew for sure it wasn't your sister. Ten years, three years, politically crazy, politically not crazy. But the fact it was just the political views, it's I think that's adding to it's adding that extra layer of it's adding an extra layer of stress.
SPEAKER_01Yes, that honestly is completely beside the point.
SPEAKER_04But politics are really touchy, and those people who are very passionate about their specific beliefs, whether we agree with them or disagree with them, it's extremely touchy, and they become very sensitive when it's brought up in a negative fashion.
SPEAKER_01I think a piece of advice I would give is to try to keep the politics out of it. Is yes, politics might be why you've grown away from your sister. But yeah, I would I would honestly try to have that not be the reason.
SPEAKER_04Just say, like, hey, like I'm closer with this friend.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, this is this is my friend. This is my person, and I love you, and I want you to be there. I want you to be at my wedding, I love you, you're part of my family. Yeah, you know, but this is by day, yeah. And this is my day. Inviting you, exactly. This is my day, this is what I have decided. I love you, I still want you to be there.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like, I'm not saying I hate you, I don't want you to be at my wedding.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, of course not, you know.
SPEAKER_01So I do think that there is a there is there's a potential for for smooth sailing. Yes, you know, I would try to keep politics out of it as much as possible.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I think that is the touchy subject that might send her over the edge where that's she's gonna become extremely sensitive to it.
SPEAKER_01And the fact that you're having a small ceremony and makes it a little easier.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01Um, because it is only that one person. So yeah, I I think is especially if there's some way that you can describe your relationship with your person that is your your maid of honor type person, and just explaining like I understand my sister has friends that have been there for things that I wasn't there for, and I know to respect that. Hopefully your sister can understand to respect that, but I do think that the the two biggest points are as soon as possible and leaving the politics aspect out of it.
SPEAKER_04I think so too.
SPEAKER_01As much as possible, yeah.
SPEAKER_04You know, just like make it about just like the wedding and that you want her to be there in this capacity.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, reminding her that you still love her, yeah. And I can understand that it might be hard to respect her, it might be, yeah, but reminding her that you still love her is I think the most important part. And that you do still want her to be there. Um, I think that will help her get past the rest of it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and hopefully she can be mature enough to respect the decision and just enjoy the wedding.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And enjoy celebrating her sister and this new chapter of her life. That's the hope and the prayer. I don't know. I'm like, and like I said, if like this, if I were in the sisters' shoes, I would just be like, okay, like what like what can you do about this? What are you gonna do? Like scream and claw your way into the position? Yeah, like I I don't I'm gonna make this such an unenjoyable experience that you're just like fine, whatever. Like, just be it. Like be the maid of honor. I don't care.
SPEAKER_01I mean, I know I had to think to myself about it, and then like honestly, the maid of honor has a lot of responsibilities.
SPEAKER_04You would get to just hang out and have fun.
SPEAKER_01Tell your sister there's a lot of shit she don't have to worry about.
SPEAKER_04That's true.
SPEAKER_01That is you get to just be invited and you just get to enjoy the wedding, and maybe I know that I have a special job at the wedding.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_01I already know that, and it's to keep my mom in line. Okay, good luck with that one. I know, I know. Keep an eye on my mom. That's my job at the wedding. So God, I hope she's gonna be. So, like maybe it's one of those things where it's like, you know, like I still need you there. Of course, I still need you there. I still want you there, I still need you there. This is not your job.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I have a different job for you.
SPEAKER_04There you go. Yeah. Maybe if you can phrase it in such a way where you're like, I don't know. I feel like she's gonna find it as condescending, though. So I say you just have a very honest, not too honest, but a very just like calm conversation with her. And hopefully she doesn't freak out and hopefully it's a it's a you know, productive meeting. And if it isn't, then I guess that's when you have to think about like, well, like if she's gonna be destructive, maybe she shouldn't be there, which is a terrible thing to say, but it's just kind of the reality of a possible situation. Definitely don't wait till the wedding. No, no, no, no. Absolutely not. That's because if you think she will make a scene, then she probably means you know she you know her well enough to know that she probably will. And maybe it's not during the ceremony, right?
SPEAKER_01But you got the whole recession.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, you don't need the drama of on your wedding day, you don't need to only think about that on your wedding day. Or like, even if she doesn't, for you to like sit there and worry that she might.
SPEAKER_01No, talk, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that's just unnecessary.
SPEAKER_01Talk to her as soon as possible. I'm glad I got as much time as I did because like still the wedding isn't until next year, and I'm cool.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I had to talk to myself, and I had to really talk to myself and be like, it's not about you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. You know, which is something I learned in therapy, actually.
SPEAKER_04I was gonna say, you have to remember use the tools you learned in therapy. You have to remember We're bringing it right back to the beginning.
SPEAKER_01All the way back. You have to remember that other people's actions are not about you. Yep. Yeah. Other people's actions are not about you.
SPEAKER_04Which is hard to understand.
SPEAKER_01I just wanted to slow that down and make sure everyone heard it properly because sometimes I need to remind myself that is something that I remember my therapist saying to me. Yeah. Is that you need to remember other people's actions are not about you. They have so many things in their life that they are thinking about, that they are calculating, that maybe they are thinking about you in it, but they have all of their other shit.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_01You know?
SPEAKER_04Yeah. All right. You guys don't know this, but we had technical difficulties. We are back and we are gonna do the end of this podcast.
SPEAKER_01There are no technical difficulties. I don't know what you're talking about.
SPEAKER_04Uh I'm pretty transparent. And we have full drinks again, so let us take a very mini sip. Don't finish it just yet. She had to tell me. She was part of the technical difficulties. All right, Jackie, let's give out your socials.
Socials Final Toast And Sign Off
SPEAKER_04Where can people find you?
SPEAKER_01All right, so you can find me live streaming on Twitch four to five days a week at hamsterbrain402. You can also find me on Instagram at hamsterbain402 and hamster brain store. If you're more interested in to see what I have to sell, we are working on building that out. Um, but yeah, reach out to me. We also have a website, hamsterbrain.media, which is where you can find our links to everything, to my Etsy, where we have 3D printed and painted um video game replicas and all of our TCG player pages.
SPEAKER_04And she is going to be listed in episode, I believe it's gonna be episode 60. So if you're looking at this on the day of the episode airing, it'll be in stories. If you're not looking at it on the day the episode airs, it's going to be in highlight reel under what I believe will be episode 60.
SPEAKER_00And if you see it the week of release, come find me on Twitch and wish me a happy birthday because it's my birthday week and I'm gonna be sad because I'm turning 40 and it's scary.
SPEAKER_04So yeah, all of her uh links and where you can find her will be listed in that highlight reel. So if you're interested in following her or buying from her or trying to find her at a uh card show or a trade show, you know where to find her. Yeah. And if you'd like to follow myself and the podcast, you may do so on Instagram and TikTok at EmilyTogremolipod. If you'd like to watch this episode and almost all the episodes, you may do so on YouTube at EmilyTogremilypod on YouTube. If you have your own Gremlin story, you need Gremlin guidance or you have a juicy, juicy piece of Gremlin gossip, email that in at emily to gremilypod at gmail.com or message or DM me on social media, whichever you prefer. And remember to write if you'd like to remain anonymous or not.
SPEAKER_00And if you want me back, tell her. Maybe I'll be back sooner.
SPEAKER_04I mean, you don't have to tell me, I'll just have her back. She doesn't need to be suggested. I'm just gonna go. But I'm a Leo, I want you to want me. Okay, yeah. Let her know she's wanted and desired. Call to action, I'm saying, at the end of every episode. If you have any episode theme or topic suggestions or guest suggestions somebody you'd like to see and or hear on this podcast, email the M at emily to Gremlypod at gmail.com or again, message or DM me on social media, whichever you prefer. We are rushing to the end because I'm afraid this is about to die.
SPEAKER_01And I have one last thing to say that I like to say at the end of all my streams is don't forget to be nice to yourself. Be nice to yourself. We are way too hard on ourselves. I know I am. You need to be nice to yourself. It's important.
SPEAKER_04There we go. And remember to like, follow, share, subscribe, rate five stars, do all the things. We're gonna cheers out with our tequila espresso martinis. Cheers to you, cheers to me, and cheers to Jackie. Thank you for coming back on the podcast. Thank you, Emily. Cheers, you guys.
unknownBye.
